The New Beginning
I'm Not Okay
I woke up to beeping noises. I already had a headache and this sure as hell wasn't helping. I slowly opened my eyes. " Why the hell is it so bright and white in here?" I asked myself. I sat up and tried to throw the blankets off of me, but something tugged my arm. It hurt . I turned to look at my arm, I was hooked up to an I.V tube. I hate needles. I absolutely hate them, even though I cut sometimes, I hate needles. Fuck, now that I see that tube in me, I just realize I'm hooked up to a bunch of other tubes. And one of those monitored my heart and made that annoying beeping noises.
I had one wrapped around my face and going up my nose. It kept blowing air up my nose. I took that one off.
" I know how to breath," I said to myself
I sat there in that bed just looking around. Why was I in this hospital anyways? I didn't have any flowers anywhere except for a vase of dead roses, which by the way were beautiful, I digress. No teddy bears, or cards or anything. " Don't I have a family?" I asked myself?
Just then a lady walked in. I looked up at her. She seemed surprised to see me. She had a white blouse, (What's with everyone and white?) a yellow long skirt that had bright yellow flowers on it. Her chocolate brown hair was wrapped into a bun and she had tiny black rectangular glasses.
She had almost dropped a vase of yellow flowers that I swear she must have picked from her skirt. We starred blankly at each other for about five seconds. I hate awkward silence. It's so, well, awkward
" You're awake!" she exclaimed.
" Er, no shit sherlock," I wanted to say, but I just nodded my head slowly.
" How do you feel?" she asked as she put the small vase of flowers by the window.
" Like a guinea pig at a lab," I said. I never took my eyes off her.
She chuckled. " Sure laugh at my despair," I thought.
" I'll go get the doctor," she said as she walked out. Who the hell was that? And is she the only one bringing me flowers? Is she my mom. Wait a minute. Why can't I remember who my own mom is?!? Now that I think about it, why can't I remember anything? How long have I been asleep? How long have I- - Wait! Who am I? Wat's my name? Oh my god, why can't I just remember? The doctor and the lady walked in.
" I can't remember anything!' I almost shrieked.
" The doctor nodded, that's to be expected, but don't worry, it's not permanent. You should have you memory back in no time," he said as he looked at a clipboard at the end of my bed. His calmness was making me mad. How can he just stand there when I don't even know who I am?
" You're a lucky girl Roxanne." said the doctor,
" Who the hell is Roxanne?" I asked.
" Why you are," he said.
" No, it's not I would have remembered it i it was,"
" Sweetie, that is your name," Said the lady.
I looked up at her disparity glowing in my eyes.
" Are you my mom?" I asked.
She turned her head and closed her eyes
" Sweetie, your mom's in prison, for prostitution and possession of drugs,"
" Then where's my dad?"
The doctor looked up at me. " He- I'm afraid your, your father died on impact,''
" What? On impact?" I was confused
" You were in a car accident, Hun. Your car was hit by a semi," She said with a tear trailing down her cheek. " Your car flipped three times after that before slamming into a tree,"
" Your dad died on impact, but you survived, we don't know how but you did," said the lady
The doctor pulled the I.V out of my arm.
I had one wrapped around my face and going up my nose. It kept blowing air up my nose. I took that one off.
" I know how to breath," I said to myself
I sat there in that bed just looking around. Why was I in this hospital anyways? I didn't have any flowers anywhere except for a vase of dead roses, which by the way were beautiful, I digress. No teddy bears, or cards or anything. " Don't I have a family?" I asked myself?
Just then a lady walked in. I looked up at her. She seemed surprised to see me. She had a white blouse, (What's with everyone and white?) a yellow long skirt that had bright yellow flowers on it. Her chocolate brown hair was wrapped into a bun and she had tiny black rectangular glasses.
She had almost dropped a vase of yellow flowers that I swear she must have picked from her skirt. We starred blankly at each other for about five seconds. I hate awkward silence. It's so, well, awkward
" You're awake!" she exclaimed.
" Er, no shit sherlock," I wanted to say, but I just nodded my head slowly.
" How do you feel?" she asked as she put the small vase of flowers by the window.
" Like a guinea pig at a lab," I said. I never took my eyes off her.
She chuckled. " Sure laugh at my despair," I thought.
" I'll go get the doctor," she said as she walked out. Who the hell was that? And is she the only one bringing me flowers? Is she my mom. Wait a minute. Why can't I remember who my own mom is?!? Now that I think about it, why can't I remember anything? How long have I been asleep? How long have I- - Wait! Who am I? Wat's my name? Oh my god, why can't I just remember? The doctor and the lady walked in.
" I can't remember anything!' I almost shrieked.
" The doctor nodded, that's to be expected, but don't worry, it's not permanent. You should have you memory back in no time," he said as he looked at a clipboard at the end of my bed. His calmness was making me mad. How can he just stand there when I don't even know who I am?
" You're a lucky girl Roxanne." said the doctor,
" Who the hell is Roxanne?" I asked.
" Why you are," he said.
" No, it's not I would have remembered it i it was,"
" Sweetie, that is your name," Said the lady.
I looked up at her disparity glowing in my eyes.
" Are you my mom?" I asked.
She turned her head and closed her eyes
" Sweetie, your mom's in prison, for prostitution and possession of drugs,"
" Then where's my dad?"
The doctor looked up at me. " He- I'm afraid your, your father died on impact,''
" What? On impact?" I was confused
" You were in a car accident, Hun. Your car was hit by a semi," She said with a tear trailing down her cheek. " Your car flipped three times after that before slamming into a tree,"
" Your dad died on impact, but you survived, we don't know how but you did," said the lady
The doctor pulled the I.V out of my arm.