We're Inseperable

Nick and Kevin stood silent in Kevin's dressing room. The older boy had tears in his eyes that were threatening to spill over. The younger boy's face was unreadable, stubbornly refusing to cry. "She's just a cover, Nicky. You know that," Kevin said softly to his young lover. Nick's face didn't change hearing Kevin's words.

"You don’t have to marry a cover," Nick said. Although his face was unreadable, Kevin could hear Nick's pain in his voice. Kevin didn't know what to say, but it turns out the Nick wasn't done. "She's not a cover anymore, Kevin," Nick said, his pain starting to break through his mask. "You're just a fucking coward and she's your shield. A wall that you can hide behind because you don’t want people to know the real you."

"No one knows about you," Kevin pointed out.

"I'm not the one getting fucking married to someone I don’t love!" Nick said angrily. Kevin briefly worried that someone would hear him. After all, they were at the church and who knows who could be walking past. But he wasn't worried enough to ask Nick to leave him. Nick looked down as tears finally pooled in his eyes. "I told mum, dad and Joe yesterday," he whispered. Kevin froze.

"A-About...us?" he whispered and Nick's head snapped up and he glared at his older brother.

"No," he said. "I know you don’t want anyone to know about us. I told them about me."

"Nicky," Kevin said, stepping forward. Kevin hated seeing Nick so upset when he was usually so together. Nick just stepped backwards away from Kevin.

"Don't worry about me, Kev," Nick said, making Kevin's heart falter slightly. "You better get ready; you're getting married in less than an hour." Kevin glanced at the clock on the wall and knew Nick was right.

"Nick," Kevin tried again but Nick walked towards the door.

"I'm not staying," Nick said and more tears gathered in Kevin's eyes. Kevin needed Nick to be here, to help him do this.

"Please-"

"You can't ask me to stay to watch the man I love commit his life to another. You can't!" Nick cried as tears now freely ran down his cheeks.

"I love you, Nicky," Kevin said softly, trying to make sure Nick knew that. Kevin waited for a response, but Nick only shook his head and then walked out of the room. Once the door shut behind Nick, Kevin's tears came fully and streamed down his cheeks.

Kevin had been raised a devout Christian. Ever since he could remember, he had been living by Christian beliefs. And so when he turned 14 and realised he was gay, Kevin panicked. He kept it a secret, scared of his parents reaction to something that goes against everything they believe in. And then, when Kevin turned 18, he was disgusted with himself when he realised he was in love with his younger brother, who was only 14. Kevin refused to admit, even to himself, that he was in love with Nick, and so dated other girls. However, when he was 19, he was forced to comfort a sobbing Nick late one night. As his older brother, Kevin was, of course, concerned about Nick and had asked what was wrong. Nick's answer forever changed Kevin. "I love you," he'd said.

Kevin shook off his memory and forced himself to change into his tux. There was knock on the door and Kevin turned, hoping, praying, that it was Nick. The door opened and Joe poked his head in. Kevin smiled weakly and turned back to the mirror, where he had been inspecting himself. "You alright, Kev?" Joe asked, already sensing something was up with his brother. Kevin just shrugged and Joe frowned. "Do you know where Nick is? Mum's looking for him," Joe said, thinking he was changing the subject. Little did Joe know that Nick was what was wrong with Kevin.

"He's gone," Kevin said softly and Joe frowned again.

"Gone? Gone where?" Joe asked and Kevin shrugged.

"He just left...about 10 minutes ago," Kevin said.

"What!? Why!?" Joe cried. How could Nick leave Kevin on his wedding day? Kevin didn't answer the question, but turned round to face Joe. "Kevin?" Joe asked, clearly worried. Kevin rarely cried, but he had tears running down his cheeks. Joe closed the door and moved forward quickly and took Kevin into his arms.

"I didn't mean to hurt him," Kevin whispered as he wrapped his arms around Joe, just needing someone to comfort him and to listen. "I would never hurt him."

"Kev, what's going on?" Joe asked and Kevin squeezed his eyes closed.

"I love him, Joe," Kevin whispered and Joe stiffened. "And not in the way I should. I love him so much."

"Then...then why are you marrying Danielle?" Joe asked, confused. He wasn't shocked by the news Kevin had just given him – he'd suspected something for years.

"I'm scared," Kevin said softly and Joe sighed and rubbed his back softly.

"I know you are, but...think about...them for a second," Joe said, trying not to sound like he was calling Kevin selfish. "Think about Danielle. Do you think she wants to marry someone who is using her because he is scared? And think about Nick. Do you think he will get over you deserting him?"

"I-I'm not!" Kevin cried, but he knew it was true. Kevin was a fucking coward, just like Nick had said. And Kevin was selfish, just like Joe had said. He was leaving Nick on his own, to face what he himself had been too scared to face. Kevin pulled away from Joe and went back to the mirror. "I can't get out of this now, Joe. I'm stuck," Kevin said as he straightened his tie.

"No you're not and you know it," Joe said and then walked out of the room. Kevin sighed, knowing Joe was right.



Just over half an hour later, Kevin was standing at the front of the church, with Joe and Frankie beside and behind him. There was a space in between them that had been reserved for Nick should he turn up. Kevin knew he wouldn’t turn up.

Minutes later, the organ started playing a familiar tune and Kevin turned and saw Danielle walking up the aisle. Kevin smiled slightly, knowing that was what people would expect him to do. And, to be honest, Danielle was beautiful in her white dress. She just wasn't Nick. Kevin glanced at Joe, who smiled reassuringly at him. He took a deep breath and she finally reached him. Kevin smiled at her. True, Kevin didn't love Danielle, but she was still a good friend. Kevin bit his lip and then they both turned to face the priest, who was about to bind them together. Kevin barely listened throughout the opening prayer or to anything else that was said. His mind was on Nick. How could he do this to him? Kevin knew he was punishing himself, sentencing himself to a miserable life... But he was doing the same to Nick. How could he do that? "Do you, Kevin Jonas, take Danielle Deleasa to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, till death do you part?" the priest said, snapping Kevin out of his thoughts. And then, Kevin did something you should never do when asked that question. He hesitated. And to everyone gathered there, his hesitation was just as bad as him saying no. Kevin frowned and turned to Danielle sadly. She was gazing at him, confused.

"I'm sorry, I can't," he said and then walked down the aisle and out of the church. Everyone inside the church was in uproar. Danielle was crying. However, Joe was trying very hard not to smile.



As Kevin walked along the beach, an hour later, he pulled off his tux jacket and dropped it to the ground. His tie followed. Then his cufflinks. He undid the top 3 buttons of his shirt and his cuffs and rolled up the sleeves. Now he just needed to find Nick. He strolled along, his eyes desperately searching for Nick. Kevin had predicted that Nick would come here, the first place they'd kissed, but he couldn’t seem to find him. But Kevin kept walking. He finally got to the end of the beach, where the sand turned into cliffs and caves. Kevin didn't hesitate before going into the cave furthest away from the beach. The sanctuary where Kevin and Nick had first made love.

Kevin's stomach churned as he walked inside and then flipped when he heard sobbing. "Nicky...?" Kevin whispered and he heard a soft gasp and a shuffle. The sobbing immediately stopped. In the dark, Kevin couldn’t see Nick as his eyes hadn’t yet adjusted, but he was sure that Nick could see him.

"How does it feel to be a married man?" Nick asked, and Kevin could hear his pain, anger and jealousy.

"I wouldn’t know," Kevin said, stepping towards Nick. "I didn't get married." Nick was silent and Kevin desperately waited for his response.

"Don't lie to me, Kevin," Nick finally said and Kevin frowned and moved forward again. He could see Nick's shadow now and moved towards it. He reached out and grabbed Nick's hand.

"I'm not wearing a ring," he said and he could hear Nick's breathing.

"That doesn’t mean anything...you could have taken it off," Nick said softly. Kevin frowned and pulled Nick up from where he was sitting.

"What's it going to take to prove to you that I didn't get married?" Kevin asked him, pulling Nick's body against his own.

"What happened?" Nick whispered.

"I couldn’t say 'I do'," Kevin whispered. "Not for her."

"Would you say it for anyone else?" Nick whispered, his body starting to melt against Kevin's.

"No," Kevin said and felt Nick gasp and try to pull back. Kevin held on, though, and didn't let go. "Not just anyone. You, Nicky. Only you." Kevin then leant down and pressed his lips against Nick's in a tender, yet passionate, kiss.

"I love you, Kevin," Nick whispered as they pulled apart. Kevin smiled, relieved that he had finally said those words.

"I love you, too, Nicky," Kevin whispered. "I'm not scared anymore, I promise. I love you and we will get through this together."