Learning to Fall

When the rain started, I have no idea. I just know that it’s literally pouring, and Alex is walking in it by himself.

When he answered, I’m not even going to lie – I wasn’t shocked. I had a feeling he would answer for me, and I realize that thinking that way makes me seem like I know him better than his own family, but I just knew.

He refused to tell me where he was, however. We had a great conversation going up until I asked where he was so I could pick him up. That’s when he started giving me the silent treatment, which doesn’t quite work too well over the phone.

“I’m just walking,” He had said, but I could hear his teeth chattering from the cold October weather.

“Come to my house, at least.”

“I’ll think about it.”

With that, he hung up. I called Tara back immediately, informing her that Alex seemed fine. She was relieved, but I could also tell that she was pissed that he answered for me.

“Who were you on the phone with?”

I look up and see Ryan standing in my bedroom doorway. “Oh, just my friend.”

“Okay… Mom wants you to go to bed, though.”

“What? Since when does Mom care when I go to bed?” I wonder out loud, and that’s when I hear a tapping on my window. His eyes dart to the window, and I shrug. “Just the rain, I guess.”

“Oh… sure.”

He shrugs helplessly and I smile. Everything must be so hard on him… he’s so young.

“Tell Mom I’m going to bed now.”

“Will do… night.”

“Night Ry…”

When he shuts the door behind him, I wait exactly 10 seconds before I get off the bed and run over to my window. I pull up the shades and I’m met with Alex. He’s attempting to smile, but he’s shivering, so that makes it a little bit difficult. I push open the window and he climbs inside.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“You told me to come to your house!”

“Yeah, but I meant to use the front door, Alex! My parents wouldn’t care!”

“Whatever, I’m here now…”

“Yeah. Explain why that is.”

He stares at me for a second and then opens his mouth to talk. “Can I have a towel, or something?”

“Oh… right… Um… you could borrow some of Zack’s old stuff… I think they’d fit…”

“Actually, thanks for mentioning him because I definitely left some clothes here. Be right back.”

Before I can say another word, he’s already down the hallway and back within a minute. He walks into the room holding up sweatpants and an old looking t-shirt.

“I knew I left these here,” he says, and before I can even stop him, he’s pulling off his jeans in the middle of my room.

“Could you like, not strip in the middle of my room?”

“Oh…” He stops with his pants around his ankles. “Too late.” He pulls them off completely and quickly pulls on his sweats. “I’m taking my shirt off. I’m warning you now- you will probably be impressed.”

I roll my eyes and walk to the other side of my room and sit down on my bed. I don’t know why I let him in. I shouldn’t have. He pulls off his t-shirt and I just barely contain my laughter. There’s nothing impressive.

“Can you explain to me why you’re here right now?”

“You invited me here, Stella,” he reminds me, and I really want to smack him. Hard.

“Okay, yeah, I know that. But why are you wandering around at night in the first place?”

He shrugs. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Oh, just life.”

“Life…”

“Yeah. I went to the park. I sat on the swings that Zack and I used to play on when we were like, ten. Then I got all depressed and I actually managed to get my friend to drive me to the cemetery.”

“You were at the cemetery?”

I look at him, slightly unsettled. Why would he go there?

“Yeah… I saw his grave.”

I stay silent. I don’t know what I’m meant to say to this. I haven’t even visited Zack’s grave since the funeral.

“I liked the phrase you guys put on it…” he continues and then starts chewing on his fingernails. I want to reprimand him, tell him that it’ll ruin his nails, but seriously, that’s not my job.

“Oh… yeah. My mom picked it out.”

"It fits.”

“I know.”

“Have you gone to the cemetery since the funeral?”

“No, I haven’t,” I admit.

“I’ll go with you.”

“When?”

“Right now.”

He holds out his hand and I take it without any sign of hesitation. I am fully aware that it’s raining and that if I go outside, I will more than likely end up with pneumonia, but I don’t care.