Learning to Fall

Life with a boyfriend shouldn’t be so drastically different. However, I guess Alex Gaskarth being your boyfriend could cause a slight upset in your daily routine.

For example, half the girls in this school now hate me. I have the guy they want, and they’re pissed. And it’s ridiculous. All they do now is whisper about me when I’m around.

When I was in Math earlier, which is full of seniors, the girl who sits next to me kept glancing over and pointing me out to her friends. It’s as if they think I can’t notice what they’re saying about me.

That’s the girl.

She’s sleeping with Alex Gaskarth.

She’s such a whore.

I thought he had better taste than that.

It’s obvious he’s using her.

I thought he’d be a bit more considerate of his dead best friend’s little sister’s feelings…

I try to block it out, but it’s hard. I mean, they know nothing about me, yet they act like they do.

Now, as I walk down the hallway towards my locker to put my stuff away for lunch, for once I don’t feel anyone’s eyes on me. I make it to my locker without hearing anything about me. Alex is waiting there.

“I talked to Tara about all this shit about you. She said she’s ‘handling’ it. I don’t know what that means, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I didn’t realize how much my reputation would affect you and –”

“Alex, stop. Don’t worry about it.”

I put my textbooks into my locker and he leans against the wall. “I just feel so awful… girls can be such bitches!”

I look up and him and laugh at his expression. He looks so frustrated and pissed off, it’s just really funny.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“Sorry.”

“I just don’t understand…” He trails off. His eyes land on a girl walking by who decides it’d be really cool to stare at me. “Fuck you!” he yells at her.

She smirks. “You already did.”

As she walks away, I grip my bag tighter and breathe in deep. I shouldn’t let this affect me like this.

“I definitely did not fuck her,” I hear Alex mumble.

“Okay, rule number one,” I say, standing up. “I don’t want to hear about who you’ve slept with or you haven’t slept with. I don’t want to hear about any of it.”

“I…yeah, you’re right, sorry about that.”

A silence settles between us and I really want to hit myself for making this awkward.

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Hey,” He puts his hand on my arm and smiles. “Don’t apologize. You were right.”

“I…okay.”

We walk down the hallway together towards the cafeteria. Nobody looks twice at me, but I think it’s just because Alex is with me and they know that if they piss him off nothing good will happen.

“Hey, Gaskarth,” Rian Dawson says, falling into step beside Alex. He looks over at me and waves. “Hi, Stella.”

“Hey Dawson. What’s up?” Alex asks. He slips his hand into my own.

“I was just wondering if you were signing up for baseball in the spring, because Coach wants us to start training early.”

“Hey, yeah man, I’m definitely playing ball this year. I always do.”

“Awesome. We have to see Coach after school today in the gym. He wants to talk to us about tryouts. They don’t start till like April but he said they changed everything around.”

“Okay man. I’ll see you then.”

The two of them do some stupid high five/handshake before Rian goes off in the opposite direction.

“I forgot that you play baseball,” I say when Alex takes my hand again.

“Yeah. So did I actually.”

We both laugh as we walk into the cafeteria together, immediately spotting Tara sitting with Kaitlin, Julia and Rae. Beside her is Jack, her boyfriend.

“Fuck, he isn’t sitting with us, is he?”

“Alex, be nice. He’s actually a nice guy if you took the time to get to know him. He’s your cousin’s boyfriend, just try, alright?”

He gives me an annoyed look but I know he’s not going to protest. When we sit down at the table, Jack waves at me enthusiastically. He’s in a few of my classes, so I kind of know him already.

“Hey Stella. What’s up?” he asks, scooting over so I have more room.

“Hey. Nothing really. I didn’t do my history homework yet. Can I do it in study hall?”

“Yeah, I finished it in like, 20 minutes. It was really easy.”

Next to me, Alex makes a noise that sounds like a laugh that he’s trying to cover up. He fails miserably. I shove my elbow into his ribcage. He gasps but quickly composes himself. “He’s a total nerd,” he whispers into my ear, but I ignore him.

“Where’s Stef?” I ask Tara.

She shrugs. “She didn’t come in today. I think she’s sick.”

“So how well did you handle the situation, Tara?” Alex asks. He reaches over to her tray and pulls half her bagel off of it. “I’m eating this, by the way.” He hands me half of it.

“I got that bagel for Stella, first of all. And second, I think I handled the situation just fine.”

“But how?”

“I have friends, Alex. I know people. I told them to quit it. They should stop eventually.”

“That’s it? I thought you had some brilliant idea! You telling them to stop is not going to do anything.”

“Yeah? Well you’ll see.”

They glare at each other for a second and then Tara looks over at Jack. “That’s my cousin Alex, by the way.”

She motions towards Alex and Alex pretends not to hear her.

“Hey Alex. Tara said you’re really into music and stuff.”

“Yeah. But you probably wouldn’t know the bands I listen to,” Alex responds, his voice cool. He’s such an ass.

“She says you like Blink. They’re my favorite, personally. She said you play guitar, too.”

“Yeah…”

“Oh, I play too. I’m not very good; I only started a year ago.”

At Jack’s statement, Alex looks interested. “Seriously? You play?”

“Yeah… I do.”

“Awesome.”

*