You Had Me Wishing We Were Something

"Hey Aubrey"Eric said with a little smile as I walked over to him.

As soon as I reached him, I hugged him. Eric seemed surprised by my actions.

"You okay Aubrey?"He asked softly as he hugged me back.

"No"I said shaking my head as I pulled away."Ive just been having a bad morning. A bad day I guess"I said looking down

"I'm sorry"he whispered

"Eric, my life is falling apart.I cant take it anymore"I said on the verge of tears.

"Aubrey, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if Ive ever made you cry, I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for ruining us. But I just want you to know. You're special to me. I love being with you, I love when you randomly just say 'you're so cute' to me and then kiss my cheek, I love it when you fall asleep on me, I love you. I don't want to ever lose you. I need you apart of my life. I'm sorry I fucked up. I shouldn't have drank so much. I should have had more self control. Breaking us up was the last thing I wanted to do, you're everyth-"And then I cut him off.

I just leaned up and planted a soft kiss on his lips. I pulled away and Eric was smiling.

"I need you apart of my life. You're my support. Okay, what you did did hurt me. But everyone deserves a second shot. Just promise not to do it again?"

"Promise"He said immediately and a huge smile making its way on his face. I just smiled back.

Eric kissed me and then pulled away and then kissed me again. He kept doing it and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Eric stop"I laughed.

"I really do love you"He said as he rested his for head against mine

"I love you too"I said back smiling as we looked in each others eyes. Did I love Eric? I was mega pissed at John, so at the moment, I was in love with Eric.
Eric cant do anything to hurt me as much as John has. Not even cheat. What John does to me just breaks me.

~~
Me and Eric were at his house just laying in bed together listening to the radio playing in the background. I loved moments like this. When we just layed there, talking here and there, but mostly just wrapped up in each other as we were both lost in thought. Usually about each other. It was one of those comfortable silences.

"What are you thinking about?"I asked smiling as I looked up at his relaxed face. I knew he loved moments like this too.

"How happy I am that you're mine again. Losing you was the scariest thing ever"

"I don't take things like that well"I said softly. I think the main reason I took him back was because when John left me again, it made me realize hes the only guy that can hurt me to the point where I want to crawl under my covers and never come out. I realized what Eric did wasn't half as bad as what John did.

I was now going to take a stand. I was no longer going to ever sleep with him again. I was not going to be putty in his hands. I wasn't going to let him use me any longer. Its gotten way out of control.

"I never meant for that to happen. I'm sorry. I swear to god that will never happen again. I want you to trust me" He said and kissed my for head gently.

"I do. Its just I went crazy when I saw you with her."

"I wish that never happened"He said softly.

"Me too" I said back "But lets just put it behind us. I want to forget it"

"Deal"he smiled lightly. "So you really don't like roses?"

"Well, they're pretty. But no. I'm more a daisy type girl"

"You should have told me that. That would have been helpful"He chuckled.

"I'm sorry. I mean it was cute. Its the thought that counts"I smiled.

"I don't want to leave you"He said sadness dripping from his voice.

"I hate this tour"I mumbled.

"Those two months will fly by. I promise"Eric said and kissed my for head softly.

"They should. I mean maybe living on campus will make the days go by quicker"

"Wait what?"Eric asked as he shifted so he was sitting up a bit.

"I had it all arranged this morning. I'm moving into the dorms for the next semester"

"Really?"He asked a little shocked, but a small smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah, I want to try it out, you know" I just mainly want to get away from John....Hes pushed me to far.

"Thats a great idea"He smiled.

"I thought so"I smiled back and Eric gave me a sweet kiss.

~~

I was sitting at the kitchen table doing my homework trying to keep calm. Just being in this house made me mad. Knowing John lived here made me ten times angrier.

I didn't want to see his face. He was probably going to ignore me anyway. I was surprised he wasn't home when Eric dropped me off. Then again I wasn't.

I was so frustrated, I couldn't even concentrate on the math problems that layed in front of me.

"Hey"John said coming into the kitchen and my eyes immediately adverted to him as he walked to the fridge "Sleeping outside was fun, we really should do it again"He said as he closed the fridge after he got out everything he needed.

"You're talking to me?"I asked harshly.

"Yes? Why wouldn't I be?"He asked confused as he grabbed bread, about to make a sandwich.

"I fucking hate you you asshole. How the fuck could you do that to me and then act like nothings fucking wrong?"I asked as I gripped my pencil in my hand.

"Whoa, chill the fuck out"John said as he just stared at me confused "What did I do?"

"You fucking left me again this morning!"I shrieked about to snap my pencil in half.

"I didn't plan on leaving you. The first time I left you I felt like a complete asshole. I knew it was a dick move. What makes you think I would want to do it again?"He asked as he then continued making his sandwich.

"Maybe because, hmmm, when I woke up, you weren't there!"

"Aubrey, look I'm sorry. I had no intention of disappearing on you in the morning. But Amber called me around three in the morning. Her grandma had passed and she was a complete mess and really needed me. I had to go"

"Oh"I said and looked down, loosening my grip on my pencil."You have no idea how I felt this morning"I mumbled.

"And again. I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you because you had to wake up for school in a few hours anyway and I thought you needed sleep."

"Do you know how much shit you caused?"I said as I took a deep breath and then breathed out.

"Enlighten me"

"Well for starters, its all because of you I'm dating Eric again"

"What!? How the fuck did I cause that to happen?"He asked as he stopped making his sandwich, just dropped the bread onto the counter and bore his eyes into mine. Aggravated.

"Well, yes, I cried this morning because I thought this was another one night stand type thing. I wanted Eric to comfort me and be the amazing boyfriend he is. I thought what you did was much worse then what Eric did so I decided to forgive him. You know I had no intention of forgiving him, if you hadn't left in the morning, I probably wouldn't be dating him now"

"Wow thats fucking perfect. Maybe I should have left a note or something"He mumbled.

I just shrugged "So how is Amber? I feel completely bad. I mean I lost my grandpa last year. It was horrible"

"Shes taking it hard. She cant stop crying. I'm actually spending the night with her tonight. I'm going back there in like a half an hour"

"You're really great when it comes to support"I smiled.

"I can be a total softy"He said with a light laugh and then started spreading the jelly on his sandwich. "So I'm guessing you're going to be spending the next few days with Eric like 24/7 because we leave for tour?"

"Thats the plan. I mean he is my boyfriend. I love being with him. He treats me the way a girlfriend wants to be treated"

John just nodded not looking up as he was occupied with making his PB&J.

"Wanna know what else you caused by leaving me?"I asked with a light laugh

"Oh great, there's more?"He mumbled.

"Yes, but you probably wont care, but I'm going to share anyway since I have to talk to your mom about it later "

"Go on"John said looking up at me as he was now spreading the peanut butter.

"I'm moving into the dorms for the next semester"I said simply

"What?! No you are absolutely not"He said shaking his head as he placed his sandwich down on the counter again and stared straight at me.

"Its already arranged. My parents talked to the dean and everything"I shrugged

"How did I cause this?"He asked breathing in and out slowly.

"I didn't want to live in the same house as you any longer" I said softly.

"Aubrey you cant, I don't want you to"he said with a sigh and looked down

"Whats it matter anyway? You're going to be gone more then half my semester. And its only a trial. I want to see if I like it"

"I don't want you around those guys 24/7"He said shaking his head.

I couldn't help but laugh

"This isn't funny"He said seriously.

"Yes it is, you act more like my boyfriend then Eric. Eric saw first hand how the guys there flirt with me, but he has no problem that I'm going to be living there. He thinks its a great idea"

"Did you ever think that maybe Eric's just happy you wont be living in the same house as me?"

"No"I said thinking about the point he was making.

"Aubs look, I mean if I was Eric, and my girlfriend lived with another guy I wouldn't be cool with it at all."

"Maybe"I said with a shrug

"I don't want you living there"He said shaking his head.

"Every things going to be fine. You shouldn't even care"I said with a light laugh

"But thats the thing. I do"He mumbled. "I thought I was making EVERYTHING obvious. But I guess not"He said as he put his PB&J together

"Care to explain?"I asked as I just put my pencil down.

"I don't usually fuck girls for no reason"He mumbled as he took a bite of his sandwich and walked out of the kitchen.

THIS BOY CONFUSED ME.

But on the bright side, I wasn't as mad anymore. Actually I wasn't at all. Its nice to know John wasn't planning on ditching me in the morning. Its nice to know hes not such a big asshole anymore. Its great to know how much I love this kid. Yes love.....

My phone started frantically vibrating on the kitchen table breaking me from thought and I answered it after I looked at the caller Id

"Hey Eric"I smiled.

"Hey beautiful, I want to see you"He said and I could tell he was smiling

"I just saw you" I laughed

"I know, but I want you to stay with me forever"He whined

"I'm doing homework"I smiled.

"How about you bring it over here and stay with me tonight?"

"I have school in the morning"I said as I picked up my pencil

"Ill drive you"He chuckled.

"Alright fine. But just because you called me beautiful"I laughed.

He chuckled. "See you in ten?"

"Sure"I said as I couldn't stop smiling. What was it about Eric that I loved so much?

"Love you"He said softly.

"Love you too"I said confidently and hung up. I stared at my phone in my hands. Tonight I was going to tell Eric everything. Everything thats happened between me and John. He is my boyfriend and he deserves to know.

The funny thing was, my heart was now beating for the both of them. Not just John anymore.

But John had the bigger half.