Use Somebody

It was the night before Abigail's second therapist meeting and she was feeling a bit nervous. At her last session she just barely scratched the surface on what happened with her and she was scared to talk about it more. When she was sure everyone was sound asleep, Abigail snuck out of her room quietly and tip-toed down the stairs. She just wanted to sit outside for a few moments- breath some fresh air.

But just as she was about to exit through the back door of the house, it swung open and Jordan appeared on the other side. He gasped and clutched his chest, caught off guard by Abigail's presence.

"You scared the shit out of me," he told her, shutting the door behind him and placing his keys on the kitchen counter. He walked over towards the fridge and grabbed a water, shutting the door and then turning to face Abigail who looked like a deer in headlights.

"What're you doing up? It's nearly two in the morning," Jordan commented glancing down at his phone.

"I was just going to get some fresh air," she mumbled, rubbing her arm absent mindedly. Jordan sipped his water and then smiled at her.

"Mind if I join you?"

Abigail found herself shaking her head no before she even realized what she was doing. It wasn't that she minded having Jordan around, it was just at that moment she would have pushed anyone away. But now she had told him it was okay for him to be around her and she was too scared to tell him otherwise. So Jordan grinned and began to walk back towards the door, opening it and letting Abigail walk through before following her closely.

"Here, this way," Jordan said, nodding towards a huge tree on the other side of the house.
Abigail trailed behind him and once they got to it, she noticed a blanket already set up underneath it. "You're not the only one who likes fresh air," he told her when he say her eyeing the blanket oddly. Abigail simply nodded and took a seat. Jordan sat down as well, but not very closely to her; he had noticed she didn't take well to human contact.

The pair was quiet as they looked out onto the vast land of the Staal farm. There was a light wind and the moon was shining bright. It was something Abigail wasn't used to for she had spent her whole life in New York City. She never got to see the moon, or the stars. Being in Thunder Bay was a good change of pace for her.

"Where were you tonight?" Abigail wondered out loud as they sat there. Jordan looked over at her, his eyebrows furrowed. He was confused by her question, but answered it anyway.

"Out at a bar with a few friends," he said. "Why?"

"Just wondering," Abigail said softly.

She wondered if she would ever be able to go out to a bar again. She wondered if she would be able to go out on dates or have fun. She was so scared she'd be stuck like this forever- hating the world and shuddering at the thought of a man touching her. She envied Jordan for his carefree life-style. She wished she still lived hers so badly it made her heart ache.

"Do you wanna maybe..come sometime?" Jordan asked, wondering if she was just looking for an invitation.

"No," she replied simply. "I was just wondering is all."

Jordan nodded and they spent another hour outside without speaking before going back to their respective rooms and falling asleep. When Abigail woke up the next morning she put on the same black dress she wore to her last appointment. She decided she would wear it to everyone she had, it was her way of being in control of the situation. She was no longer in control of her emotions or happiness and wearing the same thing every time she had to talk about said emotions made her feel like she had a grasp on something in her life. She ate breakfast and then spent a few hours with Marc, she felt like she hadn't seen him in a long time.

"So how is everything?" Marc asked before she left for her appointment. "Are you feeling any better?"

Abigail and pursed her lips and looked down at her hands, "I suppose," she said. "I'm not okay, but I guess I feel a little better than I did when it first happened. I'm not better though," she insisted honestly. Marc nodded and smiled at his friend.

"That's good," he said. "I really hope these sessions help you Abs," he continued. "All I want is for you to feel better again."

"I know," she nodded solemnly. "Thank you Marc," she said. "For everything. I've never had a friend care this much about me. You're whole family is amazing."

Marc smiled softly at his friend and went to go hug her, hesitating a bit before seeing Abigail smile and nod. Abigail wrapped her skinny arms around Marc and felt safe. It was the first hug she had given a boy since she had gotten raped and she was surprised to find it wasn't as bad as she thought. But she knew had she been hugged by anyone else her skin would be positively crawling.

"Abby, you ready to leave?" Jordan yelled from the kitchen.

"Yeah," she responded letting go of Marc and pushing herself up from the couch.

"Abs," Marc called just before she disappeared out the front door. She turned around and looked over at Marc with a confused expression, and he just smiled. "Good luck," he told her.

Abigail Franco smiled widely and meant it for the very first time in about a month as she stood in the front door of the Staal's house.