Don't Make This Easy, I Want You to Mean It.

I laid my head on the glass of the van. It was weird still thinking about Holly - usually girls walked in and out of my life without so much as a goodbye, and I didn't miss a damn one of them. She came along and tipped it upside down. The year wasn't out just yet; summer had been and gone with no one but her on my mind. Jack and I had long since forgotten our plans to lay as many girls as humanly possible. He'd lost his to the bliss of the girl of his dreams, I'd lost mine to thoughts of the girl I'd wanted to keep for the rest of my life and what I'd done to make her leave.
It was cold in the van, Rian and I the only ones still awake, him driving and me faking sleep. I didn't need to hear any more on how I needed to be over Holly, if it were that simple he knew I would have done so already, but yet he insisted on telling me over and over. Reminding me that there were other girls out there for me - girls I didn't think I would ever want. We were driving around near Los Angeles when I gave up feigning sleep, I just hoped Rian would leave me be for the night. I flipped open the screen of my phone and logged into Twitter through force of habit. I was so addicted to this site it was unreal, even if not many people used it, I liked the fact I could send pointless messages to whoever I wanted. Sure, I could do the same on MySpace, but Twitter held a strange appeal to me. I shifted in my seat, my butt going numb from being sat on for too long in the exact same position. Rian glanced back at me for a moment, checking which of us had "awoken" and flicked his gaze back onto the road. I checked my mentions and grinned as I saw the message from Marissa.
@AlexAllTimeLow I found her. She's in Tempe.
I couldn't remove the grin from my face as I typed back. I would have emitted a squeal, but I knew it would cause unwanted attention from the rest of the guys. Attention that would result in pain for myself for waking them up. Sure, they'd be glad I was going to find my girl, but then again, they liked their sleep. Well, that and they were all bitter over 'what she'd done' to me.
@DearMaria count me in.
My phone buzzed soon after, Marissa's name flashing on the screen. My heart wouldn’t slow down to a normal pace, and my grin still hadn't faded. I couldn't remember feeling happy like this in such a long time. All I knew was how close I was to getting my girl back, or at least giving myself closure on the whole situation.
"Maria? Is it really her? Is it my girl?" I breathed excitement clear in my voice.
"Yeah. Tempe, Alex. You're only a couple of hours away from her," she told me. I could hear just how happy she was to have located her best friend after all this time - Marissa wanted her back as much as I did, it was an obsession that had brought the two of us together and left Jack irritated on the sidelines whenever we set off on one of our attempts to locate her. "I didn't think she'd go. She mentioned it to us once, remember? When we were in Vegas?"
"Yeah," I nodded. I could have slapped myself. How could I have forgotten her telling me that? It was clear we both felt like fools for this, the both of us had forgotten something so small that had held us up for so long in finding her. Marissa had my ever long gratitude for this, for finding her.
"Alex, I have her address right here in my hands. God, I can't believe this. I want to come out with you," she sighed.
"I'll bring her home, I will. Then you can have as much time with her as you want. We'll all be back together again," I laughed. It was the first real laugh I'd let out in so long. "Just give me the address and I'll go. It'll be quicker if I don't have to wait for you, and you know it." I felt the van slowing, I knew Rian had been listening to the conversation, and I knew he didn't approve, but I also knew he wouldn't stop me going off and chasing her if it's what I needed to do to be happy again.
"Yeah, are you sure the guys will agree though?"
"If they don't I'm going alone." Marissa chuckled.
"Put Jack on?" I agreed, shaking Jack awake and handing him the phone. His smile lit up when I told him it was Marissa.
"Alex, you can't go," Rian sighed, after he'd pulled over to the side of the road.
"I need this, Rian. You know I do," I told him, shaking my head. "I need her."
"What if this makes it worse?"
"I just need to know why she didn't tell me all these things. Why she left without a goodbye and cut us all out. I understand ignoring me, I just don't understand why she didn't say anything to Marissa, or Jack. Her best friends, Rian."
"You're going with or without our help aren't you?" I nodded and he sighed. "You drive, I'm going to sleep. We don't have a show for the next two nights anyway." I grinned.
"Thanks, bro." The two of us swapped seats and I changed the directions on the sat nav, putting in her address.
"Alex, is it true?" Jack asked, sitting up front behind me and putting my phone down on the seat beside him. "You're really going to go for Jasey?"
"Yeah..." Jack was silent after that. All of us were. Zack was in for a shock tomorrow when he woke up in Arizona.
"This is it, Alex. 1111 East Apache Boulevard," Jack said, pulling up besides the building. He'd forced me to get some sleep early this morning and hadn't given up the driver’s seat to me since.
"She doesn't seem to have done badly without us," I laughed, not feeling it at all. Maybe she was better off out here without us?
"Dude, we just drove all the way out here, you are going to see Jasey. I'm locking you out of the van until you do," Zack stated, nodding at Jack who started pushing me toward the door on my side of the vehicle.
"Alright, alright, I'm going!" The three grinned at me and wished me luck - I was going to need it. I shut the door behind my, wringing my hands as I walked toward the building that housed her apartment. I started wondering if she'd moved on by now, what boy she would have sharing her bed with her on a night. She could do better than a sloppy band boy that can't keep it in his pants when he needs to. I knocked shakily on her door, heart at about bursting point. I tried to flatten my hair, running my hands through it to make myself look less of a mess and more like I used to. The way she used to like, no, love. I still couldn't believe she hadn't told me that.
"Okay, I'm getting the door! Shut up!" A male voice laughed. My heart sank. She had moved on. "Uh - hello?" A tall, brown haired boy asked, opening the door as I was about to walk away. He still had a crooked smile on his face from whatever he had been laughing about with Holly. I knew she found those absolutely adorable. He had everything she ever wanted, and I had nothing on him. He was probably even a better singer than I.
"Um - uh - hey?" I replied meekly. I was losing my nerve. I'd driven all the way here to see a girl who didn't want to know me, what was I thinking? "Is this Jasey's apartment?"
"Who are you?" He asked, eyeing me weirdly.
"Alex," I half smiled.
"Will you come back here already? I need to finish this!" A female voice shouted. My heart beat even harder, I was so sure that was her voice.
"Is that your girlfriend?" I asked, pretending it was mere curiosity that had caused me to ask. He nodded.
"Yeah, it is." My heart sank; I knew it. I kept a small smile on my face. "But she's not the Jasey you're looking for. That's not her name. I think you got the wrong address, man. Or maybe she was the old tenant, I don't know. Sorry to disappoint. Sounds like you came a long way," he told me, noting my accent.
"Baltimore," I grinned. "But no worries. I'll figure it out again another time, I'm sure she can't be that hard to track." He nodded and the both of us bid each other farewell, him returning to my - no, his - girl, and me to my best friends in the van awaiting me. I shook my head once again; my heart felt like it had torn itself apart all over again.
Jasey Rae had truly gone now.