You Promised

“Hey! Over here!”
I looked up to see two men waving at me. One of them must be Vincent. That’s the name of the man I’m supposed to meet. He’s one of the members of my other band. Bob told me about them. Leathermouth. I’ve also seen some photos, but I guess we weren’t that much famous yet because I couldn’t find many. We had also realised a CD. We called it XO. I can’t wait to meet these guys. Actually, I can’t wait to meet anybody, I don’t really care who, just new people. I’m tired of the memories the ones I know bring me.

Gerard, he gave me a letter. He said he loved me still, even after what I did. I don’t know what I feel right now. I’m confused. For the first time I remember I’m thinking about what right and wrong to do. Thought I don’t think there are many others that I don’t remember.
I think I love him too. I guess I always did, but the alcohol always made me forget it. How could anything make me forget I loved the most amazing man in the whole world? That’s the only thing I’m sure of right now. I don’t need to remember all the people I meet to know Gerard is better than them all.

I’m afraid too. I’m afraid if I come back too soon I won’t be ready for what is waiting for me. I’m not sure what’s waiting for me. I know Gerard is, but how long will he wait? How long until he finds someone better? That wouldn’t be hard so I guess it won’t take long. What I know is that he won’t find anyone that loves him as much as I do.

What a weird way to show someone you love them isn’t it?
Beat them up and tell them they’re worthless whores.
I’m an asshole. That doesn’t even starts to cut it. What I did… There are no words to describe it, no ways to forgive it. Maybe he’ll be better without me. He said he had gotten over it, that he had forgiven me, but I don’t believe it. I’m not saying he’s lying either. At least not to me, but maybe to himself.

“Hey man!” One of the guys shouted over the noise and stepped closer to hug me. I was a little taken back at first, no, I was taken back all the way through it. He realised me from his embrace and looked at me weirdly. “What’s wrong?”
“Hum… I… Don’t be offended, but… ahm…who are you?” I asked.
“Oh!” He shouted hitting himself on the forehead. “I forgot! I’m sorry it must have scared you. I’m Vicente.” He said pointing to himself. “And this is Andrew.” He pointed to the guy next to him.

“Hum… Hi.” I said a little unsure.
“Hey.” Andrew smiled at me. “It must be really weird to you. Don’t remembering your life and all…” Andrew said as Vicente took hold of my bags.
“Yeah. It is. But maybe it was a good thing. From what I was told, I used to be a jerk.”
“Who was the fool that told you that?” Vincent asked as he looked for his car keys.
“My ex.” I shrugged.
“Jamia?” Andrew asked.
“No… I haven’t even seen her.”
“Then who are you talking about?”
“Gerard.” I said matter of fact. Vincent that had found his car keys dropped them. Andrew looked at him for a moment and then at me with wide eyes, Vincent following.

“Gerard Way?” Vincent managed to ask. I nodded. What’s the fuss about? Oh, I know what the fuss is about! They thought I was straight! “You’re gay?!”
“I guess…” I whispered. I guess Vincent was the first to recover from the shock.
“Since when is Gerard gay? Since when are you gay?” He asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t remember. I guess I have been in denial for quite some time and then just plenty decided to hide it.”
“You didn’t need to.” Andrew said patting my back. “We don’t mind.”
“I kind of figured that out since I noticed I wasn’t getting hurt.” I smiled. They laughed.

We all got in the car. I was in the back seat, Vincent was driving since it was his car and Andrew was in the passenger seat.
“So what have you remembered so far?”
“Sincerely… Gerard.”
“Do you like, still like him?” Vincent asked.
“That’s pretty obvious isn’t it?” I asked kind of hoping he would tell me it was totally normal to only remember your ex when you lose your memory.
“Yeah, it is pretty obvious.” He told me. “I mean, Gerard’s… I don’t know. He leaves the fans totally high, as if they had just had the best orgasm ever. That’s gotta mean something.”
“That’s an interesting way to put it.” I said. I really didn’t need to be remembered of Gerard.
“Is he like… good?” Vincent asked.
“Good in what?” I asked confused.
“You shouldn’t be asking that. It’s private.” Andrew told Vincent. He just ignored him and kept going.
“You know. In bed.”
“I don’t know! And even if I did I wouldn’t tell you.”
“Are you telling me you never…” He trailed off clearing his throat.
“I guess we did.” I shrugged. “But I don’t remember.”
“You’ll probably end up not liking your answer.” Andrew advised him. He just ignored him again.
“Are you telling me you didn’t remember doing anything with him?” He insisted. “Nothing at all?”
“Listen the only thing I can tell you from what I remembered is if I’m good giving head. You got it? So don’t ask!” I told him firmly. He made a gagging nose.
“I told you so…” Andrew sang. I guess he liked being right.
“Now, let’s talk about something different.” I said. “Tell me about Leathermouth.”