Lost and Found
Hurt
Frank’s POV
Ow.
I just woke up with this unbelieveble pain. I tried to move, but it hurt just too fucking much. What the hell has happened to me? I could taste the blood in my mouth and I sure as hell could feel how my whole body aches. But how come I can’t remember why......?
Then I realised that I couldn’t even remember how I fell asleep or where I fell asleep. I opened my heavy eye lids, trying to focus as it was so dark in the room I was. I think I was inside seeing that it wasn’t cold in here. My eyes didn’t seem to be able to focus, or maybe it’s just too dark. I tried to sat up but ended up gasping in pain. Why am I in so much pain? And where was I? Oh God what if someone has raped me and then brought me to his place? ..... or her.
No-one has raped you, sucker, you’re not good enought for someone even bothering to rape you.
Well I think I’m right. And sure I would remember if someone has raped me, yeah, I think I would. Maybe I’ve just fell over and hit my head or something like that. Though why does it hurt so much then?
The pain was growing worse with every minute I spent just laying there, thinking. But I couldn’t move ‘cause it hurt so much that I saw white light flashing in front of my eyes every time I tried to move even a little. Fuck. This is so not going to work. If just someone would tell me where the fuck was I!
“FUCKING FUCK!” I heard someona yell from somewhere, after that I heard footsteps coming my way. The guy, whoever they was, was propably drunk. Bandly. I could tell from the sound of them crashing at every furniture in the house I was. But oh my God, he, she, it or whatever they is was coming here! What if they want to beat me up or something, I didn’t really think that I could stand anymore pain that I already feel. I started to panic a little, facing the fact that I was totally helpless seeing that I couldn’t move ‘cause of the pain.
It was still dark and I couldn’t see who just stepped in the room. I heard them moving towards the couch I was laying (yeah, I figured I was on a couch, did I tell you yet? No, I think I didn’t). Then, without any warning they throw themself on me. From the yelp they let I could tell that ‘them’ was a man.
“What the fuck -?” the man stood up and just seconds after I heard a click and suddenly I could see again. Well, it was propably ‘cause the man put lights on. Whatever.
I looked up, mentaly preparing myself to see some cold hearted murderer, but then I was suddenly face to face with.....
“G-Gerard?” I gasped, looking wide eyed into his hazel ones.
“What the fuck are you doing on my fucking couch?” Gerard asked, his voice weak but cold. What did I tell you? Drunkie.
“I- I don’t really know.... am I in your house?” I answered... well more like asked, a bit confused now when I became to think about what he said.
“How come you can lay on our couch not knowing what the hell are you doing here?” Gerard spat at me, weird look on his face. Thought I’ve known him just for a week he didn’t seem to be guy who could act like... like this. He was scaring me to tell you the truth.
“I –I don’t really know, Gerard. I was out f- for a walk and- and then I can’t remember, I just w- woke up here with this pain and-“ I was cut of by Gerard suddenly laughing, but not in a friendly way.
“Stop stuttering, you sound stupid”, he laughed loudly. I looked at the floor, not really knowing what to say. Why was he acting like this? I felt tears trying to fill my eyes and I fluttered them away. I didn’t want to start crying.
“So, are you going to just lay on our fucking couch for the whole fucking night?” Gerard asked, this time seriously, but his eyes were so cold... And it hurt. It really did hurt to see his eyes like that.
“I – no, no I think I’m going, then...” I muttered, trying to sat up, but ended up almost screaming in pain again. Gerard rolled his eyes, grapping my hand and pulling my up roughtly. This time I did scream. It hurt so much I swear I saw stars. Gerard just kept looking at me coldly and pushed me towards the door, causing me to fell over on the floor, gasping from pain.
“GERARD! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?” someone screamed from somewhere. I lifted my gaze but couldn’t see anything. My vision was suddenly gone blurry again, only this time it was because of tears that were now filling my eyes, tying to make their way down my cheeks. I didn’t let them thought, I didn’t want them to know just how weak I was...
“Gerard I asked you a fucking guestion! And where the fuck were you anyway?” the voice souted again.
“I don’t need to explain my goings to you, Mikey. I’m older...” Gerard muttered, sitting on the couch I was lying just minutes ago.
“Oh yeah? Well sometimes it’s hard to believe”, Mikey spat, staring at Gerard. Gerard just sighed, shaking his head. Mikey turned his gaze towards me, sighing too.
“You okay, Frank? I was so worried...”
“I – I’m f-fine”, I gulped.
Just don’t start crying, Frank... don’t show them how pansy you are, not now when it seems you may get some friends....
Yeah, friends. Maybe I was right after all. They’ll just pretend to be my friends and then they’ll hurt me, like anyone else, that’s what I said remember? I was right. And I have only known them for a week... Mikey took few steps towards me, smiling sadly.
“Frank, your cuts are bleeding again. C’mon I can clean them up and give you some painkil-...”
“N-no, it’s okay, I was g-going anyway...” I said cutting him off, but couldn’t help but raise my hand to my face. When I took it of I saw my hand was covered with blood. I must have seemed awfull.
Mikey looked like he was going to say something, but I cut him off again, this time by raising my now bloody hand to mention him not to say anything. I stumblet at my feets and started walking towards the door, witch I hoped went to the hallway. I opened the frontdoor and slowly walked into the dark, cold night air. At least it wasn’t raining anymore.
I just left the door open, not bothering to shut it. Nobody was trying to follow me.
Not Mikey.
Not Gerard.
Nobody.
Just like it had always been. Like it will always be. Nobody. Just me, alone against the world.
Forever.
Ow.
I just woke up with this unbelieveble pain. I tried to move, but it hurt just too fucking much. What the hell has happened to me? I could taste the blood in my mouth and I sure as hell could feel how my whole body aches. But how come I can’t remember why......?
Then I realised that I couldn’t even remember how I fell asleep or where I fell asleep. I opened my heavy eye lids, trying to focus as it was so dark in the room I was. I think I was inside seeing that it wasn’t cold in here. My eyes didn’t seem to be able to focus, or maybe it’s just too dark. I tried to sat up but ended up gasping in pain. Why am I in so much pain? And where was I? Oh God what if someone has raped me and then brought me to his place? ..... or her.
No-one has raped you, sucker, you’re not good enought for someone even bothering to rape you.
Well I think I’m right. And sure I would remember if someone has raped me, yeah, I think I would. Maybe I’ve just fell over and hit my head or something like that. Though why does it hurt so much then?
The pain was growing worse with every minute I spent just laying there, thinking. But I couldn’t move ‘cause it hurt so much that I saw white light flashing in front of my eyes every time I tried to move even a little. Fuck. This is so not going to work. If just someone would tell me where the fuck was I!
“FUCKING FUCK!” I heard someona yell from somewhere, after that I heard footsteps coming my way. The guy, whoever they was, was propably drunk. Bandly. I could tell from the sound of them crashing at every furniture in the house I was. But oh my God, he, she, it or whatever they is was coming here! What if they want to beat me up or something, I didn’t really think that I could stand anymore pain that I already feel. I started to panic a little, facing the fact that I was totally helpless seeing that I couldn’t move ‘cause of the pain.
It was still dark and I couldn’t see who just stepped in the room. I heard them moving towards the couch I was laying (yeah, I figured I was on a couch, did I tell you yet? No, I think I didn’t). Then, without any warning they throw themself on me. From the yelp they let I could tell that ‘them’ was a man.
“What the fuck -?” the man stood up and just seconds after I heard a click and suddenly I could see again. Well, it was propably ‘cause the man put lights on. Whatever.
I looked up, mentaly preparing myself to see some cold hearted murderer, but then I was suddenly face to face with.....
“G-Gerard?” I gasped, looking wide eyed into his hazel ones.
“What the fuck are you doing on my fucking couch?” Gerard asked, his voice weak but cold. What did I tell you? Drunkie.
“I- I don’t really know.... am I in your house?” I answered... well more like asked, a bit confused now when I became to think about what he said.
“How come you can lay on our couch not knowing what the hell are you doing here?” Gerard spat at me, weird look on his face. Thought I’ve known him just for a week he didn’t seem to be guy who could act like... like this. He was scaring me to tell you the truth.
“I –I don’t really know, Gerard. I was out f- for a walk and- and then I can’t remember, I just w- woke up here with this pain and-“ I was cut of by Gerard suddenly laughing, but not in a friendly way.
“Stop stuttering, you sound stupid”, he laughed loudly. I looked at the floor, not really knowing what to say. Why was he acting like this? I felt tears trying to fill my eyes and I fluttered them away. I didn’t want to start crying.
“So, are you going to just lay on our fucking couch for the whole fucking night?” Gerard asked, this time seriously, but his eyes were so cold... And it hurt. It really did hurt to see his eyes like that.
“I – no, no I think I’m going, then...” I muttered, trying to sat up, but ended up almost screaming in pain again. Gerard rolled his eyes, grapping my hand and pulling my up roughtly. This time I did scream. It hurt so much I swear I saw stars. Gerard just kept looking at me coldly and pushed me towards the door, causing me to fell over on the floor, gasping from pain.
“GERARD! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?” someone screamed from somewhere. I lifted my gaze but couldn’t see anything. My vision was suddenly gone blurry again, only this time it was because of tears that were now filling my eyes, tying to make their way down my cheeks. I didn’t let them thought, I didn’t want them to know just how weak I was...
“Gerard I asked you a fucking guestion! And where the fuck were you anyway?” the voice souted again.
“I don’t need to explain my goings to you, Mikey. I’m older...” Gerard muttered, sitting on the couch I was lying just minutes ago.
“Oh yeah? Well sometimes it’s hard to believe”, Mikey spat, staring at Gerard. Gerard just sighed, shaking his head. Mikey turned his gaze towards me, sighing too.
“You okay, Frank? I was so worried...”
“I – I’m f-fine”, I gulped.
Just don’t start crying, Frank... don’t show them how pansy you are, not now when it seems you may get some friends....
Yeah, friends. Maybe I was right after all. They’ll just pretend to be my friends and then they’ll hurt me, like anyone else, that’s what I said remember? I was right. And I have only known them for a week... Mikey took few steps towards me, smiling sadly.
“Frank, your cuts are bleeding again. C’mon I can clean them up and give you some painkil-...”
“N-no, it’s okay, I was g-going anyway...” I said cutting him off, but couldn’t help but raise my hand to my face. When I took it of I saw my hand was covered with blood. I must have seemed awfull.
Mikey looked like he was going to say something, but I cut him off again, this time by raising my now bloody hand to mention him not to say anything. I stumblet at my feets and started walking towards the door, witch I hoped went to the hallway. I opened the frontdoor and slowly walked into the dark, cold night air. At least it wasn’t raining anymore.
I just left the door open, not bothering to shut it. Nobody was trying to follow me.
Not Mikey.
Not Gerard.
Nobody.
Just like it had always been. Like it will always be. Nobody. Just me, alone against the world.
Forever.