Please Let Me Remember You

A week had passed since my talk with Rick and every time I remember all that he said, I can’t shake of that feeling of..of..I’m not sure but is that..fear? Hate? Longing?

I’m not sure any more. Everything is happening so fast, my mind can’t keep up.

These emotions..I shouldn’t be feeling them. But how come I am now? I just don’t understand.

And what’s worse is that the dreams keep on making my head explode. It’s like my brain is trying to make me remember something. But what? What do I have to know?

Every night, I dream of that man. That man whose face I can’t see but his voice I keep on hearing. It’s like he’s keeping his face from me. But why?

And the tenants..these people..it’s like I know them. Every time I look at them, I can’t help but feel..nostalgic. Have I met them before?

Ugghhh!!! What’s happening to me? Am I going crazy?!

I let my head dropped in my hands and stayed like that for a while. I was in my room by the window again ever since I woke up and it’s already in the afternoon.

“I need a break.”, I mumbled through my hands.

So I decided to get out my room and walk out of the apartment. I just stood by the porch for a few minutes when my eyes caught the forest.

It has been a long time since my little ‘trip’ in there. I wondered if I can go back to that small clearing. It would be nice to see it again.

Finally, I decided to enter the forest again. If I could be a more careful, maybe I wouldn’t end up getting lost. Well I hope so...

After a few hours of endless walking, I finally decided that I am utterly, undeniably and stupidly lost..again. I hate myself!

I looked up the sky and realized that the sun was almost setting. It would be dark soon and I am so dead if I can’t go back by dinner.

“Well, this is just great. You are a genius, Lhia. First, you look like some crazy idiot just staring at your window, then, you got yourself lost in this stupid forest..again, and now, you’re talking to yourself like some deranged lunatic that escaped from a mental hospital. Genius, Lhia..genius!”, I muttered to myself sarcastically.

With a sigh, I decided to sit in the ground and think things through.

My chances are that either I can get back to the apartment if I walk again or if I am so unlucky that I would get myself lost even more. Yeah, right!

Ugghhh! I really hate myself.

Finally, I decided to walk again because it’s better than just sitting around and wait for the sky to fall on my stupidity.

It was getting dark and I almost can’t see the path I’m going through. But as they say, God never forgets, and unexpectedly, I found the small clearing that I was aiming for in this forest.

Although it was already night time, the darkness didn’t affect the beauty of the flowers filling the clearing. And how the stars twinkle at the night sky as the full moon hovers with them made the flowers shine with illumination. It was really amazing.

With a smile, I went to sit under the tree where I saw Jake sleeping. Surprisingly, that spot has the greatest view of the clearing which is great.

As I sat, I can’t help but think about all the questions I wanted answers from. So many questions, yet I can’t seem to find the answers. I tried but it looks like I won’t be given a chance to find it.

Would I ever find them?

I sighed in frustration and leaned my body backward at the tree in exhaustion as I gazed at the beautiful garden before me.

I am so tired from walking that I can almost sleep in here.

“Would they go looking for me?”, I whispered unexpectedly.

Probably. Maybe, Harold would realize that I’m gone since I didn’t help making dinner. Or maybe Rick and the others would since I didn’t annoy them like I usually do just to get some answers.

Or maybe, Jake would notice I’m gone since I don’t go bumping into him like I stupidly do so often.

Sighs..why did I suddenly think of Jake? It’s not like I’m his friend or anything.

But, then again, it would be nice to be his friend. Seeing him last time with a peaceful face made him look like a really good person.

Now, only, if he could look like that when he’s in front me, that would be so...

“Wonderful...”, I whispered.

“The night can be a wonderful sight.”

What?! Oh no! T-that voice again.

“Just look at the stars, they’re twinkling as though they’re dancing in the vast sky.”

Argghh!!! My head! I clutched my head at both sides trying to numb the pain.

“So, you don’t have to be afraid of the night, Lhia. It’s wonderful.”

Stop! Stop it! Please stop...

“And you don’t have to worry about a thing. I will always be there with you.”

I closed my eyes as I tried to make the voices stop.

“Always?”, a little voice of a girl said in my head. It sounded familiar.

Is that..m-mine?

“Always...”

And then like I’m in a dream, I saw the silhouette of the man that had been always haunting me in my head.

He was seating with me in this very tree as though we knew each other.

And he was looking at me with such tenderness and care, it made me want to cry.

I don’t know why I’m crying, but I am, and it hurts. It’s like I need to cry because I am so sad.
Why? Why am I so sad? Is it because of him?

I tried to reach out to the man seating with me in my dream but suddenly, he’s starting to fade.

No! He can’t! I still have to know who he is. Please, no!

But then, he disappeared. With that, I cried and cried, as though I lost someone so dear to me.

I cried through the night as I felt myself slipping into the darkness.

And then, I didn’t realize..I fell asleep...