Learning to Fall

After tutoring Alex on Friday, I haven’t left my room. It’s Saturday now. It was hard being around him and not telling him what I know. I can’t tell him… I feel awful for reading those messages as it is. He’ll probably make me feel worse.

His SAT is today. I glance over at my alarm clock. It’s 11:50. He should be done now. Or at least he should be done sometime soon. I really hope he did alright… If not, he’ll have to take them again in May or something. That’s more time to tutor him… I could probably help him get a better grade if I had more time.

But, whatever. Knowing Alex, he’ll probably just take the grade he gets today and leave it. He won’t want me to tutor him anymore – he’s done with school. All of the seniors are. Tara said it herself. She has the worst case of senioritis anyone could possibly ever have.

At 12:45 I hear a car pull up outside. I don’t think anything of it until my cell phone rings. That’s when I know it’s Alex.

I look out my bedroom window. His car is sitting in my driveway and he’s leaning against the driver’s side door with his cell phone up to his ear.

I could go down there. I could ask him how the test went. I could tell him what I read and maybe he would say ‘then be my girlfriend’. Or maybe he would say ‘I don’t feel that way anymore.’ I could go down there. But I’m not going to.

My cell phone stops ringing and everything is quiet again. Outside, Alex shoves his phone into his pocket. He looks up at the house, and I thank God my window isn’t as visible as the rest of them because of the tree Dad planted in front of it when they first moved in.

I watch Alex leave. He pulls out of the driveway and makes a right at the corner, leaving me behind.