Wicked Rose

It had been three days since that first fight and dream and I had similar dreams every night after. Me and Ville, in the 50's or 60's I think, living together. The last dream I had that night I thought over as I cleaned the bar and waited for an order. I was pregnant, or at lest the girl in the dream was, even though I thought it was me it wasn't really. She was sweeter and more innocent than me, not that I couldn't be that way, but it wasn't my nature. She looked like me and she talked like me, but she was so most happier. She hadn't seen the horrible things I had.

I was wondering if I should tell Ville about them, I knew that there was something he wasn't telling me. Why he was so interested in me in the first place. Sometimes he looked at me like he looked at her in my dreams. Like he loved me so much it almost hurt to look at me. I didn't understand the first thing about love so how was I to know that for some reason, without even knowing me, Ville loved me and I was starting to fall in love with him. I was from a different planet when it came to love, so I didn't even know when I was starting to change from it. I knew I was changing, but it was so slowly and seemed so natural that I hadn't thought anything was different.

"You're glowing, Alice," Sami brought me out of me thoughts, I laughed and held my chest.

"Thanks, I've been feeling usually cheerful lately." Sami crossed his arms and nodded over towards the table where Ville was waiting, reading a book.

"Is it that new boyfriend of yours?" I actually blushed and turned the other way.

"Maybe, but I'm having second thoughts on him." Sami seemed too interested in this, he leaned forward and looked conserved.

"Really? He seemed like a gentleman to me, did he do something to you?" That dark defensive look over took Sami's face again and I held my hands up and shook my head no.

"Of course not, he treats me very well…I just…I've been hurt a lot Sami, by people who were suppose to love me more than anything. I've never had a relationship with any kind of love and all my interactions with dating have lead me to believe that over half the male race is complete scum that only want sex. Tell me how can I even tell if I'm in love when I'm so screwed up emotionally?" Sami breathed in and out in a sigh.

"Well, Alice, that's a hard thing to tell even if you've been given the world on a sliver plate. I'd talk to him about it, maybe if you think he wants to get more serious, tell him you need time and space to figure it out. You owe it to yourself to go in slow and to be comfortable with your partner. Be with someone because you want to be, not because you think, hey I'm getting older, I should get a boyfriend. If you love him, sooner or later you'll know it like you knew it all along. If you don't, " he shrugged, "Just keep on looking and don't give up. You're a beautiful, strong, lovely young woman who deserves a good man. Remember that Alice, not all men are scrum."

I just hugged him and thanked him for such sweet words. Sami really did care about me, or else he would have told me to leave him, even though I was only saying I was with him. I didn't know why I told Sami all this, guess because he was a good friend and there are so few of those in this world.

After I got off work, Ville and I existed the bar. I was digging through my bag for my wallet, I needed to go shopping for food, as we were crossing the street. Than, out of nowhere came a speeding truck, driving all over the road. I had no time to scream, no time to cry, not even time to blink when the truck slammed into me, sending me flying in the air. I rolled as I hit the pavement, I heard cracks but the pain didn't start until I was laying, crumpled like a old piece of tissue paper, in the street on my back. I couldn't feel anything below my waist. I could barely see, my eyes were hazy. My back, lower back, it hurt so much. My head pounded and blood, warm dripped down my forehead and over my right eye.

People yelled, the truck kept going I think…Ville was beside me, he wasn't even scratched even though he was hit first at a faster sped. If he hadn’t been in front of me I would have been in pieces, bits of me still stuck to the grill of the truck. He hovered over me, a fear so real on his face I realized just how bad I must have looked. He lifted his wrist to his face and torn into it with his teeth, blood came pouring out, a bit splashed on my face. He lifted my head and I groaned, he pressed his bleeding wrist to my lips.

"Drink! Drink! Please, Alice…" He cried, red tears streamed from his green eyes as he pleaded for me to drink his blood. I knew I was dying, my heart was slowing and blood was coming out of my mouth meaning I had internal bleeding. Would I be a vampire if I drank? I wish for a moment that I would just die already. Life was hard and painful, and I was in so much pain. The relaxing feeling floating over me was death and it was not scary and I knew if I chose to die that it wouldn't be so bad. Death was beautiful and peaceful, it was lingering between life and death that was so awful. Death seemed the smarter choice, the easier one.

"God damn you Alice, I love you! I can't lose you again, please just drink" Ville was full out sobbing, still trying to force his blood down my throat. He loved me? For some reason death didn't seem as sweet anymore and I opened my lips. Cool, thick, sweet, salty and so smooth covered my tongue and made me feel more alive than I had ever felt before. I latched onto his wrist and sucked, with each swallow I felt the pain disappear and my whole body tingled. I drank and drank, feeling his blood spread throughout every cell in my body, bringing me into a rush. Soon I became aware of the sounds around me and the look of ecstasy on Ville's face as I pulled on his veins. Did this feel good to him? Than it all went black and I fell into the deepest sleep. I dreamed of giving birth to a baby girl, Ville kissed me and I had never been so happy. I held our baby and cried for joy.