Nevermind Me

By eight a.m. I was up and ready to go. I’d been dressed and awake at seven and spent the last hour making sure everything was situated at my house. The thrill of a real family vacation was by far the most exciting thing to me. It was a thrill I’ve never received. Maybe to someone else it might not have been such a big deal, but I didn’t have a family of my own. I had a mother and an evil sister; not ideal traveling people. But the Jonas’; they were ideal to me. I couldn’t wait for the week to begin.
“You ready mom?” I called into the house after stuffing my luggage into my trunk. On my own, I could have everything done in an hour, tops. But my mother didn’t share my traits. I tried not to hold it against her but sometimes two beauty queens was too much.
“Just making sure I have everything.” She called back, her standard phrase that usually led to another bag being packed. Not this time.
“You do, let’s go.” I ushered her out of the door, locking it so that it was final. She sighed, knowing my trick but saying nothing. She knew her habits as well as I did. We climbed into the car, listening to Beyonce’s B’day cd, per her request.
“We pickin’ up Taylor?” Mom asked as she typed away on her phone.

“Yeah, then we’re headed over to Denise’s house. Expect to—”

“Oh lord,” She sighed, interrupting me. I frowned, looking towards her as she stared exasperatedly at her phone. It wasn’t like her to actually show me she wasn’t paying attention. If anything, she’d stay silent and nod, letting me talk mindlessly. She glanced at me and shook her head. “Your sister is really going off the deep end about you and Joseph.”

My stomach dropped as she sighed again. If only I’d told my own mother. It wasn’t as easy as someone would like to make it. I’d be admitting to her something so shameful I didn’t even accept it. Just because I loved Joe didn’t make my unease go away. I didn’t regret my decision, but I regret how I let things turn out as my feelings developed. I’d had many chances to claim Joe before Valerie had gotten him officially; I just never stepped up to the plate. I’d been a coward and a hypocrite and this was how I was paying for my lack of courage for love.

But as time went on, it was getting harder to keep feelings to myself…

“…I’m getting sick of trying to shut her up. Jesus, I wish you two would just speak again, Julie.”

I blinked, realizing my mom had been talking. I breathed out, trying to clear my thoughts and process what she said. “Uhh. Um, mom that’s…That’s not going to happen. It’s…some things are just better left unsaid.”

When she sighed I felt like I was letting her down, but I didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t like I had a million options. But this was the bed I’d made and now I had to lie in it. At least I wasn’t lying there on my own, though…
Immediately I chastised myself for the thought, knowing I wasn’t focusing.

“But Honey, I don’t get it. I don’t like the idea that my babies aren’t talking over a boy.” She shook her head and all I could do was sigh silently to myself.

“He’s not just a boy,” I muttered softly.

-&&-

Taylor, my mom, and I pulled into the Jonas’ driveway, admiring the RV that we were going to riding in. It was about the size of the tour bus we spent last summer on but the fact that this was a family vacation made it so much cooler. I felt as if the idea of a portable home was completely new.
We got out the car to be greeted by James and Frankie, who were flying a remote control helicopter in the front yard.
“You wanna’ try, Jules ?” Frankie asked as the helicopter zipped around.

“No thanks, Love. Maybe later on today, you know I have to make sure Joe didn’t break himself.” I joked, getting both boys to just nod in agreement, knowing it was reasonable.

“What about you, Tay?” James asked. She smiled, nodding and heading over to handle the whizzing machine. Waving to the three of them, I followed my mom into the house, smiling at the scent of chocolate chip cookies.

“I’m hooooooooooooommmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee !” I yelled, making my mother cringe and me laugh. I waited for the response I knew that was to come.

“Theereee goooeees my baaaaaaby !” Joe yelled, bounding down the steps. When he got halfway down, I raced away in the direction of the living room. Right in front of the sofa, he collided into me, sending the both of us tumbling over the arm and eventually onto the carpet in a giggly heap.

“I can’t believe how silly the two of you are together; it’s unbearable.” I hear my mother say as she goes in search for Denise. I laugh harder as Joe licks my cheek. No one is in the room with us and if you’d walk in, you’d only see our legs poking from around the chair.

“I don’t understand why you run, Jules. I catch you every time.” He sits up, straddling me, making it mighty difficult to get up. I tried and he grabbed my wrists, smirking evilly. When he winked, I knew what was coming.

“Don’t.You.DARE !” On the last word his hands went at it, executing the tickling of a lifetime. I giggled and screamed and yelped and clawed at his fast moving fingers, begging for it to end.

“NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK !” I yelled at the top of my lungs, tears streaming down my face and full fledged laughter pouring from my mouth. Those bounding footsteps were music to my ears as he came to my rescue, tackling Joe. I rolled over, coughing and trying to breathe again. Once I had regained a slower heart rate, I turned to watch my two favorite guys in the world wrestle in their mother’s living room. Already forgetting the attack that had been unleashed on me, I joined in on the tussle.

“The first person to start that in the RV is getting put on the side of the I-10.” I heard Denise said. We all stopped with a laugh, out of breath and starting to sweat. “Look at what you guys are turning my sweetest girl into. Joseph, Nicholas; you guys are a horrible influence.”

“We’ve just made her better. She’s not breakable anymore. See: Nick punched my arm, making me yelp and send a flurry of fists into his arm.

“Feisty, ain’t she?” Joe winked, nodding his head. Denise rolled her eyes and left the three of us on our own. “We’re trying to be out of the house in another thirty minutes. Do your last sweep of everything.” She called over her shoulder. With a sigh, we got up and headed for the stairs. The front door was open and from it I spotted Taylor having a blast with the helicopter so I let her be. The three of us continued our way to Nick’s room, plopping on the bed like second nature. I laid on my stomach and Joe managed to rest his head on my back, Nick sitting on my legs.

“You know, beating you guys up just tires me out.” Joe proclaimed. I rolled my eyes, blindly reaching back to smack him.

“Yeah right. Nick had you in three seconds. Hit the gym, you lame.”

“Ouch, Hon. Your honesty cuts like a knife.”

“Ahh, can’t be mad at the truth, Joe.” Nick smirked, kissing his exposed bicep. “I’ll be whooping your butt all over stage soon.”

“Like hell.” Joe muttered, making us laugh.

&&

“It’s GO time, Baby !” Frankie roared as he ran out the house, James following his lead. The two boys whooped and hollered all the way into the RV out front.

“Goodbye, House ! Goodbye, Life!” Joe cried, waving to the house we were pouring out of. He tearfully kissed his hand and blew it to the house. You could only roll your eyes to something like that.

“Taylor, get your friend.” I joked, continuing towards the RV. She laughed before refusing.

“Nick, get your brother.”

I looked at Nick as he looked at Joe before turning and looking in his mother’s direction. “Denise, get you son.” Everyone laughed as Joe wailed.

“Why doesn’t anyone want to claim me?!”

“Love you, Joe!” I winked at him as I climbed into the vehicle.

Everyone made their way on, Paul being the last on, being the one to lock up the house. I sat at the booth that had the view of the street. The sun streamed through the window and I smiled, ready to pack as much fun I could into this vacation. It was time to ourselves. No Valerie, no concerts, and most of all, no interruptions. This was down time. But most of all, this was the calm before the storm, because after this trip, nothing would be the same. That had to be the worst thing to know.