Seasons.

My knees were pushed against my chest. I sat on the chair against the wall at the back of the room, behind the table that Taylor sat at counting some money from the merchandise. Carson had left not to long ago to go get some water for the guys and Jess when they got off stage. They were amazing by far. Most bands suck when they’re live - well a majority that I’ve seen, and their good. Real good.

I began to laugh in the middle of their second song, noticing that John gets sweaty quicker then most people. I mentioned it to Taylor and he said that it’s a lot worse when it’s scorching hot outside and he plays a show. Apparently John doesn’t shower that often either, so I couldn’t even imagine what the smell coming from him would smell like.

“Alright guys. . .” I could hear Brian trying to catch his breathe. Everyone crammed into this small bar was streaming their heads off. The sweat dripping from all of them, hitting each other or landing on the ground. The heat coming of the crowd was insane. “This is our last song of the night. It’s called Close To Me.”

I’ve never heard this song; I’ve heard all of the other songs, but not this one. I watched over the people as best as I could and Brian began to jump around the stage. “We’re going to shake, shake ’till the break of dawn,” He sang into the microphone - John, Brian, Stephen and Josh all moving and dancing around the stage like they owned the place.

Jess was in the back on her drum set, the sweat dripping through her bangs. Her headphones were secure on her head as she pounded that drum set. I noticed that most of the fans here were guys. Well, there’s both sexes here, but more guys then most shows. I’m guessing there’s guys here because there’s actually a girl in the band, unlike most where it’s all girls there for the hot band guys.

“Get close to me. I wanna get you on your feet, and moving with me. I’ve been waiting on you, and I’ll stand still ’till you’re coming around.” Brian sang into the microphone. He stopped singing and all the music stopped. Everyone started screaming. “Thank you guys! We’re The Summer Set. Be sure to come to talk to us after the show and go and buy some merch to support us. Goodnight!”

I watched through the crowd as Carson walked closer to the table. Taylor turned around and smiled at me. “You should go and talk to John before a bunch of little twelve year old girls start to swarm him.”

“Does he get to caught up or something?” I asked.

“Well,” Taylor shrugged. “Let’s just say that a lot of girls like to talk for a long time. And the nice person that John is, he doesn’t just leave them there. So you know what I mean.”

Carson had five water bottles in his hands. He set some of them on the table and looked at me. “Jord, can you bring some of these with me? I can’t carry all of them.”

“Yeah.” I nodded getting up from my chair. I walked around the boxes of shirts and walked around the side of the table. I grabbed two of the water bottles from the table and followed Carson even though he was half way through the crowd now. I don’t know why, but me and Carson aren’t as close as we used to be. I mean, before we talked all the time before. And for some reason I’m getting the vibe that he’s a little pissed off at me or something in that range. I sighed, walking through all the sweaty kids, trying to catch up with Carson.

I looked back, noticing that Taylor was standing up now, and giving some shirts to girls and taking money from them. Most of the kids were still in the crowd though, waiting for the other band to look forward. I noticed that some of the tech’s were setting up the stuff for the next band and taking The Summer Set’s stuff off of the stage. The band was helping too though, because it’s their stuff and they know where it goes.

I looked around, wondering where Carson had gone. I looked at the backstage entrance and the man in front of the door looked down at me. I turned around, him looking at the shit ass laminate that I got for tonight. He nodded and moved out of the way as I walked through the dark little hallway, coming into a bright room.

Around the room were boxes and guitars. Everything you’d need to put on a good show. I looked around the room, seeing Brian walk by quickly near the back into a room. I sighed walking quickly. I wanted to catch up with him to see where this room was. I tried not to bump into things, but it didn’t work that well. Some people looked at me oddly, and I could feel my face beginning to get hot. Most of the people were attractive boys from other bands.

I noticed Jess walk out of the room and smile at me. “Jordan, you can come in here!”

I walked quickly over to her so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. When I stood in front of her, she took a water bottle from my hand quickly and began to chug it. I’m guessing Carson didn’t give her one first? What an asshole. I shook my head, walking into the room with Jess. I wondered who’d run up to me, begging for a water.

I walked into the room and Stephen sat there on the chair rubbing his head on the other side of the room. He looked over at me and his eyes hot wide open. He got up from the chair and jumped over the couch. Stephen basically crashed into me after running across the room. He pulled the water bottle out of my hand and chugged it back just like Jess did.

“Don’t you guys have water on stage?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Brian nodded. “But we drink it all.”

Stephen took the water bottle out of his mouth. “Yeah, and Cars was slacking off and didn’t put our water right there when we got off stage. Fucking asshole.”

“Sorry,” Carson shrugged. “There’s just so many hot girls here keeping me distracted.”

Jess sat up on top of one of the tables in the room and sighed. I don’t think she likes the fact that Carson has to have a new girl every minutes. Or at least he’s been talking about girls a lot lately and I’m pretty sure he knows that Jess has a crush on him. I don’t know what’s up with Carson, I really don’t. I need to figure that out.

“It’s so hot in here,” I sighed. “Fuck.”

“I know,” John nodded. “Want to go for a walk outside, to get some fresh air?”

“Fuck!” Josh laughed. “That was so lame. Right out of a cheesy romance movie!”

Jess busted out laughing. “Cheesy romantic idiot!”

John got up from the chair and looked around the room. He walked over to the table that Jess was sitting on and unzipped the bag that was on there. John was practically sweating bullets. I stood there awkwardly against the door as he pulled a shirt out of the bag. He pulled off his shirt, and I couldn’t help but to look.

“John!” Stephen whined. “Jordan’s looking at your bod!”

John turned around and smirked at me. “It’s alright.”

He pulled the shirt over his head and chucked the sweaty one on the floor. He pulled some body spray out of the bag too and sprayed a lot on him so he didn’t smell like after show sweat. I watched as John put it back in the bag and zipped it back up. He walked across the room and notified for me to walk out first.

“One second. . .” John said as he walked past me.

He walked over to a pile of things and picked up his guitar case off the ground. He held it in his hand and nodded at me. I don’t know why, but I’m becoming addicted to Johns smirk. He seems to do it a lot and it’s something that I love seeing. When he does it, it doesn’t make me feel bad. It’s not like the sneers and dirty looks that make me feel hate inside like at school. It makes me feel loved.

John’s other hand was un occupied, so he decided to occupy it with mine. We walked across the big room with the bright lights until we came to the big black exit doors. I pushed open the door and John and I walked out of the venue. I noticed that it was a lot darker out and the coldness was coming. I smiled to myself.

We walked across the pavement not saying one word. I could hear the guitar case hitting off of John’s leg. I noticed the van across the parking lot, it was not that far, but farther then the rest of the vans. I kicked the rocks in front of me, not saying anything. I loved the fact that this wasn’t awkward at all. It was a comfortable feeling that chilled up my back, and I loved that feeling. It was like a rush that I’ve never had before.

“You’re cute. . .” I looked over at the sound of John’s voice. He was looking down at me as we walked closely beside each other with our hands intertwined together. “I mean, I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

“I think I can take it.” I giggled.

“Well,” John shrugged. “Mostly all the time I say that girl is hot, or sexy because of her body or what I know she’d do to pleasure me. In a sexual content obviously. Cute shouldn’t be the word, more like beautiful. And the way you pleasure me, isn’t sexual at all obviously. It’s just your presence. I like that a lot better.”

“You want to know something John?” I asked him with a smile.

“What’s that?”

“That wasn’t cheesy, and you’re not an idiot.” I replied. “Just romantic.”

“Yes!” He said loudly. John laughed noticing that, that came out and he didn’t want it to. “Sorry, but I’m going to tell Jess this and rub it in her face.”

“Hey,” I laughed. “Just because I don’t think it is, doesn’t mean she won’t.”

John pouted looking away from me, but I could see the smirk drawing on his face as he looked forward. We stood there in front of the van. John let go of my hand for a moment, pulling the keys for the trailer out of his pocket. He set his guitar case on the ground and unlocked the trailer. He picked up the guitar and I opened the trailer door a little bit more so he could walk into it.

I stood there in the darkness of the parking lot, feeling my arms becoming cold. John walked into the trailer and I couldn’t see him anymore. He was in the darkness of the trailer. I could hear a banging noise, wondering what he was doing in there. He appeared in the door of the trailer, laughing under his breathe. “I should bring a flash light next time, I don’t know why, but I always do that.”

“Smart one.” I smiled.

John hopped out of the trailer and locked up the trailer. I don’t know what he was doing but he walked around the trailer and to the van. I could hear the front door open, but I didn’t follow him. I didn’t want to seem like the clingy kind of person that follows someone they like around everywhere that they go, so I just stayed put.

I moved away from the trailer a bit so I could see what he was doing. The only thing that I could see was the door open and Johns head stuck in the passenger seat. The only part of his body that I could see was his butt and his legs. He popped his head back up and tried to get out of the van. When he stood up straight, I noticed something in his hand.

John backed up from the van and shut the door. He locked the van and turned around. “You look a little cold.” I looked down at his hands to see a sweater. I’m guessing it was his or one of the other guys. “It’s my lucky sweater, so you better not do shit to it.”

“Ou,” I laughed. “I think I might give to Brian. He could do some fucked up shit to it to get back at you for all the times that you’ve made fun of him.”

“Fuck no,” John shook his head. “Do you know what he’d do to that?”

“Exactly why I said I would.” I smiled. “But, I’m kidding. Calm down Johnny.”

“I am calm.” He laughed.

“Awe,” I cooed. “You don’t have to be angry. Come give me a hug.”

I was doing this to piss him off. I know Brian is the one that gets pissed of the most easy in the band but John is dead second. I love watching Josh and Stephen piss him off and he gets so angry over the dumbest things. He smirked though. Fuck, John and that smirk. He moved his legs slowly as he walked towards me. Before I knew it, his hands were on my hips and my arms were around his neck.

I dug my head into his chest, smelling the cologne that he had put on earlier before we left the venue. It smelled amazing. I could feel his thumbs circling my back. I liked that fact that he just held me tight and made me feel safe. It was not one of those hugs when most guys just go right for the ass, and nibble off someone’s neck. It was a hug that was almost better then a kiss. I liked John Gomez’s hugs.

John pulled away from the hug a little, but not far enough to look at my face dead on yet though. I thought he was just going to pull away from the hug completely but he held onto me tightly still. “Jordan,” I could hear him saying in my ear. “I need to do something. It’s not the fact that I want to, it’s the fact that I need to. . .it’s been getting to me and I can hardly take it anymore.”

“You do whatever you want,” I breathed. “You only live once, so you might as well take some chances. I don’t really care what you do. It’s better or worse.”

John’s arms weren’t only tight around my waist anymore. I could feel him shaking. Not only were his hands were shaking, it was his torso too. I could tell that that John was nervous and I didn’t understand why he would be. I should be more then he is. I could see his eyes now, as he pulled away from my neck and looked at me.

At first he bit his lip but then it turned into a smirk. I could see his eyes flickering. I’d look at his eyes and back down. But when I looked up at again, he caught me with his eyes. It was like he was pulling me in and I couldn’t get away. I wanted to choke on my breathe. I wanted to scream because I knew something was going to go wrong, but it felt better with the person being John. I didn’t understand why though. It was a mystery.

This was the point of my life that I’d be telling my son or my daughter when I’m older. I’m going to be able to say that my first kiss was with a boy in a band that I first felt that I could actually date in my life. And then they’ll make fun of me for having my first real kiss at such an old age. I don’t care though, I’d rather it be now with John, then any other time.

Our noses touched first, and I could feel John breathing on me. I could see his smile from the bottom of my eye. Into the kiss, I could still feel that smile. I noticed something that this moment. John was smiling all the time. I was smiling around him, all the time. We were a pair full of smiles. Laughter’s and no anger. A pair that was kissing and it wasn’t awkward. It felt more then right.

I could feel him tugging on my bottom lip. It was weird because I thought I didn’t know what I was doing, but in the midst of it, I felt like I’ve been kissing John my whole life. I deepened the kiss and he just moved his hands from my waist to caress my face. I did what I thought I should do because I saw it in the movies. I put my hands around his head and he deepened the kiss even more before pulling away.

He looked down at me and smiled one more time, still holding onto me for dear life. “You have to promise me something Jordan,” He breathed out. “Never leave Arizona.”