Pretty Bird

Guernica (Acoustic); Brand New

His silence was enough. To be honest, I would have preferred a screaming match.

All he did was lean over and open the passenger side door for me, his eyes staying forward, focused on the dashboard clock. The minute hand flipped from 9:46 to 9:47. He didn't even blink. I sighed, slipping into the car and closing the door myself, both of Oliver's hands gripping the steering wheel. He didn't take off until he heard my seat belt click. Oliver could be as pissed off at me as ever, but he would never in a million years do anything that would even possibly jeopardize my safety. It was just the way he loved me.

As cliché as it might have been, the rain started as soon as he pulled off onto the main road. The sound of the windshield wipers filled the car, the powerful engine humming below us. Every so often, he would take his left hand and rest it on the gearshift, taking it off the wheel. Normally, our hands would be interlaced, resting on the middle compartment. I guess his left hand wasn't used to not holding mine.

It was a daring move, but as soon as the car reached a red light, I felt my right hand lift and fall onto his left, the one resting on the gearshift.

I felt his fingers flex involuntarily, the muscles moving under the skin of his forearm. I watched, turning my head slightly. Finally, he relented, turning his head to talk to me.

"You had me worried."

I just stared back, unsure how to respond. "I was upset. I didn't want to be alone." It was the truth.

Oliver sighed, and turned his eyes back on the road, the car moving again now that the light had turned green. "A call would have been nice. Or I could have gotten you and taken you home, you know. I was up late."

"Oh yeah? What were you doing?" I asked, feeling my mind snap from guilt from making Oliver worried, to anger as to what he did last night.

"I told you. That interview, love."

"Curtis and Lee told me they knew nothing about that interview you apparently had." I was looking out the window now, my arms curled around my body.

"Curtis? Lee?" There was a pause, his mind obviously racing, working through kinks, connecting dots. He knew what happened when Blake and Curtis were in the same room. "Christian, did you get high last night?"

"For fucks sake, Oliver. You're not my father."

He scoffed, his hands momentarily off the wheel as he threw them up in exasperation. "So, is this your way of getting back at me? I go to work, and you go get fucked up with your friends?"

"Don't be so over dramatic. Last time I checked, the last time I even smoked was with you in Belgium. And you didn't even go to work, Oliver. You'd think your other bandmates would know of this 'interview'."

"That's bollocks," The tone of his voice was raising. I guess I was going to get that screaming match. "I had an interview. For Kerrang. Ask Matt."

"Nicholls would cover your ass in a heartbeat. Its not like he never has." I tried to raise my voice to match his, but my words cracked, my throat obviously not in the best shape after the smoking I did last night. "Why can't you just honestly tell me what you did. If you wanted a night out with your friends, its not like I'm stopping you. I just want you to be honest." I slumped back into my seat, relieved that we were almost home.

Oliver didn't answer, as if he wanted the matter to go away entirely. His grip on the steering wheel was reduced, his knuckles, covered in little cuts, were no longer white from lack of blood flow.

I rolled my eyes, giving up on ever getting an answer out of him. He probably just wanted a night out, nothing wrong with that. I mean, since June we had spent almost every waking moment together. He could only be 'boyfriend Oliver' for so long. Sometimes he had to go back to 'Rock star Oliver'.

The car pulled into our designated parking spot. My mind was still in a daze though, overwhelmed with the strange events of last night. Oliver was being weird, Blake was painfully oblivious, and Alena was looking more and more evil. At least Lee could tell, but Curtis was probably in too much pain. All he could think about was getting high, escaping his ears.

Before I could even register what was happening, my car door opened, Oliver's skinny legs clad in his ridiculously skinny jeans in my view. He reached into the car, unbuckling my seatbelt and grabbing my hand. "Come on..." He said to me in a low voice, pulling me out of the car along with himself. He closed the door, his hand still holding onto mine, my body too disoriented to object. Its not like I would anyways, I was so used to having his hand in mine, it felt like second nature. He walked faster than me, his longer legs able to take bigger steps. So, I followed along behind him like a child, right on his heels as his firm grip on my hand led me to the flat. Once we got to the door, he let my hand go, only to get the right key off of his key ring. His hand went right back to mine as he opened the door. "You need to get out of those clothes. It's too cold to be in just a t-shirt."

His soft words jarred me back into reality. "You're in jeans and a t-shirt too, Oliver."

He led me into the bedroom, sitting me on the bed as he walked into the attached bathroom. "I've had a good nights sleep and a decent morning. You have had neither." He re-emerged from the bathroom, the shower water on. "Come on, love. How's a shower sound?"

At that moment, I knew I couldn't be mad at him anymore. I nodded, looking up at his eyes, which were soft and thoughtful, careful not to press his cold fingers into my stomach or sides as he lifted my flimsy cotton shirt up and over my head. Like the pro he was, he unfastened my bra in seconds, wiggling it off my shoulders and throwing it into the laundry along with my shirt. My jeans came next, his hands pressed into my sides as I stood up and wiggled out of them, as if I was liable to lose my balance at any time. Once I was finally undressed, he kissed me gently on the forehead, his lips staying on my skin for a long time.

"If you aren't out in 20 minutes, I'll check on you." He whispered, kissing my forehead quickly one last time before leaving the room. "Ill make you some tea. Green's fine?"

Rhetorical question. My mind was too heavy to answer. All I could do was force my body into the shower, the water hitting my skin like a thousand knives. It was like I was truly, visibly dirty, the water scraping against me and prickling my skin uncomfortably. I stayed put though, letting it all wash off of me, my muscles softening and relaxing under the heat. I felt my hair mat around my shoulders and back, the water making it much heavier than it was when dry. I leaned against the side of the shower, desperate for my mind to stop racing.

Oliver did end up having to check on me, pulling me out of the shower gently, trying to not get himself wet. He wrapped me in a towel, waiting patiently as I dried myself, his shoes clicking against the tile as he jiggled his leg, another ADHD habit. I dressed myself in a pair of his boxers and a random long sleeved t-shirt, probably belonging to Oliver as well. He took my hand again, leading me to the kitchen, where I noticed the tea, still steaming hot, waiting on the counter. I hopped up onto the counter, thankful for my balance, my eyes meeting with Oliver's when I was ready for him to give me my tea. He handed it over, warning me that it was hot, before sitting himself on the counter next to me.

"Christian, Christian Christian..." He whispered into my damp hair as I held the tea with two hands, waiting for it to cool to take a sip. "What am I going to do with you?"

______________________________________

I waited a few days to talk to Blake again. Not necessarily because of anything that he had done, I was honestly just not sure how to act around Alena anymore. Besides, with Oliver no longer upset with me, we were back to our normal selves again, unable to keep our hands off of each other. To be honest, I didn't remember too much of the morning we were fighting, my mind was much too heavy to remember the details I normally remembered. All I could really recount was the hot shower, Oliver's hand in mine, and the feeling of the tea warming me up inside, Oliver's head resting on my shoulder. I knew he had taken care of me, though, even if he wasn't too pleased with my state at the time. He blamed it on me being high still, but I knew I was thinking clearly. I was just incredibly swamped. I loved Blake like he was my own brother, and he was so happy with Alena. I guess ignorance is bliss. I couldn't be the one to ruin it for him, though. He was normally so shy, I had never ever heard him talk about past girlfriends before, or wanting anyone really. He was normally happy with his weed and his book collection, which seemed to grow more by the day. Hearing of Alena was such a surprise, a good one I had thought at the time. If she ruined Blake, I would never be able to feel at content as I had the past year. He had become a part of my sanity, just like Oliver had, even if they had completely different roles. I had already lost one best friend in Emma, who was apparently pregnant now with Jamie, her soon to be ex husband's baby. Unlike Alena, hearing of Emma's fate was not a surprise. Even if it was cruel, I barely felt bad for her. Karma is a bitch, right?

I decided before going to Blake's and being in the same space as Alena again, it would be best to talk to Lee. He was always ridiculously observant and perceptive; it would be good having his take on it. Lee reminded me a lot of myself sometimes. He was quiet during the right times, mastering the art of observing instead of talking when it was appropriate. I mean, you had to be real aware of your surroundings in order to find a grain of meth off of a white wood coffee table. The kid amazed me sometimes. His house, however, was always the opposite of quiet. For the longest time, he shared the place with his longtime girlfriend/fiance/whatever they were this time named Molly. But, 2 months ago, Lee had to fly back to England from a break in festivals in order to welcome Aubrey Leighton Malia into the world, the cutest baby girl I had ever laid eyes on. I had only seen her a few times, due to Oliver and I always traveling between Sheffield and London, but every time I did she seemed to be looking more and more like Lee.

"I can see why you were so tired yesterday." I smiled as he opened the door, letting me. Aubrey's wails were loud, verging on ear splitting.

Lee nodded, scratching the back of his head and leading me into the living room, the baby's cries growing stronger as we walked further into the house. "I had to get away and go see Curtis yesterday, even if it was to work on songs. I feel bad for Molly, though. So I'm going to stay up with Aubrey tonight as best I can."

"Oh, the joys of being a parent." I laughed, looking around his house. No longer were there Metallica posters and albums and all kinds of 'bachelor-esque' things around. It was all replaced with portraits Tom had shot of Aubrey, Aubrey's birth announcement pinned onto the wall, and a dry erase board full of Lee and Molly's handwriting, counting the times she had been fed and how long she was sleeping at a time.

"Yeah," He laughed, sitting onto the couch. "I didn't realize how much I'd fall in love."

I sat down on the couch across from him, the baby finally seeming to calm down. I could hear Molly faintly singing now that Aubrey was crying less. "I'm happy for you." I smiled genuinely.

He smiled back, leaning back on the couch. "I suppose I know the real reason you're here, though."

"Alena..." I sighed, leaned back into the couch as well. "I don't really know what went on last night. I mean, I know. But like, it all just feels like so much."

"And Curtis can be downright daft at times," Lee added, a small smile gracing his lips. "He doesn't mind her, you know."

"Why?" I furrowed my brow. Curtis was always incredibly sensitive, and Alena seemed to be very rough around the edges, to say the least. They didn't seem like they would get along well.

"I think he sees how happy she makes Blake. He doesn't want to ruin that for him."

"It's not like I do either. Trust me, I know Blake is happy. But he also has no idea what is going on in his house."

"Don't be so sure of that." Lee said, his eyes seeming to change colors before my very eyes, from blue to green back to blue again.

"You saw how she was trying to hide the meth from Blake!"

"No, she was hiding us knowing about it from Blake." Lee said matter of factly, as if it was as plain as day. "She was wiping it off the coffee table when we first walked in, and Blake answered the door. He had to see it. It is clearly just their dirty little secret, Christian. They don't want anyone to know."

I cocked my head, unsure of what to say. Lee was right, as always. His explanation made perfect sense while mine left more questions than answers. "Hmm." I said, my eyes downcast, lost in concentration. "What should we do then?"

"There is nothing me or you can do." Lee said, his smile disappearing. "We cant tell either of them what to do. I am just going to watch, pray that Curtis doesn't get caught up in that bullshit, and hopefully Blake will stop thinking with his dick and get rid of Alena before its too late."

I sighed, upset with his response, even though he was right. "So I just have to act like I don't know?"

He nodded, just as Molly walked into the living room. "Is she asleep?" He asked her.

"Finally." Molly sighed, clearly exasperated. "I don't think this formula sits well with her." She turned slightly, finally noticing me in the room. "Oh, hi Christian. I didn't know we were expecting you."

"I just dropped by...sorry if its any trouble." I smiled at her. Back before Molly was pregnant, we were pretty close. We were both 'girlfriends of the band', dealing with the same shit of having a boyfriend missing in action the majority of the time. Now with the baby though, our lives were going in different directions. I was busy with Drop Dead, she was busy tending to Aubrey.

"It's no trouble, I just wish you didn't have to hear Aubrey so upset like that." She sat down next to Lee, clearly grateful to be off of her feet. Lee scooted closer to her, bring his arm around her shoulders, bringing his lips to her head affectionately.

'I know babies cry," I smiled reassuringly. "Its no big deal."

"Christian and I were talking about Curtis." Lee said, bringing his lips out of her slightly tangled hair.

"Oh...Curtis." Molly sighed. "Poor Curtis....poor Holly as well."

"Yeah..." Lee and I both said.

"He isn't going to be able to continue doing this much longer." Lee added. "I was working on guitar parts with him last night and he could barely hear me when I was more than 5 feet away from him."

"Good side or bad side?"

"Either way. He's my best mate, known him forever. Played in bands with him forever."

Molly rolled her eyes, smiling up at Lee. "5th Column, Sheffield's own Metallica cover band"

"Proper shit." Lee said, as if he was correcting her. They both shared a small laugh, before turning back to me. All of a sudden I felt incredibly awkward, as if I had encroached on some private, ridiculously happy moment. I needed to be in Oliver's arms.

"I have to be going back." I said quickly, rising from the couch. "Maybe Oliver and I will come by some time later, when Aubrey is in a better mood."

Both Lee and Molly stood up, Molly turning to the dry erase board. "Your best bet is between 4 and 6pm."

I nodded, and let them follow me to the door. I said goodbyes quickly, before walking down the steps to the car. Just as I was about the open the door, I felt Lee behind me, calling my name softly.

"Sorry," He said, walking up to me. "I cant be loud, don't want to wake Aubrey."

I nodded, slightly confused as to why he had followed me to my car.

"I just wanted to make sure we are on the same page." He started again, zipping his hoodie up in the front. "We both have best friends at risk because of her, you know. Just please don't do anything you'll regret. Don't make Blake pick you or Alena. If you do something drastic so quickly, we will both be in danger of losing him or Curtis, or both."

I nodded, giving him a quick hug. "Don't worry. Everything will work out." In all honesty, I was trying to convince myself of that more than him.

He nodded also, and watched me as I got in my car and drove away, with a whole new set of thoughts to worry about.
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