Learning to Fall

“If I get at least an 80 on the test, I can save my average.”

“You can do this. You just need to study.”

“It’s hard when you’re so distracting,” Alex responds. He winks and I just blush. “Just kidding. Let’s keep going. What’s the answer to this?”

I recover quickly and look to where he’s pointing. “I showed you this yesterday.”

“Really?... Oh! Yeah, I remember now.”

He moves his pencil quickly across the paper, filling in the information exactly how I showed him yesterday. After another few minutes, he begins checking it. I watch carefully, nodding as he arrives at the right answer.

“Is it right?” My smile is his answer and he puts both hands up in the air. “I am awesome!”

“Chill, you still have to get all of this,” I say pointing to the rest of the information remaining on the page.

“Break time,” is his simple response. He pulls me close and lies back on his bed.

“I got my acceptance letter to Molloy… I got in with a baseball scholarship. But they wanna see me play this season.”

I sit up straight. “That’s in New York, isn’t it?”

“Long Island, yes.”

“Oh… well I’m so proud of you Alex! I told you you’d get into whatever colleges you applied to!”

I kiss him, and he pulls away first.

“I know… I mean, I really want to go to New York but… I definitely do not want to leave you.”

“Don’t base your college decision on me. You have to do what makes you happy.”

“You make me happy.”

**

The first Saturday in February, we all go out to a house party that’s hosted by one of Tara’s friends. It reminds me of the first time I met Tara and Stef – we’re sitting on couches in the person’s living room and just talking. Alex has been MIA for a few minutes and Jack just went to go get another drink, so that leaves me, Tara and Stef once again.

“How’re you and Alex doing?” Tara asks.

“Fine… Nothing new, you know.”

“He told me he got into Molloy. Are you still helping him with math?”

“Yeah, he needs to keep his average up or they’ll take the scholarship away.”

“Yeah, I hate that part. I’m probably going to get a scholarship to Loyola, but I need to keep my grades high. It sucks because all I want to do is just relax and have fun for the rest of my senior year,” Stef says.

We all look up when there’s a commotion on the opposite side of the room. There’s a large group of people standing in the doorway of the kitchen, but the only two I can see clearly are Alex and Jack.

“Do not go over there!” Alex is saying, and he’s pushing some girl back into the kitchen area.

“Don’t touch me!” she responds. Her eyes lock with mine. Fuck, I think it’s time to leave.

“You promised. You made a fucking promise and you can’t back out of it now!”

The girl tries to push past him, but there are too many people in her way. She has a water bottle in one hand and a cell phone in the other.

“We can talk about this later, just leave her alone!” Alex’s voice is strained and he sounds extremely nervous.

I feel Tara’s hand on my shoulder and she stands. “Come on, I think it’s time that we leave…”

“But-”

“Jack’s telling us to go,” She interrupts and points towards Jack. He’s pointing towards the door. She grabs my hand and we make our way towards the door. The only problem is that we have to go past the kitchen to get there.

I catch Alex’s eye as we approach but he doesn’t give me anything. No smile, nothing– he just keeps a tight hold on the girls arm, who I can now see clearly. She’s pregnant.