Decoding Jenny

I could feel Seth staring at me I was just waiting for him to say something but surprisingly he didn’t say anything. Well not right away anyway. Then the officer came out of the door and he walked up to where both Seth and I were standing and spoke, “Officer Procinsky. Walk to that door.” He pointed to another large door but this one had a brass name tag on it.

“Thank you.” I said and he nodded.

So we both walked up silently to the door and I knocked. Then we heard from the other side, “Come in.”

The face belonging to that voice was a woman who couldn’t have been more that forty years old. She had a soft face with short brown hair. But as she looked at us her face was white as she stared at me. It was like she’d seen a ghost. She had.

“Hi. Um I’m Hayley Geralds and this is Seth Charmichael and we were wondering if you could talk to us for a few minutes about the car accident that took place last November. The victims were Justin Levin and Jennifer Geralds.”

“Umm Yes. Sure sit down.” She ushered us in then got up to close the door that we’d just walked in from. “I’m sorry for staring”, she said “You look just like her and I’m sorry about what happened.” Another person who actually meant it.

“Thank you. So about that night”, I said quietly but audible, “Do you happen to know if Jenny was drunk? We know Justin was.”

“Your sister, according to the results was not under the influence of alcohol.”
“Okay that sounds like Jen. Also did you find her or see her?”

“Yes. Honey, do you parents know you’re here?” Didn’t see that coming.

“No they don’t. Did her face look like she’d been crying?”

“Hayley. She didn’t look too great. So to answer your question I couldn’t tell you if she had been. The only thing I could see clearly was her hair. Just like yours.” Just lay it on thick officer. But it was the truth. But I couldn’t take listening anymore.

I stood up and Seth did the same and I smiled at the officer and returned her gratitude by saying, “Thank-you for talking with us.”

“You’re welcome. Again I’m sorry.”

We walked out of the office and I raced over to Seth’s car and opened the door, sat in my seat and I just screamed into my hands. It was quick and probably not too silent. He opened is door and got into his seat. I knew it but I still didn’t look, my face was still in my hands. Then he reached over, just like my brother had that day and he hugged me. But this hug felt different from the one my brother gave me and strangely I liked it. I must have felt safe or something along those lines because I started to cry. Not hard but just enough to make me tear up and make my shoulders shrug.

“Its okay Hayley.” Seth said quietly.

“Sorry.” I said as I got out of his embrace. “Thanks. God. I’m sorry.” I wiped my eyes with my hands.

“Hayley its okay. I know what its like.” He said quietly, so quietly that I don’t know if it was meant to be heard. So I looked at him.

“You do?” I asked.

He nodded, “My Dad.” He said, “We had a reason for moving here after all.” He laughed softly and shook his head. “Killed himself.” He laughed again he put his hand in a shape of a gun up to the side of his head and continued, “ right through the head.”

I just stared. Not anywhere in particular either.

Now when I look back on the moment it was the joining point for Seth and me. Our deepest secrets were let out. Well mine almost was I hadn’t told him it was my fault yet. Here two troubled souls found a friend and there in that moment they began to heal.

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes we just kept to ourselves but I ruined it by saying, “It was my fault. I told her I didn’t want to do something. That I just wanted to be alone. I told her to get out.” That is when both secrets were told.

“No. She would have left anyway Hayley.” He soothed.

“Tell me. About your Dad.” So he began.

“He was always cheerful like I-just-ate-eight-million-pieces-of-candy-and-I’m bouncing-off-the-walls cheerful. I thought everything was fine. But apparently not. We really don’t know why he cracked but he did. Once day he just didn’t come home. They found him the next morning. We just didn’t see it coming. Who would have? When you had a father like that. But I loved him. He loved us and that what makes it so difficult. We don’t know what was so bad that he killed himself.”

Again we both just sat there in silence thinking about what we’d just told. The secrets.
The kind of secrets that keep you awake at night pondering them. Two people who’d lost one of the most influential people in their lives. But we were different: One was on purpose the other on accident. It was different then. I felt sad for him but I understood. Not all the way but pretty close since he had someone who didn’t have to die yet, die. While I had someone you certainly didn’t have to die yet, die. What a bunch of happy people we were.

I moved closer to him on the seat. I put my arm over his shoulder and squeezed. We sat there until it was dark and I said, “Lets go back to my house. Dinner. We don’t want to be late.”

He started up the car and pulled out of the Police station parking lot.
Once back at my house I looked at what the list read:

Facts we Know
1. Lance picked her up at the corner and drover her to the party.
2. Jenny didn’t drink.
3. She never asked Lance for a ride but she could have.
4. She is a goodytwoshoes
5. Again wasn’t drunk.
6. Was fine when she went outside but crying when she came back inside.
7. Asked Meghan for ride but Megan could give her one since she was buzzed.
8. Whatever made her cry was outside.
9. She was completely sober.
10. She was probably upset.

“Wow!” I said after looking at the list as we walked up the walkway to my house. “We are close. I think.” I smiled up at him and I unlocked the door and we walked into my house just as Mom yelled, “Everyone dinner is ready!”

Seth said, “Right on time.” I nodded.

Lets just say that dinner was… different. Carter’s new ‘girlfriend’ didn’t attend our school so she didn’t know about Jenny or the accident or anything that involved our school. Her name was Melissa. She had these huge blue eyes with huge pink lips and she had red hair but it wasn’t huge. I stifled a laugh every time she moved her big lips and Carter kept giving me death glares.

Dinner began like this: Dad, Carter, and Melissa were already at the table as Seth and I took our seats next to eat other. I don’t think my face showed any hints that I’d been crying and neither did Seth’s. Then mom put the food on the table and sat down between Carter and Dad. “You two just made it.” Mom said with a tone I didn’t recognize.

“I know.” I deadpanned.

There was a heavy silence for a minute as no one knew exactly what to say but carter broke it by saying, “This is Melissa. Lissa”, ‘Lissa’ was his pet name for her, “My little sister Hayley, her friend”, he lingered on the word friend until I glared hard at him then continued, “Seth and you’ve already met my parents.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you.” She said in a soft voice, definitely not a cheerleader.
“You too.” I smiled.

So we ate in silence again.

“What did you two do before dinner?” Mom asked looking at Seth and me.
Seth answered for me, “ We drove around town.”

“Gazing out the windows at the unsuspecting townspeople. Stalking that’s what we were doing.” Seth laughed and I smiled while Carter shoved food into his mouth trying to ignore the game that us three kids use to play with our parents.

Dad shook his head and said, “Don’t Hayley.” I know without Jenny none of it even sounded remotely interesting.

I took the plunge, another one that day, it was just a day full of surprises wasn’t it?

“One of these days Dad its going to be okay to say things like that because it makes us remember. I want to remember Dad.” Then I just stared at him with no life behind my eyes. I waited for him to say something and finally he did.

“I know Hayley. But for me it is gong to take a lot longer than three months.”

“Its okay.” I said as poor ‘Lissa’ looked confused at our conversation.

“On a lighter note”, Mom practically sang across the table, “How does everyone like the dinner?”

“Its very good Mrs. Geralds.” Seth and ‘Lissa’ said at the same time. Seth for trying to ease the situation into one we all could talk in and ‘Lissa’ just for the sake of comprehending it.

Carter, Dad, and I just nodded undoubtedly thinking of a night similar to this last summer. Jenny with her boyfriend and carter with his girlfriend and me just sitting there watching like nothing could ever go wrong. But like usual, I was wrong.

Nothing anymore exciting happened than Seth and I almost saying that police are very nice people.( Don’t ask how police came up. They just did.) Also Carter telling a story where I almost broke my nose by falling flat on my face. But he didn’t include the parts where he tripped me and Jenny smacking him. Oh good times.

Dinner ended around eight o’clock and Carter and ‘Lissa’ walked to his car because he was taking her home.

Seth and I walked outside. We kind of just stood there in the breezy California night. I waited. He waited. Together we waited for one of us to talk. So naturally when we decided to talk it was at the same time. So he let me begin:

“I can’t thank you enough for what you did this afternoon.”

“Hayley it felt good to talk to someone other than my Mom.” He laughed softly. “When we talk it feels nice and like there are no boundaries.”

“ I know exactly what you mean.” At that moment something felt different almost a sensation so strong that it was difficult to ignore so I had to follow it. I wanted to be close to him. Obviously kissing him was out of the question.

But at the moment he probably would have like it. He told me that months later.

So I did the next best thing. I reached up on my toes and put my arms around his neck and I hugged him. I think I took him by surprise but after he realized what I did he put his arms around my waist and hugged me back. Both of us just stood there, hugging probably for a good three minutes. Longest hug in history I think. Then I untangled my arms from around his neck and said, “Thanks for coming to dinner.”

“It was…interesting. I really loved your topics and glares.” We laughed.

“What can I say? I’m one of a kind.

“That you are miss Hayley Geralds. One of a kind. Well I’d better go. See you Monday.”

“Okay. Bye.” I watched him as he got into the cab of his truck and drove down my street until I couldn’t see him anymore. Then I went inside and waited for Carter; I needed to talk to him.