Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and Whatnot

The day of our Apparition tests, the four of us were sitting outside in the courtyard.

“For the last time, just forget about Malfoy,” Hermione said.

Harry had yet to retrieve the memory from Slughorn, but he seemed more fascinated with what Malfoy was doing in the Room of Requirements for some reason.

“It’s not Lavender” she sighed as Ron ducked behind us when a girl rounded the corner.

“Oh, good” he said.

“Harry Potter?” asked the girl. “I was asked to give you this”

“Thanks…Dumbledore said we wouldn’t be having any more lessons until I got the memory!”

“Maybe he wants to check on how you’re doing?” suggested Hermione.

“Or maybe he’s taken up my suggestion and finds it necessary to teach you the bagpipes” I said. “I mean, to be honest, if anything is going to scare Voldemort away, I’d vote on bagpipes”

Hermione gave me a look.

“Okay, okay, sorry, just a joke…geez” I muttered.

“Look at this,” Harry said, handing over the paper.

It was a letter from not Dumbledore, but Hagrid. There were big splotches where the ink had run, I’m guessing from tears because the content of the letter stated that his giant spider, Aragog, had died. He wanted us to come down when he buried it.

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Hermione said, passing it to Ron.

“He’s mental!” Ron said.

“Aww, guys, his giant man-eating spider died, it’s sad. You know he thinks of it like a pet,” I said.

“That thing told its mates to eat Harry and me! Told them to help themselves! And now Hagrid expects us to go down there and cry over its horrible hairy body!” Ron exclaimed.

“It’s not just that,” said Hermione. “He’s asking us to leave the castle at night and he knows security’s a million times tighter and how much trouble we’d be in if we were caught”

“We’ve been down to see him by night before,” said Harry.

“Yes, but for something like this? We’ve risked a lot to help Hagrid out, but after all – Aragog’s dead. If it were a question of saving him – “

“ – I’d want to go even less,” said Ron. “You didn’t meet him. Believe me, being dead will have improved him a lot.”

"And being mute would improve you a lot, but unfortunately that's never gonna happen" I said.

Ron stuck his tongue out at me.

Harry was looking over the note again.

“Harry, you can’t be thinking of going,” said Hermione. “It’s such a pointless thing to get detention for.”

Harry sighed, “Yeah, I know, I s’pose Hagrid’ll have to bury Aragog without us.”

“Yes, he will,” said Hermione. “Look, Potions will be almost empty this afternoon, with us all off doing our tests…Try and soften Slughorn up a bit then!”

“Fifty-seventh time lucky, you think?” said Harry sarcastically.

The moment he said lucky, Ron looked up and I gasped.

“Lucky,” said Ron. “Harry, that’s it – get lucky!”

“What d’you mean?”

“Use your lucky potion!”

“Ron, that’s – that’s it!” said a stunned Hermione. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of it?”

“It was bound to happen eventually,” I said.

“Felix Felicis?” asked Harry. “I dunno…I was sort of saving it…”

“What for?”

“What on earth is more important than this memory, Harry?”

“Well…okay. If I can’t get Slughorn to talk this afternoon, I’ll take some Felix and have another go this evening.”

The bell rang soon after, signaling class, or for most of the sixth years…Apparition exams.

“Good luck!” Harry called after us.

“And you too!” Hermione said, with a significant look.

When we returned later in the afternoon, we found Harry already in the common room.

“Harry!” Hermione cried. “Harry, I passed!”

“Me too!" I said, running in after her, "Personally, I think it was my dictation that won them over, or maybe my dilapidation”

“Well done!” Harry said. “And Ron?”

“He – he just failed,” whispered Hermione. “It was really unlucky, a tiny thing, the examiner just spotted that he’d left half an eyebrow behind”

“I think he looked better without it anyways” I added.

“How’d it go with Slughorn?”

“No joy,” Harry said as Ron walked up, “Bad luck, mate, but you’ll pass next time – we can take it together.”

“Yeah, I s’pose,” said Ron grumpily. “But half an eyebrow! Like that matters!”

“I know,” said Hermione, trying to soothe him, “it does seem really harsh…”

We spent dinner insulting the Apparition examiner, and by the end, Ron looked slightly more cheerful. Back in the common room, we began discussing the memory from Slughorn.

“So Harry – you going to use the Felix Felicis or what?” asked Ron.

“Yeah, I s’pose I’d better. I don’t reckon I’ll need all of it, not twenty-four hours’ worth, it can’t take all night…I’ll just take a mouthful. Two or three hours should do it.”

Since we had seen Slughorn entering the Great Hall as we left, we lingered a while in the common room. He liked to take his time eating, then he usually went back to his study. After checking that Neville, Dean, and Seamus weren’t upstairs, we snuck up to the boys’ dormitory.

“Well, here goes,” said Harry, taking out the little bottle and tipping it back.

“What does it feel like?” asked Hermione.

We watched him for a moment, and there was almost a physical change, or it seemed like it. He looked happier, more confident,…luckier.

“Excellent,” he said. “Really excellent. Right…I’m going down to Hagrid’s.”

“What?” we said together.

“No, Harry – you’ve got to go and see Slughorn, remember?” said Hermione.

“No,” said Harry. “I’m going to Hagrid’s, I’ve got a good feeling about going to Hagrid’s.”

“You’ve got a good feeling about burying a giant spider?” asked Ron.

“Yeah,” Harry pulled out his Invisibility Cloak. “I feel like it’s the place to be tonight, you know what I mean?”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure it’ll be a rockin’ good time. What is he talking about?” I asked Hermione and Ron who looked as stunned as I felt.

“This is Felix Felicis, I suppose?” Hermione held up the little bottle. “You haven’t got another little bottle full of – I don’t know – “

“Essence of Insanity?” suggested Ron.

“ Or Crazy Flakes? Liquid Loony? Extract of Ridiculous?” I added.

Harry just laughed, “Trust me, I know what I’m doing…or at least, Felix does.”

He walked to the door and pulled the Invisibility Cloak over his head. We rushed after him, but at the door, I remembered my bag and turned to grab it.

When I got to the stairs, Harry was gone, as far as I knew, and Lavender Brown had cornered Ron and Hermione on the stairs. Ron seemed to be spluttering some sort of, what he thought was, an explanation. Hermione stood there, looking wary of Lavender, but not in the least bit upset. I sat down at the top of the stairs to watch the drama unfold.

“I just want to know why I always see you hanging around her!” Lavender seemed very angry.

“But – we weren’t – Lavender, it’s not like that…”

“It sure seems like that! Why would you be alone up in your dormitory then?”

“We were just working on…homework?”

Man, he wasn’t trying very hard. He must be really sick of her.

Lavender sniffed, I think she was about to start crying.

“I think, Ronald, maybe it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore”

“O-okay, if that’s what you want” he stuttered.

“Fine, goodbye then” she turned and stalked off.

I skipped down the stairs, “Well that was entertaining”

“Where were you? That wouldn’t have happened if you had been with us, too” Hermione
accused.

“Ah, or she could’ve thought Won-Won was even more of a pimp”

“But I obviously wasn’t doing anything with either of you”

“You sure didn’t try very hard to convince her of that” I said, walking past them into the common room. “Personally, I think it’s better for all of us this way”