What If I Told You I Love You

My fingers tapped on my coffee cup as my eyes raked over my passed out boyfriend. It was 11:00 in the morning and he was still sleeping like he was exhausted. His eyes already had bags under them, his hair was sticking up every which way, and his clothes were coming off his body because of his restless night of tossing and turning. And even though he looked incredibly disgusting, I still found him attractive as hell. A smile formed on my lips as I padded across the guest room of our house. Yeah, guest room, because despite the fact that I took care of him last night, I was still upset with him.

"TJ," I whispered in his ear, not shaking him, knowing he would think I was Bergie and smack me. "Baby, wake up." He started to stir, his hands moving from his sides to under the pillow that his head was occupying.

"No." He muttered into his pillow, grabbing the other one next to him and slamming it down on his head. I pursed my lips to stifle a giggle and continued to pester him.

"Yes. Now." I told him, trying to grab the pillow but his hand came up and threw mine away. "TJ stop being a baby. It's 11 in the morning." That seemed to get him rolling.

"Shit! Why didn't you wake me up earlier? I'm late for practice." TJ said, scurrying around the room, grabbing his wallet and keys from the bedside table. He stuffed his feet into his sneakers while I watched him, an amused smile on my face. He ran out the door, not even bothering to say goodbye.

"Teej, I think you are forgetting something," I called to him, placing my coffee cup on the nightstand.

He came running back into the room and he gave me a peck on the lips, "I'm sorry, bye hun." And he turned back towards the door. I laughed at him, grabbing his arm and pulling him back onto the bed.

"Nooo, I meant that you have an off-day today sweetie." I reminded him, watching his eyebrows furrow and then he looked at the date on the clock, laughing when he realized I was right.

"So, I got up for nothing," he wined, burying his face in the crook of my neck. His lips connected with my spot, making me shiver in response. I squirmed away from him, knowing we had to talk about yesterday.

I sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed while he still laid behind me. He sighed deeply and pulled himself up next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"You know I'm sorry about yesterday, but you really don't get to be mad at me for that, baby. That was before you." He told me, no caution in his words, just truth.

"Technically it wasn't before me," I muttered, running a hand through my hair.

"Well, it was before you were my girlfriend." He countered, squeezing me tightly.

"Was she the last one?" I asked, wincing at the silence that followed.

"Um-"

"Never mind. Definitely don't want to know." I told him, standing up and getting ready to walk back to my room. He grabbed my arm though, twisting me around and pulling me onto him so I was straddling his lap.

"Yes, you do." He looked deep into my eyes, making me squirm under his gaze. I just shrugged and rolled my eyes at him. "There was one more but I only did it because I was so mad at you. You were driving me fucking crazy."

"Oh so because you were mad that makes it okay? Try again." I snapped, feeling my anger resurface. I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes at him.

"Sirena. I. Am. Sorry." He said with emphasis, "I can't take it back now. All I can do is assure you that none of those girls matter. Because none of them could ever be you or mean as much as you do to me." He wrapped an arm around my neck, pulling me down so my lips were hovering over his. I puckered my lips out towards him and he kissed them lightly. "Are we okay?" He asked, a smile evident in his voice.

"I guess so. But only because your special. And It's an off day and I want you to entertain me." I told him, nuzzling into his neck. He laughed and placed his cheek against the top of my head.

"Oh! So we don't even have to leave the house," He said, before he scooped me up and threw me on the bed, climbing on top of me.

"Bad dog," I told him, swatting at his chest.

"I take offense to that," TJ said, holding a hand over his heart and giving me a hurt look.

"Mmm, well you better get over it. We are leaving in 10!" I jumped off the bed, running to my room before he could stop me.

I didn't need to shower or put on any makeup since I had gotten all of that done before I had decided to wake TJ up. I pulled on a pair of carpi's and a plain pink shirt, pairing it with a pair of flip flops before I bounced down the stairs to where TJ was waiting for me in the entry way. He did a playful eye roll and I knew what was coming next.

"That was 5 minutes, max. Do not even complain." I told him, pointing a finger at his chest.

"Okay." He put his hands up to surrender and I laughed, pulling him outside to his truck. "So where are we going?" He asked, once we were on the road.

"You tell me." I smiled, flashing my pearly whites at him. Amusement flashed in his eyes and he looked back at the road, eyes narrowed in thought.

"Have you ever golfed before?" He asked me, glancing towards me then putting his focus back on the road.

I was silent for a second and the burst into laughter, "Baby, I can't golf to save my life." I told him honestly. He sighed, grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers together.

"Well, we are just going to have to change that." He told me, bringing my hand up to his lips and kissing it.

A few kisses, miles, and minutes later, we pulled up to an outdoor mini golf course called "Mystery Links." I scrunched my nose at the name, giving TJ a sly smile.

"I know, the name is sketchy, but this place fucking rocks." He told me, slipping an arm around my shoulder and kissing my temple.

"If you say so," I told him, still a little skeptical.

TJ walked to the front while I stood at the door, taking in the massive golf course. It had 18 holes, each decorated with a certain obstacle you had to putt around. I laughed at a huge dinosaur, knowing I was going to make TJ do that one for me. The whole place looked a lot like the one in Happy Gilmore, I just hoped there wasn't a freaky clown.

"Alright, here." TJ said, handing me a club and a pink ball, while he had a blue ball.

"Why do I have a pink ball?" I asked, just to be difficult.

"Because you are wearing a pink shirt," TJ stated simply, totally curving around a mishap. "Don't try and start a fight with me. We are past it, you said so yourself." He gave me a pointed look before grabbing my hand and leading me towards the first hole.

To say I was terrible would be putting it lightly. But TJ, he just plain old sucked. Although, I guess that wouldn't be fair because I knew he was doing it so I didn't feel bad. I had an average of ten strokes a hole, not good for anyone who knows anything about golf. TJ would try to make more strokes than he had too, hitting the ball too far of too short of the hole, just so that we could keep the game a little more even. The people behind us ooed and ahhed at how cut TJ and I were being, and I knew they must have been from out of town if they didn't recognize him.

We came to the last hole, the one with the big ass dinosaur in the middle of the green. I grumbled when we approached it, knowing I wasn't going to be able to get past it. I looked over at TJ who had a huge grin, most likely thinking the same thing as me.

"I'm actually going to try on this one, okay?" He told me, leaning against his small putter.

"Then you go first, superstar," I told him, stepping off the green and getting ready for him to fail.

But do you think someone could help me out and get in the way of the ball and the hole? Nope. TJ made it through the dinosaur in one stroke, putting it just mere inches away from the hole. My mouth fell open in shock as TJ turned around and flashed me a cocky grin.

"Do you want me to do it for you?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

"uh, no! I can do it myself," I snapped, going back on my previous notion that he would do it for me. I stalked up next to him, and he backed off to stand behind me. I put my hands on my putter and I saw him shake his head out of my peripheral vision. "What?" I barked.

"You're holding it wrong," TJ told me, stepping closer.

"No I'm not," I told him, not liking that he was telling me what to do.

TJ laughed, "okay, you aren't. Go ahead."

So I did. I putted, a lot harder than TJ did and it bounced off the plastic dinosaur and came back, flying right at my head. I ducted and so did TJ, watching the ball fly into the pond of a different hole. TJ let loose a loud laugh, throwing his head back while his face flushed with amusement.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath, my face heating up out of embarrassment. "Okay, I'm done." This got TJ's attention and he stopped laughing, shaking his head at me.

"You are not a quitter, my dear." He shoved another ball into my hand, one that he had taken out of his pocket. I gave him a questioning look and he shrugged, "I figured that would happen." I rolled my eyes and stomped back to my spot. I held my putter, trying to get up the courage to hit again, knowing I'd probably do the same thing.

"I can't," I told him, giving up. He walked up to me, throwing his putter on the ground a couple feet away.

"I'll help you," He assured me, standing behind me.

He grabbed my hips, placing my butt at the front of his crotch, much like a grinding position. His hands then found mine, sliding them closer together so I wasn't holding it like a hockey stick anymore. I pressed against his chest, enjoying this mini lesson he was trying to give me, holing myself back from moving against him.

"Now bring your hands back. No, not that far," He explained, bringing my arms closer to the ball, so they made a straight line. "Alright, now just hit the ball," He said, bringing my arms forward, hitting the ball, past the dinosaur, past his ball, and straight into the hole.

"TJ!" I screamed,"we did it!" I twirled around, and wrapped my arms around him, stealing a couple kisses from him. He smiled against my lips and I felt one break out on mine. "Thank you," I whispered to him, causing his smile to widen.

"You did that all yourself," he laughed at my eye roll, because we both knew that wouldn't have happened without him.

"Well, I had fantastic teacher," I told him, wrapping my legs around his waist as he started to move towards his ball, so he could hit it in and we could leave.

"Yeah, I heard he's a pretty awesome guy," TJ told me, shrugging his shoulders.

"Mmm, so he thinks," I explained, causing TJ to drop me back on my feet.

TJ hit his ball in the hole and we gave our putters and balls back, along with glancing at the score sheet. TJ still won, even though he was trying to be considerate of me. He blew me out of the water, and although I don't know much about golf, I do know that the score I had was way over par. TJ and I headed back to his car, trying to decide what we were going to do now.

"I'm hungry," I told TJ, putting my seat belt over my body, and grabbing the hand he had already put on my thigh.

"What do you want?" TJ asked in between singing "Don't Blink" by Kenny Chesney.

I giggled, knowing this was his favorite song and he always had it on whenever I was in the truck, "Ice cream."

"That isn't a meal, sweetie."

"No, but its gooood!" I exclaimed, bouncing in my seat.

"The last thing you need right now is sugar." TJ said, doing the once over of my bouncing body.

"It's an adrenaline rush. I'm really proud of myself." I pouted, knowing I would have him.

"Fine, but only because you're the next Tiger Woods." TJ laughed after he said that, being open about how bad I did. I shrugged, glad that he didn't candy coat it for me. That's what I always loved about TJ, the fact that I would always get the real deal from him, not some fake guy who was being nice to me in order to get in my pants. TJ was genuine.

We pulled up to an ice cream shop, Big Scoop, that was known for it's name. They had gigantic ice cream cones that were so good, you couldn't stop eating them. TJ told me to find a spot outside to eat, while he went in and got our cones. He didn't ask me what I wanted, he already knew. Another thing I love about TJ, he knows the little stuff and he pays attention to what I want. I smiled, watching him do his little swagger into the store.

I glanced around, looking for a table on the sidewalk, but they were all occupied. I scanned over the whole street, wondering if there was anything a little further down. And that was when I saw him. He still looked the same, brown hair, chocolate, brown eyes, and clothes so color coordinated that it was a wonder I hadn't thought he was gay when I first saw him. I gulped, glancing in the ice cream shop, seeing TJ was still waiting in line. My eyes took in the curb, and I quickly sat down on it, putting my hand up to shield my face, hoping he would just pass on by.

I could tell when he got closer, his sent hitting my nose and making me want to gag. His voice swam to my ears, him talking on the phone, most likely with either his mother or his latest fuck buddy. I felt my lip curl up into a sneer as the image from the coffee shop a couple months ago flashed through my mind.

"Mom, I have to go," Derek said, close to my back. But I didn't have to hear him to know he spotted me. His eyes scanned my back at the same time a repulsed ripple ran through my body, making my toes curl against my flip flops. "Rena?" He asked, causing another ripple, so much stronger this time, to make my shoulders cave in and white, hot anger to run through my body.

"Don't call me that," I spoke through gritted teeth, immediately regretting that I just confirmed it was me.

"Wow, it's been a while," He said, ignoring my tone and harsh words.

"Oh trust me, Derek. Not long enough." I snarled.

He laughed, obviously not deterred at all by my hostility, "hey, what are you doing right now? We should get some lunch, you know, catch up. Talk about getting back together, stuff like that." My mouth dropped open, and I turned around to look at him to see if he was actually serious. He was.

"Are you kidding me? Did you not understand anything I said to you that day I found out you were cheating on me?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, but you were just mad. You didn't mean it." He said seriously.

"Um, NO. I was dead serious. Plus, I have a boyfriend now who treats me a hell of a lot better than you did." I watched Derek's eyes narrow and a smug smile spread onto my face. I hit a huge nerve.

"It's TJ fucking Oshie isn't it?" He spat at me, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"It doesn't matter who it is. All that does is that he isn't you," I snarled at him, my anger going up ten knots at the way he said TJ's name. Derek glanced to the side, looking into the ice cream shop where TJ was waiting, his eyes fixed on me, confusion evident on his face. But when Derek turned, TJ's face flashed with anger so undeniable it made me shutter.

"What do you even see in him? He's everything you have ever hated." Derek scoffed, pouting like a little boy.

"I see everything that I never saw in you. And that is not true, you are everything I've ever hated." I snapped, standing up from the curb and stepping up so that I had a little bit more height because Derek towered over me. I wanted to look again to see if TJ was coming but I never had to.

"You have two seconds to step away from my girlfriend before I forcibly do it for you," TJ snarled, stepping in between Derek and me. I couldn't see TJ's eyes but judging by the way Derek stumbled backwards, and then fell over the curb, TJ looked about ready to flip shit. "And you have no fucking right to speak to her like that. Apologize. now." TJ finished, his voice hard and full of anger.

"S-s-sorry," Derek stammered, and I raised an eyebrow at how pathetic he looked.

I can't believe I ever tried to convince myself he was better than the man who stood in front of me, protecting me from a loser who could never take him, but shielding me nonetheless. Derek quickly pulled himself up, and sprinted down the street like a frightened cat. I laughed and TJ turned around, holding our ice cream with a sour look on his face. I grabbed mine from him and stretched onto my tippy toes to place a kiss on his lips, hoping to calm him down.

"Aw man," I said, snapping my fingers, "he didn't want to stay for ice cream?" That got a response from TJ, making him laugh and pull me into a one armed hug.

"I hope you know, you were the only thing holding me back from kicking his ass. God, I hate that guy." TJ huffed out, sitting down on the curb with me. I turned towards him, giving him a huge grin. "I used to be so jealous of that pansy."

"That's ridiculous. You are so much better than him. Why would you ever be jealous?" I asked, incredulously.

"Isn't it obvious? He got to be with you, hold you, kiss you whenever he wanted. And at the time, all you did was yell at me." He told me, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but you are better at all of those things. And I yelled at you because you drove me nuts!" I exclaimed, nudging his shoulder with mine.

"I like attention, baby." He grinned.

"Yeah, I figured that out a long time ago, my dear," I told him, licking my ice cream cone.

I looked over at TJ, the way his ice cream made his lips pink and the constant licking of his tongue. It was by far the hottest thing I had ever seen. And when some of his ice cream got stuck on his lips, I just had to get it off myself. I grabbed his face, turning it towards me and smashing our lips together. I sucked his top lip into my mouth, licking it clean with my tongue and then did the same with the bottom lip.

When I pulled away, TJ's eyes were out of whack and he was looking at me with a look so intense, I knew if we weren't in public, I would be on my back. TJ turned away, burring his mouth in ice cream again, and turning back to me with a huge grin. I laughed loudly, throwing my head back and pushing my breath out with it.

"I love your laugh," TJ told me, stroking my cheek with his fingers. I bit my lip, looking over at him and giggling because his lips were still covered in the creamy goodness.

My eyes watched TJ's tongue, lick the ice cream off of his lips. I studied him intently, watching all of his movements, letting my mind wander. I knew I loved him, but watching the way he acted towards Derek, the overprotective boyfriend that I had always hated, but loved as long as it was TJ, secured the deal.

I was ready to give everything to TJ. I was ready to make that commitment because he had always been worth the risk before. I had no doubt that this time would be the same as every other risk. So I pushed out a breath, rolled my shoulders back and told myself, no backing out. My birthday was in a couple days, and the day I turned 22 would be the day that TJ had been waiting a long time for. I just hoped he could wait a little bit longer.