Please Let Me Remember You

We left the apartment with Jake still holding my hand. He didn’t even looked at me as we approached the forest.

“Jake?”, I started. But still he wouldn’t answer me.

He just walked and walked as he pulled me with him so I settled in waiting wherever he’s taking me.

When he finally stopped, I looked around and saw that we were back in the clearing. We always end up here, don’t we?

He let go of my hand as he approached the tree where I first saw him. He sat down and patted the space at his side for me to sit on.

I didn’t move for a moment because I don’t know why we’re here.

But then again, he always has his reasons so I sat down with him but didn’t get too much close.

He was silent for a while that I thought he would never talk to me so I picked 2 flowers and started twirling it together. Then, I picked another and another until I realized I made a crown made of various flowers.

I must have been so busy making it that I didn’t notice Jake watching me the whole time.

When I looked back at him, he was looking at me with a smile in his face. I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about what I am doing so I looked down to hide my blush.

I heard him chuckle beside me making me more embarrassed at myself. I am such an airhead!

Then, I felt him take the crown that I made. It made me looked up to him. He was looking at intently with an amused look in his face.

“You know, you’ve always been good in making this kind of things.”, he said.

“I am?”, I said in a very surprised tone. He nodded without taking his eyes off the flower crown.

“How so? I don’t even remember..oh..right...”, I trailed off. He nodded again still not looking at me. And even as he returned the crown back into my hands, he still wouldn’t look at me.

I looked back at it and without realizing, I placed it on top of his head. He stiffened when I did that as his widened eyes looked at me. I am as shocked as he is because I didn’t even know what made me do that.

We were silent for a while when I blurted out, “It looks kind of cute on you...”

When I realized what I said, I slapped my hand to my mouth and blushed so madly that I couldn’t look at him in the eyes.

What did I just say?! Oh God, what is wrong with me? Am I losing my mind so fast that I am starting to talk nonsense now? Oh God, just put me in the mental hospital or something.

Then, I heard laughing. I looked up and saw Jake laughing..at me! That is so not good.

“Hahaha! Me? Cute? Hahaha! That’s not..I mean..that can’t..hahaha!”, he said as he tried to control his laughing.

I bit my lip as I tried not to lash at him for being a jerk again. Ugghh!!! Why did I have to say that anyway?

I let him laugh at me till he got tired of it and started calming down. All the time I was glaring at him for laughing at me. It wasn’t even funny.

We were staring at each other for a while with me glaring at him in anger and him just composing himself from his laughing fit.

Then he asked suddenly in a very serious tone, “Are you happy?”

I gave a quizzical look. What is he talking about?

“Are you happy? Being here? Being with us?”, he asked further.

I was stunned for a moment. His question caught me off guard. Why is he asking me this kind of question so suddenly? Is it because of my relatives or something?

He looked like he wanted me to answer him truthfully. Like it mattered whatever I say to him.

“Of course, I am. I’m happy that I get to stay here. I’m happy being here with all of you. I’m happy.”, I answered in all honesty.

He looked at me with a serious face and said, “That’s good. That’s..very..good...”, then he looked away.

I waited for him to say more but he didn’t.

“Umm..is that all?”, I asked. He glanced at me but then looked away again. I was getting frustrated at that.

What is wrong with him? Is he being bipolar or something again? What is he trying to say?

“I’m glad. That you’re happy.”, he finally said not even answering my question.

“I am happy, Jake. Why wouldn’t I be? I got myself a real home. A place I can call my own. I got Harold who’s been taking care of me since I’ve been here. I got Rick and his infectious humour, Tyler and the twins treating me like I’m their sibling, even Luke who tends tend to be annoying sometimes, but still treats me nicely.”, I answered further.

Then, I was silent. I can’t continue what I want to say next. Because I’m not even sure if I should.

“Me? What about me? Aren’t you happy to have me?”, he asked the one question I was dreading to answer.

I was silent for a moment, trying to form the right answer to his question. I couldn’t even look at him as he stared at me with such intensity that I can’t help but finally answer.

I let out a long exhale as I said shakily, “When I first met you, you were such a jerk to me and I didn’t even know why. We always end up snapping at each other that I’m not sure if we ever get to talk normally. But as the days passed, when I found out about my past as well as all of you, you’ve changed. But the funny thing is, even if you didn’t change, I am still happy that you’re here..by my side...”

“Ironic isn’t it? The least person I was expecting to be so close to me when I first came here turned out to be the very person who would help me when I really need it. Thank you..Jake. I’m so happy I got you.”, I said with a genuine smile on my face.

I waited for his reaction but he just looked at me like I just slapped him or something. I got worried because I’m sure I didn’t say anything bad about him.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smiled again at me like that.”, he said still in shock.

Then, with a smile of his own that made me utterly stunned, he said, “It’s beautiful.”

It was then that I felt something. Did my heart just skipped a beat?

I looked down at my chest and placed my hand there as I examined myself. What is happening to me?

I looked back at him and almost screamed when I saw his hand reaching out to me like he wanted to touch me. I didn’t know why but I suddenly got nervous..and scared...

So I left..I left him there..with his hand still reaching out to me..and I didn’t even looked back..because..because...

Because I think I’ve fallen for him...