Lost and Found

Frank’s POV

I fucking hate moving. I think everyone thinks I’m used to it, but I still hate it. We, me and my mom, have moved like, ten times since I was five. Okay maybe not ten, but I’m pretty sure this is atleast sixth time. I have never had any friends, ever. In school it’s always the same, they say I’m some messed up emo kid who should go and kill myself. And when I try to ingore them they beat the shit outta me. In home I always have to make up some bad lies or just try to stay in my room so that mom wouldn’t find out. She had her own problems to care about anyway. She told me I’ll love it here in New Jersey. Yeah right, why would it be any different in here?

“Isn’t here beatiful?” I heard mom ask while I was sitting on our frontyard under the big tree that was in there.

I nodded my head, “yeah, it is.” I could almost hear mom smiling.

“Oh yea, this is our new beginning, honey”, she sighed happily. That’s what she says every single time. ‘New beginning’. For me, it’s never different, and I bet that it’s not so different for her either. Mom has these problems with guys, you know. She and my dad broke up when I was five.... when we moved first time. Mom haven’t had any good relationships after that, they all turn up being an assholes. Daddy lives in New York. He kept calling me, writing me letters and so until I was about eleven. Then he just didn’t call me so often, sometimes when he did he sounded so out of it. I think he was drinking and making drugs. He still sends me birthday presents and stuff like that, but I can’t remember the last time I talked to him.

“Frank, is everything okay?” oh, I forgot mom was still there.

“Huh, yeah, everything’s fine”, I said and forced a smile.

Mom smiled back “That’s good. I’m going to go bed now, I need to be up early tomorrow when I start working in that new place. G’night sweetie”

“G’night mom.”

Then she left me alone, sitting under that big tree. It started to get cold out here. I tied my misfits hoodie tigher around me and sighed. Tomorrow I will start in a new school. Tomorrow I will get a new people to hate me. And I don’t need to do nothing but fucking walk to that stupid place, and I know they’ll hate me immediately when they see me. Just ‘cause I look different. I sighed once more and let my eyes travel around the neighbourhood. All the houses looked just the same. All frontyards had those pretty flower-beds and trees.

And I fucking hated it.

I decided I can aswell go to bed to, I don’t want to look like some freaking zombie at my first day in school. I can’t wait ‘till I can get out of highschool, it’s so awful. It wasn’t better in kindergarden or primary school, and I don’t think it will ever get any better in any school. I’m doomed to be alone all my life, with no friends. Or girlfriends, I thought when I stared myself from the mirror that were in my room. ‘Cause hey, look at me. I’m fat, I’m short, I’m ugly, the only thing I’ve ever liked about myself is my hair. But at the moment it looks as awful as every other thing in me. I quickly stripped to my boxers and climbed under my covers.
I hate moving. I hate school. I hate people. I hate dad. I hate Jersey. I hate me.

I hate life.