Speak Low, If You Speak Love

Christmas.

It was the season of happiness, blowout sales, and cookies. Drinking hot chocolate by the fire and chatting with family and friends were how evenings were spent. Decorating the tree and lining the stairs with tinsel just set the Christmas spirit. It was almost everyone’s favorite time of year.

But not for Jack Barakat. Christmas just reminded him of what he couldn’t have. And no, it wasn’t a new T.V, or a new car. You couldn’t buy this in a store or online. You couldn’t pick it out of a catalog or have it express shipped to you. This couldn’t be wrapped up in fancy paper with a festive bow on top. It was the girl Jack Barakat couldn’t have.

She was beautiful.

He didn’t know how else to describe her. Her long, flowing chestnut hair that just touched her shoulder blades. Her milky skin that looked like porcelain. Her big brown eyes that resembled small pools of dark melted chocolate. He didn’t understand how this sort of perfection was created. This was more than good genes. This was heaven sent.

He knew he loved her when he was ten years old. She had just moved in next door and his mother had told him to bring the new family a plate of cookies. He pouted about it until he saw her. She stood just under 4’7" and her light brown hair was parted down the middle, woven into two French braids. She had on a pink and white sundress and a pair of jelly sandals. She was clutching a torn and tattered teddy bear to her chest and she looked upset. Even through her red face and puffy eyes, he knew he loved her.

He knew he was in love with her when he was sixteen. It was the night of junior prom. He always knew she was gorgeous, but it wasn’t until then that he knew what gorgeous really meant. Her thick locks were pulled out of her face into a giant ball of curls pinned to the nape of her neck. Her dress was simple: a strapless, sage green number that was slim fitting and accentuated every curve she had. Her 5’8" frame made her look like a goddess. It wasn’t until she was announced Prom Queen that he knew he was in love with her. It was that jealous twinge in the pit of his stomach when the Prom King wrapped his arms around her that made him realize it.

He didn’t date because of her. He refused to let himself open up to any other girl because he knew that she would never live up to her perfection. He found ways to get by, but it still hurt seeing her on the arm of another guy; the same guy’s arm she had always been on.

It didn’t help when he flaunted her around. Like today, for instance. It was the annual Christmas party that had been going on since he could remember. Seven families that he had grown up around. Seven families that had children all the same ages. Children that Jack Barakat had been best friends with since forever.

For some reason, this year’s party was harder. Jack wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because he had never seen her look so beautiful. Her dark hair was neatly waved and her make up was flawlessly subtle. Her simple red dress hugged all of her curves and the smile on her face outshone the glowing fireplace.

Jack tried to ignore his feelings and mingled. He talked with his parents and his friends’ parents and casually sipped on eggnog. But all conversations came to a halt when one of his best friends raised his voice. “May I have your attention?”

Jack watched intently, his curiosity piqued. Alex Gaskarth looked nervous. To the point where he was shaking. Jack Barakat had always known him as the cool, collected front man of the band they’d been in since they were fourteen. This Alex was so out of character.

“I knew exactly what I was going to say last night.” He laughed nervously. “But I guess this is supposed to come out naturally, anyway.”

The whole room was reeking with confusion, but it all seemed to melt away when he turned to her.

“Elysa,” Alex said softly, cupping her hands in his. “I’ve loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

Jack could feel his stomach start to spin.

“You’re the only girl who could ever put up with my antics and it makes me love you more and more everyday.”

She was crying. Soft tears were welling up deep in her brown eyes. But those sad tears were contrasted by the wide smile perched on her lips.

“I can’t see my life without you.”

The whole room watched as Alex Gaskarth lowered himself to one knee, a small, black velvet box fell in his hands. He lifted the top and the sparkle of diamonds exceeded the Christmas tree's.

“Elysa Isabella Marino, will you marry me?”

Jack Barakat felt the room cave in. The walls were closing in on him and he felt light headed. This was seriously happening. Alex Gaskarth was getting the girl like he always did.

“Yes,” she squealed, jumping into his arms.

He needed to leave, but he couldn’t do it abruptly. He couldn’t make a scene because he didn’t want his little secret to come out. So, he sat his small glass of eggnog on the mantel lined with Christmas stockings and slowly walked over to the couch where a lone girl sat.

“Let's go.”