Harder To Love Than Blood

Not feeling hungry anymore, I pushed back from the table and headed back to the stairs. But I stopped as I saw DJ, still sitting in the same position, not even sure if he's blinked. I was about to keep going when DJ's voice called me back. "Can I talk to you?"

I turned to him and walked up to the side of his chair, keeping my distance.

"I'm sorry," he said, and he sounded tired saying it. "But we weren't the ones to drag you back here. It was a choice made by your...mother. And I was the only one who was informed. Don't take it out on Jonathan and Clive." He lowered his head, eyes closed, resting his forehead to his entwined fingers. "Clive was so young when you went away. He doesn't have memories of you. All he knew of you was pictures and stories. And Jonathan...well, Jonathan's never forgotten you. Neither have I." DJ finally raised his eyes to me and I was surprised to see them swimming with tears. "Please don't hold it against them. They didn't do anything. The orphanage thing..." His voice went lower. "I was the one who Gracie talked to about it."

"What?" I asked.

"She thought since I was the oldest, I had the most say of it. She wanted you gone and she said she'd either dump you off on one of her old friends or she'd put you up for adoption. Trust me, Amanda, you didn't want to go with her friends." His eyes were almost desperate. "They--they weren't too trustworthy when it came to young girls. Gracie was--she wasn't really in to the nicer crowds when she was younger."

My throat was a little dry and I had to swallow before I asked, "How do you know?"

He looked away, his eyes gazing at nothing in particular past the slowly darkening window. "When you were a baby, I spent a summer with Gracie. It...it wasn't something I wanted Jonathan to go through when he got old enough to go on vacation, too."

My chest was tingling, just this side of hurting. "Wh-what...why would they send you..."

"Mom and Dad didn't know. They thought Cousin Gracie was a sweet lady." DJ gave a harsh laugh, absolutely no humor behind it. "Right. Sweet lady." He shook his head, took a breath, and raised his eyes to me again. "I kept her away from Jonathan the best I could, but the orphanage was the best I could do for you. I'm so sorry." His voice was becoming choked with the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. "I'm so..." He stood, and with the same speed Jonathan used to get away from me, DJ pulled me to him, holding me tightly. More for his own comfort than mine--I was a long way from comfortable. "Please. You can hate me all you want but please, please don't hate them."

After a few, mind-racing seconds, my arms hesitantly rose, tentatively holding my oldest brother as he cried the tears of a child lost in the dark. I uselessly patted his back as he stood hunched over me, his face burying into the crook of my neck. He took in a few gasping sobs when his body suddenly tensed. I don't know what it was, or why I was feeling suddenly cautious, but I lowered my arms, readying to take a few steps away from him. His arms, which he had wrapped around me like I was the last solid thing keeping him here, suddenly felt like he was trapping me to him.

"DJ?" I asked, my voice unsure.

"I wanted you back. I really did--we all did," he said, sounding different, voice deeper. Menacing, almost. "You're warm...breathing...just like us. But you're not just like us. You're prey."

My body grew cold. Prey? "DJ, let me go." I tried to make my voice firm but it was still shaky.

Suddenly, DJ's hand gripped my shoulders, shoving me back arm's length. His head was down and his dark gold hair hung over, hiding him. "I'm sorry. It's too close to the--it's too close. I'm sorry." He then turned, pacing to the bottom of the stairs. "I'm older so I can hold on better. Jonathan's...okay. But Clive--he's still young. He'll try to keep his distance from you--"

"What's going on? What are you talking about?" I asked, voice almost frantic as I clutched my shirt collar against me. I was somewhere between scared to death and pissed beyond belief.

"It was a mistake to accept you so close to the time but Mrs. Springs was...I'm sorry. Just keep your distance from Clive until it's over. He's fine the rest of the time but..." DJ then turned, coming back to me. I took a step back and my reluctance to be near him sent a look of almost pain through his eyes. "I won't hurt you, Amanda." His voice was soft, like he was telling a lie that everyone knew was a lie but he didn't want to believe it was.

I snorted, wincing at the small exertion. "Tell that to my ribs," I countered. The ache rushed through me after the pressure of his arms went away. Now I could really feel where I was going to bruise.

"Amanda, I'm sorry, it's just that--We'll tell you when you're ready but right now, please. Just stay in your room at night. There's...wild animals out around here lately." Without explaining, he turned and ran up the stairs.

This family just seems to get weirder and weirder.

Now this is where my stubborn side struggled. I wanted to read my book and ignore the oddness of this family, but my book--along with all my other stuff--was upstairs. So were the guys. And I had no desire to be anywhere near them. So what else could I do to be stubborn? Why, go outside, of course. So off I went.

Going down the block to the corner and turning on Havana street lead back to East Sixth Avenue. On the other side was a gas station, public storage, some places to eat and other community buildings. I headed to the gas station to see what I could buy for snacking.

Twilight was already dimming down to dusk, darkening the sky and showing off stars that gaped from between clouds. There was surprisingly little traffic on such a busy road like East Sixth.

A cool gust of wind wrapped my hair around my face and neck. I had taken it down from it's pin before I took my nap. Now, soft prickles crawled up the back of my neck. There's wild animals out around here lately, DJ had said. I rolled my eyes at myself. Despite loving a good fiction story as much as the next head job, I was so not going to become paranoid with the thought that something out there was watching me.

I stepped one foot off the curb when a distant scream carried on the wind from a few blocks up.

Ok, so maybe a little paranoia never hurt anyone. I headed back to the house.

It took a few back-and-forth tries before I finally recognized the house in the dark. Most of the lights were off, including all the upstairs ones. Not even the porch light was on. Trying to convince myself that there was nothing out there but domestic animals and odd people--that the scream was just someone getting a prank played on them--I took my time walking up the sidewalk to the porch. The air was crisp and clear, the stars were bright when they weren't hidden, and the moon was close to being perfectly round. Maybe a day or two to the full moon.

The snarl of some big dog too close for comfort got me moving my ass back into the house in a hurry. I hit the door at a near run and jarred my shoulder when it wouldn't open. Slamming into a solid door unexpectedly is not as easy to handle as they show on tv with those desperate girls running from the ax-wielding maniacs in those horrid R rated movies. That was so not a pleasant thought seeing how I was the girl in question and my shoulder hurt like hell.

A deep, purring sound vibrated through the air around the corner of the house. As it drew closer, that deep vibration cut off into short bursts, sounding somewhere between a goose and a hog. I knew that sound, though only vaguely. But I knew what I was looking through when I came across that sound. I was on a National Geographic site, checking out some of the big cats.

My heart was slamming in my throat. "You have got to be kidding me," I whispered to myself huskly, pressing my body fully against the door as though I could melt threw. Hey, it worked for Kitty on X-Men.

Leaves ruffled as that sound drew closer to the corner of the house, icy fingers slithering down my spine. No, no, no, no! There's now way a wild big cat can be slinking around a domestic neighborhood like this. The ghost of a shadow stepped out from the corner and just as I was about to catch a glimpse of the big kitty that was going to eat me alive, the door pulled open so fast that it yanked me by the hand I still had gripped over the handle. I fell to the floor as the door swung close just as quickly as it had opened and large hands wrapped around my arms, pulling me up to my unsteady feet.

"Oh, God, Amanda, are you okay?" Jonathan asked, worry and sweat crowning his brow. "Are you hurt? Why were you out there? Didn't DJ tell you not to go out? What were you thinking?" He fired off the questions but his voice was a muffled thing with my pulse rushing through my ears.

Ignoring the questions, I asked one of my own. "What the fuck was that?" My voice was high and startled and I hated myself for that. My first day back and already I was acting weak.

"What did you see?" DJ asked from the stairs. I didn't even notice him. Was he there the whole time or did he just come down? And where was Clive? Hiding in his room, most likely.

"The freakin' Russian Circus; what do you think I saw? There was a huge freakin' cat out there! And not the cute little domestic kind." Okay, so I didn't actually see it but I know what I heard. They'd have to take my word for it. And from the grim set to their mouths and no protests, I had the aching feeling that they knew more than I did. "What the hell is going on around here?" I asked.

DJ took in a deep breath, then let it out. "I told you to stay inside, didn't I? I told you wild animals are out around here."

"But I thought you were just being an overbearing jerk!" It came out a bit louder and way more harshly than I intended.

DJ dragged the back of his wrist across his forehead. I didn't realize he was sweating almost as much as Jonathan. What was wrong with them? I was the one who was almost cat chow. I should be the one sweating.

"Maybe you should go to bed and calm down," DJ said. He was back to running his fingertips over whatever was closest to him.

"Calm down? Calm down?" They winced at my tone. But, dammit, I wanted answers now. "What the hell is going on around here that you dragged me into?"

Jonathan ran both hands down his face and sighed. "Please, Amanda, please just do what DJ said and go to bed. You'll feel better in the morning. Less strung out."

"What the hell is your problem? You need to call animal control or something." I could still feel the pulse at the side of my neck. I ran my hands through my hair, probably pulling some strands out from frustration. I was almost eaten! Probably.

"You need to calm down, Amanda," DJ said, and something in his voice made me look at him. His jaw was shaking like he was fighting to opening it...or fighting to keep it closed. His nostrils were flaring and his eyes were showing white. But his eyes were on Jonathan, who was just next to me.

A little too next to me.

I felt the tension in his body more noticeably than I've almost ever felt before in another person. The front of his body was slipping more solidly against the side of my arm. Like another scene from those cheesy horror flicks, I slowly moved my gaze from DJ to Jonathan, turning my head with it. His skin was flushed a deep shade while sweat dripped down his temple. His lips were parted and his expression was the same as DJ, right down to the wide eyes. But his eyes were lower than my face. And when I felt my pulse at the side of my throat speed up, his nostrils flared. He was panting like a dog that ran for too long in the hot sun.

My voice, when it came, was small and shaky. "Jonathan?" Then his arms were suddenly around me in a crushing grip. His nose was buried in my hair by my neck, behind my ear.

What was happening with him? Was he trying to scare me? Play games like he used to when we were kids? Did he see DJ do nearly the exact same thing earlier and thought it'd make a good joke? Either way, his arms tightened, crushing me to him. "You're so warm...so full of fear," he said, nuzzling his nose and mouth to me. He drew in a breath like he was smelling flowers. I felt his lips on my neck, wet and wanting right over my speeding pulse.

Then I finally grew feeling back in my legs and brought my knee up. Hard. Jonathan grunted and fell to the floor.

Stumbling back, I nearly fell to the ground if DJ hadn't caught my forearm, but I wrenched my arm out of his hand. "You're freaks," I spat at them, then gave a wide berth as I ran around them and headed up the stairs.