Learning to Fall

“You can’t ignore him forever,” Tara says.

We walk down the over-crowded senior hallway together on a search for Stefanie. She was supposed to meet us at Tara’s locker but she never did.

“I’m doing a pretty good job of it,” I point out.

I haven’t spoken to Alex in 3 weeks. It’s the second week of December and finals are coming up. I heard he got a new tutor, but I’m not positive.

“Yeah, because you walk the other way when you see him. Seriously, I think you should talk to him about it. Or at least read your brother’s responses to his texts.”

I want to tell her no; that I really don’t want to read them, but that would be lying. And she knows when I’m lying – I’m pretty bad at it. Before I can respond, one of the classroom doors open literally 2 feet in front of me and I have to make a short stop in order not to walk into it.

You know that feeling of dread you get when you see a scary movie and you just know what’s about to happen? Yeah, I’m feeling that right about now. Alex walks out of the classroom and stops right in front of me, staring at a graded test.

“How is this wrong?” I hear him mumble to himself.

First off, I don’t know why he thinks he can just stand in the middle of the hallway, because everyone’s running back and forth from their lockers to their friend’s lockers and it’s really just a total mess. But here he is - standing in the hallway and not looking like he’s about to move anytime soon.

“Alex, watch where you’re going,” Tara suggests, sidestepping him.

He looks up from his test, and now I see that he got a 55 on it. Ouch.

“Oh, I’ve been looking for you, actually,” he says.

Tara starts walking again and I follow, Alex falling into step right along with us.

“What’s up?” she asks.

“Well, apparently Christmas is at my house this year. Did you know that?”

“Yes.”

“So I was thinking, you know how you’ve been like, going out with that loser Jack? What’s his last name…?”

Tara frowns and quickens her pace. She’s been seeing this guy Jack for a few weeks now. I think he’s really nice, but Tara told me that Alex thinks otherwise.

“Honestly, what’s it to you?”

“I would just like to make sure you understand that he’s not invited to the Christmas festivities.”

“Whatever, Alex – I’m pretty sure he’ll be spending time with his own family. And we’re not even that serious yet so just stop it.”

I hear Alex laugh as I concentrate on walking. I glance over at him but he catches me.

“Hey Stella. How are you? I’m pretty sure I haven’t spoken to you since… Oh, since you started avoiding me.”

I blush and he laughs again.

“I’m fine,” I answer quietly.

“That’s good. I failed my Math test. See?”

He shoves the test into my hands. It’s the one he got a 55 on.

“I’m sorry…”

“Yeah, my tutor sucks.”

I nod, because that’s all I can think if doing.

“Alex, we have to go find Stef. I’ll see you later,” Tara says, pushing me in front of her.

I keep walking, looking back only when he calls my name.

“I’m calling you later, Stells!”

He points at me and then holds out his cell phone, as if I didn’t understand what he meant.