Don't Make This Easy, I Want You to Mean It.

Breakfast was unbearable. I couldn't handle looking at either of the boys sat around the living room eating cereal and watching cartoons with me, nor could I handle looking at the confusion and pity in Marissa's eyes. I was staring at the cup in my hands, not even bothering to pretend I was watching SpongeBob with the others. The awkwardness in the air was apparent to everyone, and I couldn't wait to get out and (I couldn't believe I was thinking this) to school, where I could pretend nothing was wrong. By the time my cup was even half empty it was time to leave. I'd have left early, but I couldn't find a reason besides escape to go earlier than usual. I knew that the lessons I had with Jack and Alex would be ridiculously uncomfortable, and I was suddenly too conscious of how many lessons Jack had with me, only now finding it pointless to be with him so much.
For the first time in ages, Marissa rode in the car with me alone, Jack and Alex were taking Alex's car and claiming they'd meet us at school. Marissa babbled on for the entire ride. I nodded along, making comments at appropriate moments, though my mind wasn't on it at all. I couldn't get the fight out of my head. I couldn't place what had caused the pair of us to blow up so badly, when only 24 hours before that we'd said we loved each other (though admittedly we were both drunk and Alex didn't hear my reply). Perhaps that was the reason why, perhaps it was something else entirely - all I knew was that however mad at him I was, I still wanted it to be him telling me that everything was okay, and that I had done the right thing.
"Jasey, wait," Marissa sighed as I pulled into a parking space outside school and made to leave the car. "I heard you and Alex last night, and I saw the two of you this morning. Are you okay?" I shook my head, plastering a smile onto my face as I looked at her.
"I'm fine, seriously. It's nothing big, it'll all blow over soon." She looked at me sceptically, pondering whether to let it go or not, before sighing and nodding, pulling on the door handle and getting out of my car.
Far too soon I found myself alone at lunch, apple in hand, looking on at the group across from me. I had stopped myself joining my own friends that lunch hour, the laughter coming from them making my gut churn. Would this be what it would be like every single time Alex and I fought? Would I not be able to go talk to my own friends while he was around for fear I'd ruin everything? Kara spotted me sat on the bench alone, nudging Jack and nodding at me. He looked at me for a moment before looking down. I couldn't even begin to fathom why he was so angry, and it hurt me almost as much as Alex and I not talking. Jack had been there through all of it, through everything I didn't like to talk about - he was my best friend, and he knew it all. To lose him would be like losing a duvet on a cold winter's night - life would go on, but I wouldn't have my usual comfort.
"God, Jasey, lover boy leave you all alone?" I sighed as I heard the voice, knowing fine well who it was, along with knowing I didn't want a damn thing to do with that person.
"Go away, Frank," I stated, eyes not leaving the tree under which my friends and boyfriend sat. He sat on the bench next to me, far too close for comfort.
"You know what, I don't think I will." I turned to face him with raised eyebrows.
"You realise that tiny thing in your pants can become amazingly painful for you with next to no effort from me, don't you?" Ever cockily, he laughed.
"Come on, Jase, you and I both know you wouldn't do a thing to hurt me. Pleasing me, on the other hand, I'm sure you'd do without a single regret."
"You mean besides scrubbing myself for days afterwards? You actually, physically repulse me, Frank."
"Come on, one last time. For old time's sake?" His hand make his way to my knee, getting higher and higher before I slapped it away. I couldn't believe him. The middle of school, in broad daylight, right across from my boyfriend and he's coming onto me?
"Leave me the fuck alone," I growled. Once more, he laughed. "I seriously mean it. Back off."
"Or what? You'll slap me? Please, like you could do anything to stop me."
"I think you'll find the girl told you to back off, Gel," a smooth voice said in front of us. My heart rate sped up as I looked at him.
"Or what? You'll slap me? You're no better than her, Gaskarth. You don't scare me." His hand rested back on my knee. I attempted to push it off, but his grip tightened. He was doing all this to piss Alex off, make him rise to the bait, and it was working.
"Get your God damn hands off my girl."
"My girl first, Gaskarth," he smirked.
"Get your hands off my girl," Alex repeated. I could see his fists tightening. I knew what was coming, and I knew there was no way to stop it. Frank wouldn't give up, and Alex wouldn't let any of this drop. The both of them were in too deep now.
"Make me."
Alex was the one to throw the first punch, though it did no more than make Frank falter for a second or two. Frank was soon the one on top of things, literally and metaphorically. I knew he'd been waiting for this for far too long. It took too long before I realised that there was a crowd forming around the pair - before I felt someones arms around me as I cried, watching Alex getting beaten up by Frank for me. I was pulled closer into the figure's chest as Rian and some others pulled Frank and Alex apart, his chest blocking the scene from my view. The shirt he was wearing was wet, but the scent was familiar.
"Jack," I whimpered, "it's all my fault. I didn't mean to, but he wouldn't leave me alone and Alex got angry, and- and-!"
"Shh, Jase, he's going to be fine. Everything's okay." I continued to whimper into Jack's chest until someone came over and pulled me away from him, Jack letting go readily for this person.
"Calm down Holly, it's fine, everything's fine. I'm okay, there's nothing wrong with me," Alex cooed, rubbing my back gently. I'd never broken down this badly before in public, and I'd be embarrassed if I wasn't so worried about Alex. I looked up at him through my tears, taking in the red marks all over his face, some forming bruises already. Behind him, I could see a group of five guys, made up of Rian and a lot of Frank's friends, pushing Frank back and making him leave.
"You can't say that! Look at yourself! It's all my fault!" I cried, doubling up in tears again, and clinging onto him tightly. I felt like every other girl in the world right now - I was no longer Jasey Rae, the girl who didn't let anything get her down. All I was now was another girl scared for her boyfriend. I wasn't Jasey Rae right now, I was just Alex Gaskarth's girl and there was no changing it.
"Jasey Rae, look at me," Alex demanded, pushing me away from him and looking right at me. "This is not your fault. This is me and Frank, you couldn't do a thing to have stopped it no matter how hard you tried. It was going to happen no matter what."
"He only started this because of me! If we weren't together you wouldn't be hurt right now!"
"Don't you dare, Holly. Don't you fucking dare." He grabbed my face, pulling it up so I was looking at him rather than the spot on the floor I had trained my eyes to previously. "Don't make this your fault. I chose you, and I will carry on choosing you until you get sick of me, okay? What happened today was worth it if it means I can keep on calling you mine."
"Don't be mad at me again, Alex. Please, I hate it," I whimpered, bringing it back around to our argument to stop myself from saying what I wanted. Right now I wanted to tell him I loved him, no matter if it was in front of everyone. I wanted him to know and for everything to work out like it did in the movies, but I didn't dare. I was too scared to let the words out.
"I'm not mad, Hols; things got out of hand and we blew up too much. We're okay if you're okay with me," he told me. Everyone but a select group of girls that idolised Alex and our friends had gone by now, the girls sticking around in the hope that they now had a chance with Alex and everything between us wasn't going to be okay.
"I'm okay with you," I told him, hugging him once again. I felt him smiling against my neck before pulling back.
"And I'm sorry I started this, Jase. I was in a bad mood," Jack told me, smiling sadly.
"You're not mad at me?"
"I never was," he chuckled weakly. "How could I ever be mad at my Jasey Rae?" I grinned, letting go of Alex completely and jumping on Jack.
"Love you, Jack Attack!"
"Love you too, Jase." Jack buried his head into my hair and whispered another sentence to me not meant for anyone else to hear. "I know what he told you in Vegas." I pulled away quickly, though slow enough for it to look natural and shot him a look. I couldn't place the look even though it was my own. It was a mix of confusion and shock. Jack's expression didn't change, so no one else was aware anything had happened. I placed a grin on my face like before and mentally shook the thought from my head, turning back to the rest of my friends.
"You three are such dweebs," Rian stated, looking between Jack, Alex and myself.
"Suck on it, Dawson," Alex stated.
"Oh, shut up you two. Alex, come with me, I'll find you some ice," I told him, laughing. He grinned, taking my hand as we walked to my car.
Ditching school was so much more fun anyway.