Pretty Bird

"So how do these things work anyways?" I shifted uneasily in my seat, the overstuffed cushion below me shifting as well under my weight. "I don't really have too much experience in the art of dealing with drug addicts, dealers, and all that kind of stuff."

"It's easy, really." Curtis replied, his hand in Holly's. The sunshine was peeking in through the blinds in the living room, making a pattern on the wall behind the couch they were sitting on. It was nice; the yellow painted walls looked even more golden in the light, which looked good with their hardwood floors. I shifted again under the other couch, uncrossing my legs from under me and laying them across the couch, living in the luxury of not having to share with anyone. Oliver chose not to be present around all this intervention stuff; he said it wasn't his business.

"Relatively easy. For us, anyways." Holly added, resting her head on Curtis' shoulder. "It's going to be hard for Blake."

I nodded, the images of him looking so haggard in front of the Tesco that day flooding my memory. He looked so skinny, like the October winds that day would lift him off the ground and blow him away, a dark crumpled leaf being tossed around in the wind.

"Basically, Curtis is going to invite him here, and pick him up, since Blake doesn't know where we live." Holly started, her eye contact stuck on me. She seemed so confident about the whole thing, while I was almost sold on the idea that Blake would get up and walk away before we even knew what hit us. "And we're going to sit him down, right where you are. And we will read him our letters, telling him why he needs to stop and all."

"Holly set everything up with the rehab, too." Curtis added in, giving me a reassuring smile. "It's in Wales, nice and far away."

"Wait we're sending him to a different country?!" I surely thought we would send him out of Yorkshire, but out of England? "Isn't that a little extreme?"

Holly shrugged, still not losing eye contact. "It has a high success rate. I don't want to have to send him over and over."

"I guess." I whispered into my lap, my hands cracking my fingers anxiously. "And this is going to work, right?"

"Have a little faith, Christian." Curtis smiled again. "I mean, your name is all about faith."

I smiled back, my hand reaching up and brushing my fringe out of my eyes. "I've never been good at believing."

"Blake is going to be fine," Holly stood up, and adjusted her dress, the wrinkles falling out of it easily as the soft material unscrunched around her. "He has a lot of people who care about him."

"It's just a big day. I feel like so much has happened already and Oliver and I have only been back for like, 3 months." Holly nodded, and walked into the kitchen, mumbling something about wanting a glass of water.

"Aye, and we're leaving again after Christmas." Curtis reminded me, as if I already didn't know. This was the life of a band; August to January was apparently the longest break they had had in years; they normally did Taste of Chaos in the wintertime.

"Trust me, I know." I sighed, my hands cracking my fingers once more. I saw Curtis cringe slightly, and I stopped. He never said anything about it, but it apparently grossed him out. I wondered how he could stand to be around Oliver so much; he was always cracking something.

"Yeah, yeah..." Curtis nodded, looking down now as well. No one liked the idea of leaving, even the single guys. Sheffield was definitely home, no matter how much they all enjoyed playing their music.

"It's not even the same continent," I said, turning my attention back to Curtis. "I mean, Japan? Honestly?"

"It'll be cool." He shrugged, smiling slightly. "It'll be a whole new world."

"You'll be the tallest person in the entire country." I smiled genuinely now, imagining Curtis in a sea of Asian people all coming up to his waist.

"Oli will take 2nd place then." He added, giving me a big cheesy grin. I laughed under my breath and leaned my head back on the couch.

"Too soon, too soon..." I groaned, stretching my arms out in front of me. "This is all happening so fast."

"Another day, another dollar..." Holly sing-songed from the kitchen, the sound of the refrigerator opening and closing following soon after.

I didn't respond, just groaned again, stretching my legs out to the end of the couch, as far as they could go.

"It'll be less days he's on the street." Holly said, coming out of the kitchen with two glasses of water. She handed one to her boyfriend, and then set mine on the coffee table.

"I know." I said, turning my attention back to them. "It's just scary."

"Well, tomorrow is the day to be scared. How about some Halo?" Curtis offered, sitting on the ground and turning on the x-box. It started to wheeze and take in air, coming to life. "We could all use a good game of Halo."

Holly and I just rolled our eyes, but joined Curtis on the floor anyways, the tension slowly filtering out of the room.

_________________________________________

When I normally go to Holly and Curtis' house, I stomp right up their drive, admiring the huge tree in front of their house, before knocking obnoxiously on the door until someone tires of me and lets me in.

This time, I had to wait outside for Vegan to get there, seeing that they didn't hear me knocking inside. He just gave me a look, like he knew exactly what was wrong, before pressing the doorbell tentatively, both of us being greeted at once.

I wasn't trying to be so somber, honestly. But, I just couldn't help but fall into the mindset that everything was going to go wrong. I am normally so in control of every situation I put myself in; if something goes wrong, its my fault. This time though, there was nothing I could do. All I could do was read Blake the letter I wrote, the letter that was on the piece of paper crinkling in my hands. If something went unfavorably, there was nothing I could do.

Holly had provided everyone with water again, giving me a perfect excuse to not have to say anything to anyone. They could all tell I was nervous anyways; my hands were trembling slightly and I couldn't make eye contact with anyone, the repetitive and awkward counting backwards from 10 thing repeating over and over in my mind, like a song on repeat. All I did was look towards the door every few seconds, take a sip of water, and look down again, memorizing the plaid pattern on my flats.

Finally, the doorbell rang. Everyone looked towards the door at the same time, a look of half surprise, half fear in all of our eyes. Suddenly, Holly had a grip on my wrist, and was pulling me into the living room, and onto a couch, right next to where Blake was supposed to sit. I felt her sit next to me, my hand in hers on her lap.

Then, I heard it. His voice.

Curtis spoke first, his laugh charming and light, floating out over the words he said, as if there was nothing wrong at all. He could be a good actor under pressure.

Blake's voice was almost the complete opposite; hollow and dark, just like the day at Tesco. I knew I shouldn't have expected any miracles, but part of me was hoping the same old Blake would have rung that doorbell, that his laugh would come to my ears. His laugh always amazed me; it was expansive, with a deep conviction, but always delicate, like rice paper floating in the wind. It was dead though, just like the Blake I thought I knew.

Their feet sounded through the house, down the hallway, and finally into the living room, where they both walked in on all of us sitting there, waiting. Blake's eyes went wide, starting from the left and working right: Matt Nicholls, Lee, Molly, Vegan, then Holly, and me. I was last. His eyes stayed on mine for a while, his hood creating a shadow over the majority of his face, only a few wisps of bleached hair poking through around his ears. His hair was longer now, brushing against his shoulders, still platinum colored. He looked even thinner, if that was even possible. I could see his hipbones putting out sharply over his boxers and jeans, so sharp I wondered if they could cut the fabric. I took my eyes off of Blake for a moment, and saw Curtis move himself to the middle of the hallway, almost bracing himself if Blake were to turn around and run straight out the house. Even though Curtis was skinny, he probably had more strength than Blake. Blake turned around also once he saw my eyes weren’t on him anymore, and gave Curtis a bone chilling glare, Curtis shuddering slightly in his place. He didn't budge though, making Blake roll his eyes and walk into the living room, and plop down onto the couch next to me. He smelled like cigarettes and rain, as if he had been smoking in a thunderstorm.

"Blake," Holly began slowly. Up until Blake walked in the room, she was her usual confident self, directing this event like it was just another Bring Me The Horizon get together. Now, her voice was softer, lower, as if her words might break the entire room in two. "We're all here for a reason, you know."

He just scoffed, and threw his arms across his chest, his hood falling further into his face.

"We all care about you. That's why we're here. And we miss you." The room was silent for a few long, agonizing seconds. My breath began to become ragged, and my hands began to clam up in my lap. I clasped them together quickly, making a small clap noise. Blake looked down at my hands, and then at me. All of a sudden, his foreign, empty laugh filled the space.

"You all came here to tell me you're mad I don't want to hang out with you anymore?" He began to wheeze and cough, the laugh clearly too big for his lungs. He regained control, still letting a huge smile sit on his cracked lips. "This is fucking epic."

"No...that's not it." I heard Lee say from the other couch, his bright eyes focused intently on Blake. "We're here because we miss the old you. We do miss your company, but we think that you're living a way that unhealthy. It's gonna catch up to you, Blake. And we just want you to be okay."

His smile faded almost quickly as it was mustered, his hard exterior coming back. He didn't say anything, just hardened his glare at Lee, and then at Curtis. Finally, he turned his head, unleashing the glare on me.

"You couldn't just leave me alone, could you, Christian?" He sneered, making me feel about 400 times smaller in my seat.

"I," I tried to start confidently, but my voice instantly shrunk back to a meek whisper. "I just want you to get off the drugs, Blake."

"Hypocrite." He scoffed, rolling his eyes at all of us. "I've smoked with almost all of you in this room before." He turned and glared at Curtis the longest, making Curtis look down at his shoes for a long, awkward moment.

"We aren't talking about pot." Holly said, looking straight at Blake, her confidence now restored.

He just looked away. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Look, we aren't here to play games with you. You're an addict, Blake. I mean, just look at you! What happened to you?!" Curtis spoke up, Holly's voice clearly giving him a confidence boost as well. Blake just stared at Curtis with wide, black eyes. "You look like a mess! What happened to all your other clothes! You've had to have lost 20 pounds in 2 months, you haven't cut your hair in ages, and you have meth scars all over your face! We do know what we're talking about! You're just in denial!"

Blake just stared some more, his arms slowly uncrossing over his chest. His fingernails were dirty and black, his long, skinny fingers placed awkwardly at his sides, brushing against my jeans.

"That's why we're here, Blake. We all wrote you letters and all-"

"I don't need to hear any of your fucking letters." He yelled, standing up and covering his face with his hands, the rest of the room stunned to silence. "I don't need to hear any of your shit!" His hands fell down to his sides again, one of his fingers pointing to Curtis. "You're a fucking terrible friend, man! After all I've done for you, all I've gotten you, and you repay me with this shit!?" He turned to face all of us again, his eyes lingering on mine. "Is this a fucking intervention?!"

"Blake, please..." Lee pleaded in a low voice, both him and Curtis standing up, trying to block the entrance into the hallway. "Just hear everyone out."

"No!" Blake screamed this time, his voice booming and feral, as if at any moment he would snap and go into a fit of uncontrollable rage. "You fucks can hear me out!" He was seething, his hands beginning to shake slightly. I tried to make myself invisible in my seat, as if receding into the couch far enough would make the couch swallow me whole, and drop me off outside the house, away from all of this. "Christian especially!"

My stomach sank once my name came out of his mouth.

"You call yourself a fucking good friend, when you're the biggest hypocrite I've ever met!" He was facing me now, my body curled up with my arms wrapped around my knees. "You're apparently marrying a man who hates me! For no reason!"

"He doesn't hate you.." I whispered, barely audibly.

"Then where is he, Sparrow!? If you all apparently care about me so much why the fuck isn't he in the room!? Oh, that's right! He couldn't care less if I died! And here you are, claiming you're my best fucking friend, when you're picking him! All I've ever done is be nice to you, be the best friend I knew how! And you're picking him over me!"

Suddenly, something snapped in my brain, and my words started coming out too fast for my mind to control. "No, Blake! Don't you even start that shit with me!" My body was now in a standing position, and I felt my hands reach out, pushing Blake back, making contact right at his chest. "If Alena loves you so much, why did she do this shit to you! Why did she let you turn into a fucking junkie, a dealer, a piece of druggie trash!? You're right, everyone who is here cares about you, and shes not in the room! So why, Blake? Why the hell are you doing this to yourself!?"

I was sobbing, the heavy air racking through my lungs and choking out my airway. My face was dry though; it was just my lungs feeling the pressure. I felt someone's, Matt Nicholls' arms around my waist, pulling me back, away from a stunned Blake, whose dark eyes were frozen wide.

"See, Blake! You're like my fucking family! And you're killing yourself! You're killing yourself!" I slumped back against Matt's chest, my chest heaving as I stared desperately at Blake, my sudden anger now completely gone. Then, I felt the tears, as hot as scalding water burn down my cheeks. "You're killing yourself.." I sputtered out pathetically, Matt still holding me close. I couldn't feel him though, I couldn't feel anything. All I saw were Blake's eyes, finally showing some sort of emotion, locked back on mine.