What If I Told You I Love You

The season was starting to wind down fast seeing as it was already April 1st. The Blues only had a couple games left but things were looking good for them. They had turned their whole season around, going on a winning run and moving up in the standings. They were now only a few wins from securing their playoff spot and the city was abuzz with all of the talk. TJ was starting to get recognized by people everywhere. It made it harder to go out but that didn't stop us or keep us holed up in the house.

It was a beautiful Spring day and TJ and I were taking advantage of it, deciding to walk from his apartment to the Scottrade center. It wasn't a long walk but enough that we had some time to just be with each other before he had practice. We walked down the street, TJ with a hat hung over his eyes, and his head bent towards me, whispering sweet things in my ear. He was being such a cute boyfriend, holding my hand, opening doors, being the closest to the street, you know the little things you always dreamed that your boyfriend would do for you.

We were stopped at a light, waiting for the light to tell us we could walk across the street, when TJ just randomly pulled me into his arms. He cradled me against his chest, rocking me side to side as people, females to be exact, glared enviously. I could tell they knew who he was but I didn't let them bother me because I was the one he was holding, not them.

I pulled out of TJ's arms, grabbing his hand and swinging it along as we walked, across the street, towards the Scottrade center. Our hands hung loosely together but tight enough that our fingers stayed interlocked. I looked into the shop windows we passed, curious to see what was new, since the stores were starting to get things in for Summer. I felt TJ's hand drop from mine and I turned towards him, only to see a brunette clutching him in her death hold.

"TeeJaay," she squealed in a voice so high I thought for sure the store windows would bust. "I've missed you. You never called." She continued, ignoring the fact that I was giving her a look so nasty, she should have been dead.

"Uh-"

"Hey, you." I snapped, tapping her on the shoulder. She turned towards me, her eyes lowering in confusion. "You should probably step away from my boyfriend, unless you want another nose job." Her hands dropped from TJ, but she didn't step away from him. "And now you can run back to where ever you came from." She still didn't leave.

I turned to TJ hoping for an explanation, but he just stood next to me, with a deer in the headlights look. He looked towards me, his eyes showing nothing but turmoil. I gave him a 'well?' look but he still didn't say anything, just continued to look between me and her, until he rubbed a hand over his face and looked up at the grey sky.

"Who is that, TJ?" I asked, my eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I'm Lizzy," She said, fake lacing her voice so much it was pretty much plastic.

"Was I speaking to you?" I hissed, glaring at her. She cowered down a little, before putting on a fake brave front. "Who the hell do you think you are, hugging my boyfriend, let alone when I am around?"

"Wow, is your girlfriend always this much of a control freak?" Lizzy asked, a nervous laugh coming out of her mouth.

"You really should go," TJ said, giving her a look he usually saves for weirdos who asked him for his autograph. She gave him a pout but TJ just turned towards me, his eyes still full of several emotions.

"So do you know her from somewhere?" I asked him, my arms now crossed over my chest with a nasty look directed at TJ. I wanted to know who this chick was and what the fuck she was doing, touching my boyfriend.

TJ was about to respond but lizzy cut him off, "yeah I fucked him at the Blues Christmas party, I hope you weren't dating then." She gave me a wicked smile and I felt my nostrils flare and the steam shoot through my ears.

"No, that was before he got good taste." I sneered at her, my teeth pressed together so tight, to hold me back from taking a swing at the nastiness in front of me.

TJ came into my line of vision, pushing me backwards, and then turning me around so we were heading towards the Scottrade Center again. I pushed his hands off of me, suddenly feeling like he was dirty. His touch made me squirm and I couldn't even look at him I was so disgusted.

"Sirena, please don't act like this," TJ pleaded, his arm reaching out for me but I dodged it.

"Don't tell me how to act. How could you sleep with that slut!?" I screamed, trying to stay calm but failing big time.

"Well I needed someone to take my mind off the fact that the girl I really like, just left me in a closet with my pants down!" He said, his voice rising at the end.

"You have a hand don't you!" I yelled back at him. TJ took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. I looked away from him, my arms crossed over my chest, my weight rested on one hip, and I bit my lip so TJ didn't notice it shake.

"Baby, it didn't mean anything," he said, his voice back to a normal level. He tried to bring my chin around so that I was looking at him again but I resisted, slapping his hand down. "Rena, I don't want to fight." He told me.

"We aren't fighting," I said in a super bitchy tone.

"Really? So what does it mean when you don't look at me and snap at me when I'm just trying to make it better?" He asked, annoyance slipping into his voice.

"Don't use that tone with me, Timothy." I snapped, using his first name, "and this isn't one of those times where you can just kiss me and make it better. You slept with that girl when you should have been sleeping with me."

"Remind me again, why I wasn't having sex with you that night? OH YEAH! It was because you fucking bailed on me." He was now raising his voice louder than I have heard him before.

"Oh get over it." I tisked at him.

"No you get over it. You're the one who is making this a big deal when it's not. You have no right to be mad at me right now."

"Why not?" I matched the glare he was shooting at me.

"Because we weren't together and you turned me down." He snapped.

"Are you guys actually having a fight?" Mel asked, causing both TJ and I to snap our heads in her direction.

Apparently while TJ and I had been fighting, we had also been walking towards the arena. I looked around, noticing Bergie with an amused smile on his face, while Mel's had a disbelieving look. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at them. I felt my bottom lip stick out in a pout and I wanted nothing more than to turn towards TJ and apologize. But I have a lot of pride, and I rarely swallow it.

"She's just being stupid," TJ said dismissively.

"Excuse me!?" I screeched at him, whipping my head around to look at him, my hair flying around my face

"Oh here we go again. Look, I have practice and I don't feel like dealing with you when you are being a bitch." TJ said, walking right by me and through the door of the arena. The door slammed in my face and I felt my mouth dropped, taken off guard that TJ would actually do/say that.

"Ouch," Bergie mumbled as he walked past me, going through the same door that TJ just had.

"So I guess you're free the rest of the day?" Mel asked, and I turned towards her flipping her off, and stomping into a different direction.
***

"These cookies better be as good as you promise," I told Mel, pulling them out of the oven at her house.

Her idea of therapy was making cookies, having girl talk, and bashing our boyfriends while they did their own thing. I agreed with her and we came back here right after mine and TJ's episode in the parking lot. We lounged around all day, ordering pizza and buffalo wings and drinking our weight in pop. And even though it was really fun, I still couldn't stop thinking about TJ.

My anger got worse the farther I got away from him. I wanted to turn back around and kick his ass half way to Texas but Mel told me that wouldn't be a good idea. I asked why, she told me because I'd go after him. I didn't appreciate that comment. But then my anger evaporated and it was replaced by a vicious wave of jealousy. That girl had already had sex with TJ and we had been dating for almost 3 months. I couldn't stand the fact that he had been intimate with that girl and not me. But then I would always come back to the same response: who's fault was that?

"They are amazing, mom's secret recipe." Mel said, dipping her finger in some left over cookie dough. I rolled my eyes.

"That stuff is so bad for you." I told her, taking a sip of my coke.

"So are the cookies," she pointed out.

"Touche." I told her, moving towards the stairs, bounding down them to where her big screen TV awaited us.

We flipped on the TV, watching as the Blues skated around the rink once more before the drop of the puck. The Blues were playing the Detroit Red Wings tonight and the boys were on a three game winning streak. It doesn't seem like much but compared to the way the Blues had been playing, it was fantastic. But nothing about the game tonight was fantastic. The Blues ended up getting their asses kicked 5-0 in a washout win for Detroit.

TJ played terrible, he was a -2 for the night, not being able to get any good shots on net. He got hammered into the boards more times than I could count, and he constantly was missing passes and checks of his own. He looked distracted to say the least. Every time they showed him on camera, his eyes were hard and cold, and they were void of the usual carefree sparkle that hockey put into them.

I tried to ignore the guilt that seemed to over take my body every moment I would see TJ's distance from the rink. It was obvious that he was still in the parking lot of the Scottrade center, thinking of me and what this fight would do to our relationship.

"Let's watch a movie!" Mel exclaimed, pulling me from the image of TJ in my mind.

"Which one?" I asked her, wrapping the blankets tighter around me.

"Um, how about... oh! The Little Mermaid!" She screamed like a little girl. I just nodded and she hopped up from her spot on the recliner, popping the movie in.

As the opening scenes played onto the screen, I found myself once again drifting to TJ. I could never get him off of my mind, it didn't matter if I was with him or not, I was always thinking about him. And now that we are fighting, all of it just got ten times worse. I sighed, flipping around on the couch, trying to get comfortable. I looked at my phone, noticing that even though the game had ended, TJ hadn't even bothered to call to see if we were still getting dinner. Apparently he got the memo that I was trying to send. Except now that it's sent, I really wish I could shove it all back into my mouth.
***

I must have dozed off in the middle of watching our movie because I was shaken awake when my phone started vibrating on the table next to my head. I squinted against the glare of it, the TV was off and the room was a welcoming pitch black. I saw the caller ID flash TJ <3 and I seriously debated hitting ignore. In the end, I decided to pick up. It was 2:30 in the morning and he might need me.

"Hello," I croaked, sleep evident in my voice.

"Reeenaaaa," TJ's voice came, slurred and sporadic. He laughed after he said it, "that's a weird name." He told me, giggling again.

"God TJ, fuck you." I snapped at him, annoyed that he woke me up just to be an asshole.

"I'd like that." He told me, trying to sound sexy but instead sounding stupid.

"Go home and drink some water. Call me when you're not dunk off your ass." I told him, closing my eyes and trying to keep myself calm.

TJ drunk was not a pretty sight. He was sarcastic, annoying, cocky, and he tended to make stupid decisions. He drinks way more than he should and then sleeps it off the whole next day. He has a high alcohol tolerance, but that doesn't mean he should abuse it.

TJ's laughing subsided and his voice got low and serious, "Babe, will you come get me? Erik fucking ditched me for some chick."

"Teej, are you serious?" I asked, groaning when I thought of leaving Mel's house to drag TJ home.

"Babe, I can't even see straight anymore. I can't walk, please. I don't even know how I got to your number." He explained. I felt my stomach drop and worry took over my body.

"Why did you drink until you got to that point?" I asked him, throwing the blanket off of me and maneuvering by memory around the dark room. I walked up the stairs, grabbed my keys off the counter and sprinted towards my car. I thought about leaving Mel a note but figured she wouldn't wake up anyway.

"I'm coming to get you babe." I told him, starting my Audi and pulling out of her driveway.

"Mkay," He said, "I'm at- oh fuck." He muttered, before the line went dead.

I floored it, already knowing he would be at a bar downtown where he went all the time with the rest of his teammates. I thanked God I decided to get the Audi instead of a Mustang. These blend in more and thankfully I wasn't pulled over as I did close to 90 on the freeway. I pulled off the ramp, driving like a stunt driver in all the movies. I whipped my Audi into the parking spot, parallel baby, in front of the bar.

I quickly walked into the door, scanning the bar, looking for my wasted boyfriend, hoping he was okay. People gave me weird looks as I stood on my tippy toes, dressed in sweats, an old sweatshirt, with my hair in a messy bun and my glasses perched on my nose. I sighed in relief when I found him in a corner booth, glass of water in front of him, and his phone swimming in it. I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop the smile that formed on my lips.

"Babe," I spoke when I reached him. I crawled into the booth next to him, picking up the water glass to examine his now soaked blackberry.

"It slipped," he said sheepishly. I cocked my eyebrow but set the glass back down. "Will you take care of me tonight?" He asked, scooting next to me and resting his head on my shoulder. He had to slump down and I laughed at the awkwardness of his position.

"And why should I?" I asked, biting my lip, eyebrows raised.

"Because I took care of you when you were sick," he insisted, nuzzling his nose against my neck. "MMM, baby you smell good."

"Mel and I made cookies," I told him, "While you were out getting sick. Come on, cupcake. Let's get moving."

"Oh I like cupcakes," TJ said, a dorky grin gracing his face. I just giggled as I helped hoist him up from the table.

We started walking, well I did, with TJ putting all of his weight on me and shuffling his feet. I dragged him from the bar, plopping him down in my passenger seat, before scurrying around to the driver's side. By the time I opened the door, TJ was passed out. I rolled my eyes at him, but I was really happy that he was okay.

I debated where to drive. Do I bring him back to his house and let him sleep there? Or do I bring him back to my house? But then there was Mel. What was I supposed to do about her?

"Ugh, TJ Oshie, you are so lucky I love you," I muttered under my breath, as I pulled a U-turn and headed to the outskirts of the city, to my house.