You Promised

“So, Frank…” Jamia trailed off. I didn’t really care about whatever she was going to tell me, but if I was rude to her she would go running to Vincent. He’s not the one I have a problem with, she is, so I kept my mouth shut and listened to what she had to say. “You and Quinn are together?”

“Yes.” I said making an effort to close my mouth after I said the only thing I needed to not so seem rude.

“Why?”

“Why?” I repeated.

“Yeah. Why? Why are you with him?”

“Because I like him.” I said putting enface in ‘like’.

“God, you can do so much better.” I repeated that I had to be nice over and over again in my mind. I decided to ignore what she said just to be safe and make sure I don’t say something I really want to say and that she won’t like to hear. “What is it that he has that I don’t?” She asked getting ever closer. I sat further away from her making sure not even one part of her was touching me.

“It’s different.” I said. I, as amazing and highly improbable as it sounds, was still trying not to be rude. It was getting harder every time she opened her mouth. She came closer, this time I couldn’t get further away as we were coming to the end of the couch. I was about to get up so I could get away when she caught hold of my t-shirt pulling me back, even closer to her.

“Tell me, what is it that he has and I don’t?” She repeated. If you could see the anger rising inside of me you would be able to see it rise during the rolling of the conversation and right this moment you would see something exploding in the top of my head. That’s when I got really angry.

“Seriously? You wanna know? I’ll tell! I’ll fucking tell you!” I said rising form my seat and away form her.

“Yeah, tell me! What is it?”

“A Fucking dick! A cock! Whatever you want to call it as long as I get to have it up my ass!” I shouted at her in the moment Quinn came in the room looking confused at my out burst.

“What the fuck are you talking about Frank?!” Vincent shouted coming in the room.

“I would tell you but you wouldn’t believe me so why bother? Hum?” I asked still in my angered state and ran to my room, taking Quinn by the hand not really caring if he tripped as long as he got there alive so he could comfort me when I calmed down.

I opened my bedroom door forcefully and walked in throwing myself on the bed and burying my face on the pillow while I counted until ten to calm myself down. Letting out a big sigh I lifted myself and looked at Quinn that was still on the door step.

“Are you going to explain?”

“This whole shit is pretty damn self explanatory, no?” I asked. Maybe I should have counted until twenty. Though I can’t seem to show my anger towards Quinn, because there is none, I can still feel it inside me.

“Well you should know I’m not the smartest person ever.” He smiled getting inside the bedroom closing the door. “Now, tell me, what were you talking about?” He asked calmly sitting next to me.

“That…” I stopped early in my sentence to find a name that would suit her. “That whore was trying to…” I closed my eyes in disgust. “She was shamelessly flirting with me.”

“What?” He asked. He heard it but he though he hadn’t because what I was saying was just too surreal. Yeah, I know, it made no sense. The bitch was with Vincent and he was totally in love with her. What’s up with her anyway? She liked him just fine before she saw me.

“You heard me. She was flirting with me.” I repeated. I’m not over reacting, or being a drama queen when I say I want to wash my tongue after saying those words. And as I will be in the bathroom I might take her with me and drown her in the bath, slowly and painfully…

“Why are you smirking?” Quinn asked taking me out of my fantasies. Shame they are only fantasies and that I would probably go to jail if they weren’t.

There should be a law when people wouldn’t go to jail if the people they killed were proved to be totally bitch faces, assholes and motherfuckers.

“Frank!”

“What?”

“What are you thinking about?”

“Illegal stuff… You know, the usual.” I told him waving it off with my hand. He looked at me funny for a moment.

“You are kidding right?”

“Kinda.” I shrugged.

“I don’t wanna know.” He whispered shaking his head.

“Frank?” He called. “Are you really gonna think about going to the wedding or did you say it just to shut us up?”

“I already thought about it.” I said trying to make it sound as if what I had said wasn’t a total lie. “I’m not going.”

“Why not?”

“You know why? Do I really have to explain it all over again? And don’t say it again! You’re not right! You’re wrong! I’m right!” I shouted trying to make my point across. Shame he’s just as stubborn as I am.

“No you’re not! You’re not always right you know? You’re wrong!” He shouted back pointing on finger at me.

Why does he care so much anyway? It’s not really his business, not his mother, not his mother boyfriend and not a marriage related to anyone in his fucking family. He’s just trying to show how much influence he has in me, well, fuck him.

“I’m not going just because you want me to!” I shouted being louder than him. “You do not control my life!”

“Now I’m controlling your life?! If you think I’m controlling you should leave me then! Maybe you could go back to Gerard! He sure as hell wasn’t the one in control in the relationship!” He screamed and ran out of the room.

I could hear Vincent voice downstairs but I couldn’t understand what he was saying, neither did I tried. I was still trying to make sense of what he said.

He wasn’t supposed to hate me. He said he didn’t. Maybe he decided to think better and he hates me now. That’s not fair, or maybe it is. I can’t decide. Maybe it is just as fair as it isn’t fair. Like 50/50.

No… He sure doesn’t. He can’t.

I’m sure he didn’t mean that.