Please Let Me Remember You

I looked at Jake showing no emotion at all. I don’t know if I should be shocked, scared, angry..I just don’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t even care about him being a vampire.

It’s his name...

It was so familiar that the sound of it made me felt something. But it was a feeling that I’d rather not feel.

His name..it..it..made me sad...

It seemed like I’ve been staring out a bit too long that I suddenly heard Jake asking me,

“Lhia?”

I blinked a few times and focused on him better. I realized I was frowning but I didn’t answer him.

“Are you..uhh..a-alright? Please..say something..anything...”

I closed my eyes for a while and took a deep breath then I said,

“Why did you take them from me?”. It was barely a whisper.

Jake was silent for a moment when he answered, “We have to.”

“By we, I’m guessing you, Rick, Luke and the others..you’re all vampires right?”

“Yes.”

“But then why? Why do you have to take them from me?”

He didn’t answer so I opened my eyes but everything got blurry. I didn’t notice that tears are starting to fall again. As much as I want to be strong, I couldn’t find to courage to accept all this.

“P-please tell me. W-why? What happened to me? I know you have the answers but why can’t you answer me?”

He looked down as though he was escaping so I held his head and stopped him. I can’t stand it any longer.

“Is it too hard for you to tell me? Is it that dangerous for me to know? Please just tell me. I’m begging you. I don’t..I..I just want..to know..please...”

Then weakly I dropped my hands and sobbed. He doesn’t know what it feels like to not know. To have you’re memories stripped out from you. It’s like you’re heart is empty. And it hurts..it just hurts so much...

And then suddenly, I felt arms holding me again.

“Please Lhia, don’t cry. I-I can’t bear to see you like that. Please just don’t cry.”

“Why would I? You’ve hurt me so many times since I’ve been here. Why would it matter you now?”. I was getting frustrated now.

“Because I care! It hurts me to see you like that!”, he said strongly.

“Then why? If you do care, why would you take them from me? My memories...”

He looked at me in the eyes and with one hand he brushed some of the tears from my face.

“Because it’s better for you not to know them than to lose you all together.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighed and hid my face to his chest. And I must be getting crazier by the minute, because I kind of..liked it..it felt right...

I must be losing my mind!!!

“I’ve known you even before you know me. It was 13 yrs. ago and you were still very young.”

“So I did know you didn’t I? Ha! I knew it.”, I said a little bit enthusiastically.

I felt a low chuckle from him which made me smile a little bit.

“Yes, though we did meet in a quite..hmm..well..awkward predicament.”

“Predicament?”

“Well, let’s just say, it’s not your ordinary meeting. You do remember I’m a vampire right? And well..we actually met here –in this very garden. You helped taking care of them you know.”

“I did?”

“Yes. Eliza, your grandmother, she made this garden. When you were young, you helped her tend this garden. Then one night, You were..and I was...”, he trailed off.

“What? What happened?”, I asked while looking up at him.

He looked at me hesitantly and said, “Well, that night, with your I-am-curious-so-I’m-gonna-do-it-anyway attitude of yours-“

“Hey!”, I interrupted with a light punch but he just chuckled making me smile a bit.

“As I was saying, you were young back then, maybe around 4 yrs old. And your younger self seems to like the night more which is rather dumb of you but rather..lucky of me.”, he said looking at me with..I must be really getting crazy because it looked like..affection.

He smiled at me and I can’t help but stare back at him. What is happening to me?

“At that time, you were wandering around this garden like you’re trying to find something. That’s when we met. I was..let’s just say..lost. And you were curious, as usual, so you approached me. I was beneath this very tree when you found me. Funny though, you were not scared when you did. It’s rather amusing.”

“When you were in front of me, you actually smiled like we’ve known each other though I didn’t return the same reply. So, you took some flowers and kneeled beside me. Then, you placed them in my lap and waited for me.”

During the whole time, I was actually seeing the same event happening like I was really there. I think my memories are starting to come back to me.

“When I did, you actually smiled widely then ran away. I thought you finally got scared but then a few minutes later, I saw you again but you’re holding something. A blanket and some food. When you placed them beside me, you smiled again and then left. I didn’t think you would actually come back the next day but you did and it had been like that everyday until eventually Eliza finally find out about me. By then, both of you kind of took me in.”

Then, he was silent for a moment and when he looked at me, he has that teasing look in his face.

“Didn’t you mother ever teach you not to sneak out at night and to talk to strangers?”, he asked in an amused tone.

“Hey! I don’t even remember any of that!”, I pouted making him chuckle.

“But what happened after that?”, I asked seriously.

“As the days passed, I decided to stay with you for a while. But when you were 6 yrs. old, something happened. I was out of town to do some business. Yet still trouble seems to find you where ever you go.”, then he stopped.

I looked up at him and saw that his eyes look rather menacing..like he’s restraining himself.

“J-jake?”, I asked nervously. He glanced at me and then away.

“Sorry. It’s hard to feel alright when I’m telling you this. I can still see what he tried to do to you.”, he replied shamefully.

I took his hand and squeezed lightly which is really new to me because I haven’t been this close to him like this until now.

“Don’t worry. I understand. Just tell me as best as you can. I really want to know.”

He nodded and continued, “You were by the garden again. It was Eliza’s birthday the next day so you decided to make a bouquet of flowers for her. You wanted them to be fresh so you went at night to get them. Unfortunately..someone was there. Someone of my kind.”

He paused and took a breath maybe trying to calm himself but still I can see his clenched fists.

“He wanted something from you. Not money. Not food. But you..you and your blood! I almost..I didn’t think..damn..he almost killed you! If I haven’t..if I haven’t gotten back in time then he would have..damn..just damn...”, he muttered trying to calm himself.

So that’s what happened. What I heard back at the apartment was true. He did save me.

“Thank you...”, I whispered shocking Jake. I smiled at him to let him know I mean it.

He smiled back which by the way he does so many times now but I must say, it suits him better than being grumpy all the time. I think we’re finally being in good terms with each other.

We were silent for a moment when something that I heard back at the apartment bothered me.

“Jake, can I ask you something?”

“Hmm?”

“Umm..what..w-what do you mean..when you said..that we’re..bonded?”