You Had Me Wishing We Were Something

Its now been three months. obviously I haven't spoken to John. Not once. But Eric? Almost everyday.

We weren't officially dating. But we were "Together"

We just didn't make that whole commitment thing, we were taking things slow, like we always do.

No one really knew we talked so much, obviously some of the guys knew we were still close since he did come down and visit me. Eric promised me he didn't tell anyone we slept together. He actually didn't tell them anything though, not even that we were 'together'.

Eric had a girlfriend down there....

Yes he was dating someone that wasn't me. Yes he technically in a way was cheating on her with me. I mean it wasn't really cheating since we couldn't really see each other.

I pretty much actually told him to get a girlfriend. He refused in the beginning but then listened to my reasoning.

I mean I didn't really want people to think he was hung up on me. I mean it is pretty obvious he is. And even though John doesn't want me...Me and Eric both know John would get mad if we were together. Again.

John is Eric's best friend and them fighting isn't always the greatest thing. Eric told me since I've been gone, him and John are as close as ever. Obviously he wasn't implying it meanly.

The funny thing is, knowing Eric has a girlfriend makes me want him more then ever

This girl Eric's dating I guess is pretty cool... Eric doesn't really talk about her. I mean I don't see why he would. But when he talks about her, he seems to like her a lot. It scares me sometimes.

Once I just snapped and he kept trying to calm me down while saying he loved me and only me and I just kept saying over and over again break up with her.

But the funny thing was, he wouldn't.

I was starting to think my whole idea was starting to back fire.. I made Eric find a girlfriend.

I think in the beginning I did that because I wanted him to see if he could find someone better. I wanted him to find someone better. I could never fully give my heart to him. But when it got to the point were he found a girl he seemed to like, I snapped. I realized I didn't want that.

Ive just been confusing myself lately.

I bet all his goes back to John though. Why I made Eric get a girlfriend. When I suggested the idea, I didn't think he'd actually find one. One hes been dating for like what two months now?

I groaned and picked up my suitcase off my bed and threw it on the floor.

About two seconds later my phone started going off and I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my cell phone. I didn't even have to look at the caller id to know who it was.

"Are you excited?"He asked as soon as I answered my phone.

"No not really."I mumbled as I sat down on top of my suitcase.

"Awe why?"he asked

"I hate flying so far"I sighed.

"But you get to see me"He chuckled

"The only good part.. So hows Amy?" I asked with a little bit of annoyance. Amy was his so called girlfriend.

"Aubs, You know obviously when you get out here its going to be all about you. I don't love her. Shes just a distraction. You know that"

"I know, but I don't know, I feel jealous" I said in honesty as I started playing with my suitcase zipper. Why am I going back there? Do I even love Eric enough to go back there? Ill always love Eric though, no matter what. I think the only reason I'm going back there is to make him happy. I mean that has to mean something.

Or at least I hope I'm only going back there to make him happy...

"You have nothing to be jealous about"He said softly

"But Eric. After like what two months of dating her, you're just going to go, sorry I wanna break up? If I was her I would seriously kill you"

"Well I mean she is a great girlfriend," I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth."But you're even better, I care more about you. I know I'm not really being fair, but with you, every things just so different. Its like every things in place, the way it should be"

"Eric I have to go, my moms calling me, ill call you back"I said hanging up, not even waiting for his response

I let out a little scream, dropped my phone on the floor, and then climbed off my suitcase onto the floor and just layed down on the carpet, burying my face in it.

Why cant I like him as much as he likes me?

Oh yeah that's right, there's a certain jackass still in the way.

~~

"I love it"I said as I looked around my new college dorm room.

"Its nice"My mom smiled. My mom and dad flew out with me to Arizona wanting to be with me on my first day moving into my dorm.

"Sweety, I wish you weren't so far from home. Again"My mom said a little sadly

"We miss you"My father finished for her.

"I know" I said with a sigh "If I don't like it here, you know ill be home in a heart beat."I said reassuringly

"Did you want me to help you unpack a little before we go visit?"My mom asked putting her arm around my shoulders.

"Visit? Visit what?"I asked confused

"Cindy of course"My mom chuckled "While I'm here I need to say hi to my long lost friend"

"What?"My eyes going up in shock. "Can I stay here?" I didn't want to set foot in Johns house. What if hes home.

"Honey, I know you and John didn't exactly have a good breakup, but its time to move on, not hold grudges. It seemed for the best"

"I guess"I mumbled

~~

I just wanted to be with Eric. I wish I was with Eric right now. Not standing on the O'Callaghan's doorstep as my dad rang the door bell.

I started fidgeting with my hands as the door was swung open and a very excited Cindy opened the door, my mom and her hugging immediately.

They started talking to each other so fast I missed everything they were saying.

We all stepped inside. I looked around the house, obviously it still looked the same, its only been four months, but for some reason I just thought I'd be different.

Me and my dad just stood there watching the two in amazement. They looked and acted like best friends. Friends that looked as if they completed each other.

My eyes darted to the stair case as I could hear foot steps jogging down.

Of course, with my luck, it was none other then the one I didn't want to see, the one that could make me cry with the snap of a finger

"Mom, have you seen my car keys?"He asked as he reached the bottom. Ignoring the fact that my parents were there...along with me.

"And where do you think you're going?"Cindy asked turning her attention to John.

I tried my hardest not to stare at him. I couldn't tare my eyes away. Here I was again, convincing myself not to break out in tears.

"Amber's"He said simply and I broke yet again.

"We have company as you can see and you are not going anywhere"Cindy said with force.

John sighed and mumbled "Fine" and that was when I caught his eye.

We just stared at each other for about 10 seconds and then my parents started talking to him.

This was going to be a horrible night.