The New Beginning
Sweet blood stained tears
I tried to pull my leg back up to me but he held it.
"Please, don't run anymore,"he begged. I wiped my tears
"What does it matter. I can't rember anything besides that fucking song. And that's all I'll ever rember," I said. He let go of my leg and I scooted up to him.
"Hey; at least it's something," he said. He looked up at me. His smile wasn't there but his eyes were so calm, and warm.
"I don't care. I want to rember," I said. The tears were begining to come back.. Gerard put a hand on my back tracing small circles with his hand on it. I leaned against him. His scent overpowerd me as he wrapped his other arm around me. I felt a box of cigarattes as jacket pocket brushed agianst me.
"What did he say?" he asked quietly.
"That it doesn't look like I'll get it back unless something really bad happens that involves my surivaval being in dagerd and my brain is forced to rember," I said.
"What about that traffic you went through?" he asked with a raised eye brow as he pulled me back from him to look at me in the eye.
'That was nothing," I said.
"Rox, what if a car hit you then what? You would wind up back in the hospital with tubes shoved up you again. Or worse you'd go off to the black parade." he said
"Good, I'll march with my dad or where ever he is," I said.
"But we don't want you to go. Not just yet anyways. What will Franky do besides torture you? And Bob. He only sleeps good on that mattress without you, he'll start snoring again," he said with a smile.
"What do you guys care? Your not getting paid to have me hang out with you guys. To you I'm just another kid," I said.
"No, your more than that. You can't rmeber if you were a fan. And since you've known us since you woke up its not like we have another contest winner or something back here," he said. He was doing anything to get me to smile. He wiped a tear trailing down my cheek. For a minute I thought he was going to kiss me. He is pretty hot, but he's like my big brother. Then again I wouldn't mind if he did kiss me.
His cell phone rang. He let go of me and answerd it.
"Yah I got her, okay. Um, this court called Bluefield," he said then hung up.
"Come on we better get up and wait for the limo," he siad as he helped me up. when we got up he didn't let go of my hand. I looked up at him. He was looking for the car. I looked back down at my shoes. He squeezed my ahdn and I looked back up at him.
"When the limo gets here don't run off. I'm not chasing your ass all over the nieghborhood again," he said.
When the limo did get here everyone was silent. Except my uncel who was on his cell phone talking about some magazine. I sat dwon next to Mikey. He put a hand on my shoulder.
"You okay?" he asked.
"No," I wasn't okay. I was anything but okay. The drive back was long and quiet. No one talked and no music played. AS we pulled up to the bus Marcy rushed to the limo and opend up my uncles door, enveloping him in thousands of questions.
Ray opend the door and we all slowly piled out. I went straight in the bus and went to the mattress above the drivers seat. I closed the curtains. My picture os my dad smiled up at me.
I pulled it off the wall and touched me and my dads face. Tears splatterd onto the picture. I wiped i off before it could hurt the picture. I slowly layed down and held the picture.
"I'm sorry Dad, I'm so sorry," I whispered to the picture. I waited ofr a reply like my dad in the picture would start talking to me and tell me verything was going to be okay. Am I going crazy? Is this all a bad dream? If it is I want to wake up.
I layed on my side, tears dripping sideways
"I'm not Oookkaaayyyy," I began to sing
"I'm not oookaaayyaayy."
"What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?" That's all I could sing because I began to sob again.
"Please, don't run anymore,"he begged. I wiped my tears
"What does it matter. I can't rember anything besides that fucking song. And that's all I'll ever rember," I said. He let go of my leg and I scooted up to him.
"Hey; at least it's something," he said. He looked up at me. His smile wasn't there but his eyes were so calm, and warm.
"I don't care. I want to rember," I said. The tears were begining to come back.. Gerard put a hand on my back tracing small circles with his hand on it. I leaned against him. His scent overpowerd me as he wrapped his other arm around me. I felt a box of cigarattes as jacket pocket brushed agianst me.
"What did he say?" he asked quietly.
"That it doesn't look like I'll get it back unless something really bad happens that involves my surivaval being in dagerd and my brain is forced to rember," I said.
"What about that traffic you went through?" he asked with a raised eye brow as he pulled me back from him to look at me in the eye.
'That was nothing," I said.
"Rox, what if a car hit you then what? You would wind up back in the hospital with tubes shoved up you again. Or worse you'd go off to the black parade." he said
"Good, I'll march with my dad or where ever he is," I said.
"But we don't want you to go. Not just yet anyways. What will Franky do besides torture you? And Bob. He only sleeps good on that mattress without you, he'll start snoring again," he said with a smile.
"What do you guys care? Your not getting paid to have me hang out with you guys. To you I'm just another kid," I said.
"No, your more than that. You can't rmeber if you were a fan. And since you've known us since you woke up its not like we have another contest winner or something back here," he said. He was doing anything to get me to smile. He wiped a tear trailing down my cheek. For a minute I thought he was going to kiss me. He is pretty hot, but he's like my big brother. Then again I wouldn't mind if he did kiss me.
His cell phone rang. He let go of me and answerd it.
"Yah I got her, okay. Um, this court called Bluefield," he said then hung up.
"Come on we better get up and wait for the limo," he siad as he helped me up. when we got up he didn't let go of my hand. I looked up at him. He was looking for the car. I looked back down at my shoes. He squeezed my ahdn and I looked back up at him.
"When the limo gets here don't run off. I'm not chasing your ass all over the nieghborhood again," he said.
When the limo did get here everyone was silent. Except my uncel who was on his cell phone talking about some magazine. I sat dwon next to Mikey. He put a hand on my shoulder.
"You okay?" he asked.
"No," I wasn't okay. I was anything but okay. The drive back was long and quiet. No one talked and no music played. AS we pulled up to the bus Marcy rushed to the limo and opend up my uncles door, enveloping him in thousands of questions.
Ray opend the door and we all slowly piled out. I went straight in the bus and went to the mattress above the drivers seat. I closed the curtains. My picture os my dad smiled up at me.
I pulled it off the wall and touched me and my dads face. Tears splatterd onto the picture. I wiped i off before it could hurt the picture. I slowly layed down and held the picture.
"I'm sorry Dad, I'm so sorry," I whispered to the picture. I waited ofr a reply like my dad in the picture would start talking to me and tell me verything was going to be okay. Am I going crazy? Is this all a bad dream? If it is I want to wake up.
I layed on my side, tears dripping sideways
"I'm not Oookkaaayyyy," I began to sing
"I'm not oookaaayyaayy."
"What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?" That's all I could sing because I began to sob again.