Give in to Me

May 1, 1985...4:43 A.M

I lay on my bed watching a re-run of 'Good Times' as a small laugh escaped my lips.
Not much has happened since the last meeting with Michael. His friends would call and try to talk to me, but I would never budge. Diana tried to call once and I talked with her a little.
She said that Michael wasn't the same and he was barely eating. He'd do nothing but mope around and cry a while until he'd be so exhausted that he'd just pass out wherever he was.
I felt bad, but my life wasn't as perfect either, so at least I knew he felt the same way.

I sighed and rolled over out of bed. I went to my closet and found a Dance Outfit and tried it on. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt satisfied with the way I looked. I quietly left my room, and crept down the stairs. I grabbed my keys that were on a coffee table and walked out of the house, quietly shutting the door. I made my way to my car and quickly turned on the engine to hear its soft purr.

I drove for about twenty minutes until I saw a sign that said, 'Little Danii's'. It used to be the studio I used to go to when I was five to learn to dance, but I quit when I turn sixteen when my Aunt Danii died of lung cancer. She was the owner of the small studio and every little girl who wanted to dance would always come to Aunt Danii for help. The only exceptions I would take to come down here was when I was upset or if I ever had to dance again for something extremely important. I slowly opened the door to the building and the smell of flower lilies hit my nose. The smell of my Aunt. I held back the tears as I made my way towards the room I would practice in when I was younger.

I set my bags down that I brought in with me on the wooded floor-boards. I walked over to the stereo and chose which song I wanted to dance to. I soon found myself in the middle of the room and dancing to the beat of 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun' by Cyndi Lauper. I felt myself getting lost in the moves I was making and didn't notice who entered the room. I imagined myself dancing on stage to a classical play and people giving me a standing ovation. I started to put all my anger and frustration into the dance as I spun around and thought about Michael. Tears started to form in my eyes and I stopped and fell down to the ground, silently crying to myself.

The sounds of footsteps reached my ears and my head shot up to see the one who would always find their way back into my head. I wiped the tears away and stood up to meet his dark sullen eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered. Michael shrugged his shoulders and he just stared at me. "I came to rehearse before a show, I'm performing tonight," His voice was hoarse as he spoke. He took a step forward and I took a step back. Michael sighed, giving me a heart-breaking look.
"Katrina, please. I'm sorry. I really am. Forgive me, please? I was stupid when I made the decision."
I looked at Michael, the tears finding their way to my eyes once again.
"We don't have to be in a relationship...we don't even have to be friends...I just want to see you somehow and know that you're okay." He begged.
"No," I whispered softly.
"No? Why? What's so difficult about that?" He asked.
"It's not just that, Michael." I said, my anger for him coming back as we continued the conversation.
"Then what is it, Katrina? Huh? I'm not asking for you to come back and run into my arms and cry your heart out. I'm just asking for a simple acquaintance." I shook my head as I realized I was getting him upset. I stood my ground as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. "Please?" He asked softly.

"No."
"Okay. But why?"
"Michael, don't push it."
"I just want to know. I am getting tired of worrying about you and feeling gu-" I stopped him as my anger finally boiled over.
"Then stop worrying and feeling guilty! Damn it!"
"I can't! You expect me to just get over this? Well News Flash, Katrina! I Fucking Love You! This isn't just something a man can get over!" He yelled at me. "I've tried so damn hard to get you out of my head, and yet I never succeed." I stared at Michael in complete shock. I've never seen him so upset before and this is a first I've ever heard him curse.

I shook my head at him and turned my back to him. I was going to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist tightly and spun me around to face him again.
"I'm not finished." He said angrily. I looked at him to go on.
"I regret that day you had that accident, and I know it's my fault." Michael whispered staring into my eyes. I nodded slowly.
"Just please forgive me." He begged once more.
"No."
He looked at me incredulously and stared at me for answers. I turned from him and started to walk away slowly.

"That day I woke up and you found me throwing up when you got the doctor. Do you remember?"
Michael nodded, his head down and tears dropping to the floor-boards.
"When you left, the doctor examined me. Days later, I got some news that slapped me in the face. Hard." Michael sniffed and kept his head down. I took this as a sign to go.
"I was pregnant. With twins."
Michael's head shot up and his eyes were big.
"Was, Michael. Was." I choked on my own words. Michael's mouth dropped opened slightly as he listened carefully. I bit my lips and tried hard to keep myself from crying out.

"I miscarried." I watched Michael's reaction. I could see his heart was breaking into two as his eyes traveled down to my stomach.

"Only one baby died."

With that, I grabbed my stuff and ran out the room, tears pouring down hard and blurring my vision. I reached my car and when I just started the engine Michael ran out. I quickly sped off, seeing him fall to his knees in the re-view mirrors.