Use Somebody

Abigail didn't mind working on the farm that afternoon. She didn't mind she sweat profusely and smelled horrible by the end of the day. She didn't care that her arms and legs ached like nothing she'd ever felt before when the sun finally set. She didn't care that she was covered in a thin layer of dirt or that her hair was matted and knotty beyond all belief when she finally stepped into the shower that night. She didn't mind any of these things because for the first time since the night she had been raped, she didn't think about it.

As Marc passed her grass seed, or as Jared taught her how to drive a tractor, or as Jordan helped her water the sod, or as Eric directed her around all she thought about was the task at hand. She didn't think about his hands touching her thighs or his mouth on top of hers.

She thought about sod and dirt. She thought about how funny Jared looked squinting and driving the tractor. She laughed when Jordan and Eric got into a fight about who could lift more bags of grass seed. She lived in the moment, and only that moment.

And it was wonderful.

But as soon as she stepped into the shower that night before dinner, as soon as she looked down at her naked body- she thought about it. All of the memories came to her at once, hitting her like a train, and she stood in the shower and cried the entire time.

Once she stepped out of the shower, she dried off quickly and immediately dressed herself. She wore a plain black tee shirt and a pair of light wash skinny jeans. She didn't want to see her skin. She wanted to wear layers upon layers of clothes, but the summer heat was preventing her from doing so. She felt disgusting again and all she wanted to do was sleep. However, she had promised Linda she'd be down for dinner and she wasn't about to back out on that promise. Especially after all Linda had done for her since she got to the Staal's house.

So after she dried her hair a bit and found that she looked presentable enough for dinner, she ascended the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Linda was making pasta while Jordan, Marc, Eric, and Henry sat around the TV watching a baseball game. Jared was noticeably absent from the scene Abigail remembered him saying something about him having a date that night.

"You look lovely Abigail," Linda told the young girl upon seeing her. Abigail blushed deeply and looked down at her feet.

"No I don't..." she said shyly. "I just threw on a tee shirt and jeans."

"And you look great," Jordan's voice chimed in as he trotted over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. She unscrewed the top and took a long swig before letting the bottle leave his lips so he could smile down at Abigail. She blushed an even deeper shade of red and shifted her weight between her feet uncomfortably.

"Do you need help with dinner or something..?" She asked uneasily.

"I'd love if you'd help me chop some tomatoes for the salad," Linda smiled.

"Yeah, okay. I can do that," Abby mumbled mostly to herself as she walked over to the counter and grabbed a knife. Linda handed her the tomato and she began to chop it carefully. They worked in silence for a while and when she was done with the tomato, she began to slice a cucumber.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be right back," Linda called as she left the kitchen. Abigail nodded mostly to herself and continued to chop. She blinked and suddenly felt his hands on her hips, getting ready to violate her. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and when she opened them again, the hands were still there. She looked down and realized she wasn't imagining, these hands. They were the real deal.

"You really do look great," a hushed voice whispered into her ear. Abigail let out a loud yelp, and jumped thus cutting her finger with the knife she had been chopping with.

"Oh God," she said, closing her eyes and begging the tears not to fall though she already felt them leaking out of the sides of her eyes.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Abs," Jordan told her quickly, letting go of her hips and grabbing her finger to examine it carefully. Abigail ripped her hand out of his grasp and held it close to her chest, letting the blood seep through the cloth of her black tee shirt.

"Is everything okay in her-oh gosh Abby, are you okay?" Linda asked in one hurried breath. She rushed over to the small brunette and grabbed her bleeding hand, looking over it lovingly. "Jordan go get some hydrogen peroxide and a few band-aids, hurry!" She yelled at her son. Jordan looked at his mother and then back at Abigail, his eyes confused and sad. Abigail turned away from his eyes quickly. She looked back down at her bleeding finger and all she could do was cry. Cry for feeling so helpless, cry for feeling so stupid, cry for crying again.

She watched the blood slowly seep out of her veins and at that very moment she just wished she would bleed until she ran dry of blood. She just didn't want to be around anymore, and that was probably the most painful thought that had passed through her mind that whole month.