You Promised

The next morning I woke up with a good feeling. I got dressed and walked to the kitchen to have breakfast.

“Good morning.” Vincent said. He was already at the table eating.
“Good morning.” I smiled and sat at the table next to him.
“Aren’t you hungry?” He asked. I chuckled.
“Yeah, and I would be making myself some food if I knew where anything was…” I explained.
“Oh! I’m a disaster with people that lost their memory. I keep forgetting it.” He said getting up, but sat down again when he noticed me laughing. “What?”
“I’m the one that’s supposed to forget.” I explained.
“Oh… Well, what do you want?” I looked at what he was eating. Cereals.
“Cereals are okay.” He nodded and started explaining to me where things were kept.

I stopped listening two minutes after; my mind was kind of in another place. A very different place.

New Jersey.

That’s also where my heart is, but not necessarily in New Jersey, it would be anywhere in this fucking world, as long as Gerard was there.

I sighed. I need to let him go.
“Frank?”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Thinking about lover boy?” He mocked. I nodded.
“Yeah.” I admitted. He smiled.
“Call him.” He said patting my head. I shook my head. “Why not?”
“I can’t. It’s a long story.” He sat down again.
“We have all day.” I smiled but shook my head.
“I can’t.” He sighed but nodded.
“Okay.” In that moment the phone rang. He got up to pick it up and signalized me to wait. I guess this conversation won’t be over so soon…

“Quinn’s coming over in the afternoon.” He announced as he came backing the kitchen. By that time I had already finished my cereals.
I gave him the empty stare. He looked at me confused and then understood.
“See what I mean?” He asked moving his arms around. I smiled. “Quinn Allman. I guess you don’t remember. He’s from The Used. I think you toured with them once… Yep! I’m pretty sure you did.” I tried to remember, but I couldn’t. I didn’t even know why I tried. It only comes to me randomly. “From what I remember you were pretty good friends with him…” He trailed off unsure. “Well, the guy does adore you. I’m sure of that.” He smiled and moved our bowls to the sink.

I had finished getting dressed after a shower when the door bell rang. I walked to the living room to see Vincent with a boy. He looked up and ran to me.
“Frankie!” He squealed hugging me. I’ve already learned to hug back when others do, even if I don’t remember them. “How are you?” He asked. He looked pretty excited to see me. I guess we were good friends.
Vincent came in my rescue.
“You see Quinn… That’s what I was telling you… He lost his memory.”
“What? Like lost, lost?” He asked looking between me and Vincent.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“So he can’t remember me?” He asked biting his lip.
“Hum… No. What if you told me a little about yourself, see if I can remember anything. It happens sometimes.” I said shrugging. Quinn nodded and took me by the arm to the couch. We sat next to Vincent and he started telling me about when we met. We toured together and that’s how we met. From what he told me since our first talk we became good friends.
“I remember this particular night from the tour. Everyone was pretty drunk. Gerard and Bert were pretty much humping each other on the couch.” When he said that I felt like a knife had just been stabbed in my heart. This is such a cliché line, but it’s truly the way you feel when you get heart broken.

Me, Ray and Bob had just arrived to the The Used Bus. They were having a party. Well not really, but there was a lot of booze so it was almost the same. Mikey had decided to stay on the bus. He said he needed to sleep and that he was tired.
Whatever you call it Mikes.

Gerard was already there. He practically lived on the fucking The Used bus! On the fucking Bert McCracken’s bus! So what if I was jealous? Gerard as been behaving like a fucking drug addicted whore! And he might even be an addicted but he wasn’t a whore. It made me sad to know he was acting like something he wasn’t. But I was kind of happy as long as he didn’t send himself to hospital again.

When I walked in the bus the first thing I truly noticed was Bert and Gerard making out on the couch. I should be waiting for this, but I wasn’t and it hut even worse.
I turned my face away so I wouldn’t cry. I’ll just pretend I didn’t see a thing. Pretend Gerard’s on our bus right now, talking with his brother about some geeky thing they like.
“Hey Frankie!” He scared me because he came from nowhere.
“Oh, hey Quinn!” He hugged me.
“What anything?” He asked.
“Anything as long as it makes me drunk.” I couldn’t help but ask. It was too tempting to just forget.

“Hum, Vincent… He just zoned out on me…” I heard Quinn say.
“Oh, don’t worry; it happens all the time… I guess… He’s just having a flashback.” I opened my eyes to see one pair of really dark brown eyes staring back.

“Are you oaky?” He asked. I nodded.
“Yeah, just, I remembered that night.”
“Oh. That’s good, right?”
“Yeah.” I really wanted to say that no, it wasn’t, that I was freaking jealous of a man I don’t even know and don’t remember to have ever seen in my life apart from on that night.
“That night you got pretty wasted. I had to ask Bob to carry you back to your tour bus because he’s bigger and stronger than me. So how have you been?” God, this guy talked too fast.
“I don’t think I should have given him coffee.” I heard Vincent mutter to himself. I laughed

“What?” Quinn asked.
“Nothing. Tell me more. How long was it since the last time I saw you?” I asked. I wasn’t just being nice to him, I actually liked him. Like deep down in my heart I knew he was my friend, my brain was the only one that wouldn’t understand it.
“I don’t know, it’s been a pretty long time… Maybe some months. I remember going to one of your concerts.” He answered. “A Leathermouth one. Talking about Leathermouth, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be home back in Jersey?”
“Yeah, but I wanted to change airs... See if I can remember anything else but G- New Jersey moments.” I corrected myself. I didn’t know if he was homophobic. I looked at Vincent and he nodded mouthing ‘Tell him’.

“Am I missing something?” Quinn said looking between me and Vincent.
“Hum sorry… It’s just… Ahn… I’m gay.” He looked at me with wide eyes and then burst out laughing.
“You almost got me with that one!” He said punching my arm lightly.
“Hum, Quinn, I’m not joking.” I insisted seriously.
“What do you mean? You’re gay?”
“Yeah.” I confirmed.
“Oh… I wasn’t expecting that.”
“No one ever is.” I said. He looked like he was taking it all in for one more moment and then, just came out of it and hugged me.
“I’m happy you decided to tell me.”
“Me too, Pooh lips.” I said smiling.

“What did you call me?” He asked letting go of the hug. I missed the heat; I was getting pretty used to the hugs, they were nice.
“What did I call you?” I asked not remembering what I had said. Fuck what had I said?
“You called me by my old nickname.” He said smiling.

“Oh yeah, the nickname.” Vincent said annoyed. “The fucking annoying, embarrassing, queer nicknames you had for each other.”
“Oh, I just seem to remember people’s nicknames randomly.” I explained.
“Hum… What was lover boy nickname then?” Vincent asked smirking. I remembered Bello and Doll instantly.
“It’s not your busyness.” He pouted but didn’t ask more.

“You were Puppy pot, by the way.”