Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and Whatnot

Harry still wasn’t there when we got to the Great Hall. All through Dumbledore’s little opening speech, the sorting, and the beginning of dinner we didn’t see him and we were beginning to get worried. Eventually, we noticed him come in. He walked over to our table quickly and sat down.

“Where’ve you – blimey, what’ve you done to your face?” Ron said, staring at Harry like the rest of us since he had blood all over him.

“Why, what’s wrong with it?” Harry asked, trying to see his reflection in a spoon.

“Ron! I thought we agreed we wouldn’t let Harry know just how unfortunate looking he is,” I mock-scolded.

“Ha, ha, very funny Caroline. Harry, you’re covered in blood!” said Hermione, “Come here – “

She siphoned off the blood and then asked where he’d been all this time.

“I’ll tell you later,” said Harry.

“The very best of evenings to you!” Dumbledore was standing at his podium, smiling broadly with his arms open wide.

“What happened to his hand?” gasped Hermione.

His right hand was blackened and looked practically dead. She wasn’t the only one making exclamations like this.

“Nothing to worry about,” he said airily, pulling his sleeve over the injury, “Now…to our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! Another year full of magical education awaits you…”

“His hand was like that when I saw him over the summer,” Harry said. “I thought he’d have cured it by now, though…or Madam Pomfrey would’ve done.”

“It looks as if it’s died,” said Hermione. “But there are some injuries you can’t cure…old curses…and there are potions without antidotes…”

“…and Mr. Filch, our caretaker, has asked me to say that there is a blanket ban on any joke items bought at the shop called Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes.”

I smirked, thinking of the stash I had hidden in the bottom of my trunk. I mean, did they really expect us to not have anything from there?

“We are pleased to welcome a new member of staff this year. Professor Slughorn” – a bald man stood up, his belly protruding over the table – “is a former colleague of mine who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions master.”

“Potions?”

“Potions?”

“Professor Snape, meanwhile,” Dumbledore raised his voice to be heard over the noise, “will be taking over the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.”

“No!” shouted Harry.

Many heads turned towards him, but we just stared back up at the staff table, where Snape merely raised a hand in acknowledgment.

“But Harry, you said that Slughorn was going to be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts!” said Hermione.

“I thought he was!” said Harry, he seemed to be thinking.

Then, he said savagely, “Well, there’s one good thing. Snape’ll be gone by the end of the year.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ron.

“That job’s jinxed. No one’s lasted more than a year…Quirrell actually died doing it…Personally, I’m going to keep my fingers crossed for another death…”

“Harry!” Hermione and I said.

“He might just go back to teaching Potions at the end of the year,” said Ron. “That Slughorn bloke might not want to stay long-term. Moody didn’t.”

Next Dumbledore made his announcement about Voldemort, telling us to be safe and cautious and follow all the new security rules, no matter what.

“But now,” he smiled again. “Your beds await, as warm and comfortable as you could possibly wish, and I know that your top priority is to be well-reted for your lessons tomorrow. Let us therefore say good night. Pip pip!”

We all started filing out of the Great Hall.

Hermione rushed ahead to direct the first years and I called out, “Remember Hermione, the first years are not to be fed to Fluffy!”

Some of them actually looked frightened and Hermione shot me a reproachful look, but I just shrugged and smiled innocently. Then I waited at the doors for Ron and Harry who were taking their sweet time getting out of the Great Hall.