Learning to Fall

It’s Friday. I have a date with Alex. I have no idea how this is going to go. I’m nervous, excited and slightly concerned all at the same time, and I really feel like I’m going be sick. Fantastic, I know.

“Stop being so dramatic,” Tara tells me. She pulls a pair of jeans from my dresser and hands them over. “Put these on.”

I sigh and take them from her. “I’m just nervous.”

“That’s okay. That’s natural. But try calming down. It’s just Alex. You know him.”

I nod even though her back is turned to me. She reaches into my closet and pulls out a shirt that I had bought a while back… maybe in July. It’s black with a simple design on it. I remember buying it with my mom.

“This is good. Wear it.”

“Alright… if you say so.”

“I know so. I’m a professional at picking out clothes for dates.”

I change in the bathroom and run a brush through my hair once more. There’s nothing more I can do to it – it’s straight and it won’t do anything else but be straight. There’s no point in trying to curl it. The curls will just fall out and it will be pointless.

I think I look alright. Actually, I think I look better than I usually do.

“Are you coming out so I can see what you look like?” Tara calls.

I open the door and walk back to my room. She’s sitting on the bed texting someone – probably Stef. She looks up and smiles.

“You look hot. I did a good job.”

I blush and pull at my bracelets. “I just feel…”

“Nervous,” she finishes for me. “I know, you said. But listen to me. Everything will go fine. You shouldn’t worry so much.”

“I know, but I can’t stop!”

“You are constantly worrying! Be calm for once!”

I ignore her and look at my phone instead. It’s 5:15. Alex is coming at 5:30. I don’t know where we’re going. He said it was a surprise. Actually, he told the entire junior hallway that it was a surprise. I have never had that many people stare at me at the same time in my life.

“He’ll be here in 15 minutes… I’m going to head out. Do you need anything before I go?”

I shake my head in response to Tara’s offer. I just need him to get here and just… God, I don’t even know.

“Alright well, good luck, alright? But I’m sure it’s going to be fine. He already likes you. His goal is to get you to give him a chance.”

“How do you know?”

“He’s my cousin. He tells me things.”

She gives me a suspicious smile and I just roll my eyes. I’m too nervous to be annoyed.
*

His car pulls up in front of my house at exactly 5:30. I now find myself in a really weird situation – I have to tell my parents where I’m going.

I didn’t really think of this before… Fuck, what am I going to say? Oh hey Mom and Dad, I’m going on a date with my dead brother’s best friend! That’ll go over so well.

When Alex knocks on the front door, my Mom immediately rushes over to open it. It’s as if she’s expecting someone. She’s got her hand on the doorknob before I can even tell her to stop.

“Oh, Alex… What are you doing here?”

I hear her talking to him from my seat at the kitchen table. I want to hit my head on the table a few times. I feel like it would be better than listening to Alex’s explanation to why he’s here.

“I’m here for Stella, actually.”

“Stella?... Well, she’s in the kitchen, I’ll go get her.”

I hear my mom’s footsteps approaching closer and when she finally appears in the doorway, I look up from the table.

“Stella… Alex Gaskarth is here to see you.”

She gives me a funny look. It’s a look that clearly says ‘why is here for you?’.

“Yeah… Actually Mom, I’m going out with him tonight…”

Her face has a look of surprise. “As in… a date?”

“Yes.”

“Oh… well… that’s quite unexpected. I never expected you to be interested in him…”

“Is it…okay?”

“Of course it’s okay… I don’t care who you date as long as they’re not a druggie or alcoholic…” She lowers a voice now. “He isn’t a druggie or alcoholic, is he?”

“No, Mom.”

“Alright… well… I guess you better go…”

I nod and stand up and grab my back from the back of the chair. She walks over to the counter and leans against it, just staring at me.

“What?”

“I just… I don’t know… You’re just growing up, I guess.”

I roll my eyes and leave the kitchen as fast as I can before she starts crying. She’s too emotional sometimes.

I see Alex standing awkwardly in front of the front door. When he sees me he smiles and waves.

“You ready for the best date of your life?”

“Yeah. I guess I am.”