What If I Told You I Love You

The four of us had made our way through the mall and we made sure our last stop was DSW. The loads of shoes were sure to keep Mel busy and it gave TJ and I some time to play a little game of 20 questions.

"Can you skate?" TJ asked, playing with the rings that adorned my right hand.

"Oh yeah. I'm not Sidney Crosby but I can skate pretty well." I responded, flipping his hat off his head and placing it on mine. He looked up at me laughing at how ridiculous I looked with the huge hat on top of my head. "You shouldn't be laughing. You have some seriously bad hat hair." TJ just rolled his eyes and grabbed the hat off my head.

"Your turn." He responded.

"Have any tattoos?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. His eyes reached mine again and his smirk made an appearance, giving me my answer. "That's a yes." He nodded.

"Yeah, its a couple hockey sticks."

"Where is it?" I asked, lowering my voice suggestively.

"Right here." He said, tapping his left pectoral. "Right where it should be." I nodded, letting my mind wonder to how hot he probably looked without a shirt on. "Do you have any tattoos?" He asked, bring his lips right below my ear.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I asked. He flashed me a huge grin, showing off his teeth and making his eyes shine mischievously. "Only privileged people get to see it."

"What is it?" TJ asked.

"You'll just have to see if your privileged enough to find out." I smirked, tapping his nose with my index finger.

"I see. So how many other people have seen it?" He asked, bring his face mere inches from mine.

"One." I told him honestly, "besides the person who gave it to me." TJ's eyes flashed with an unread emotion and his eyes seemed to dilate, causing me to shudder in response.

"Ohh! Look at you two getting along." Mel murmured holding up her DSW bag, telling us she was ready to leave.

"I know. It's amazing what happens when you actually try to be nice." I murmured, sarcastically. I stood up, pulling TJ with me. He hobbled up next to me and I felt myself dragging him out of the store. "Come on cripple." I gave him a smile and he rolled his eyes, taking what I was dishing out for now. It was his way of letting me get back at him for the whole drink thing.

We walked on the sidewalk towards where the car was parked and I felt myself wishing TJ was actually my boyfriend. I hadn't really thought about Derek all day but as I watched Patrik and Mel interact I realized I wanted that sort of relationship with TJ. Derek and I didn't have that. We never even had sex. I know it's hard to believe but I couldn't bring myself to sleep with him. I just didn't love him the way I needed to in order to let him see that much of me.

TJ brought my hand up to his mouth, kissing it lightly before letting our hands fall back into the swinging motion. I felt a smile creep onto my face and I couldn't remember the last time that I felt this happy with a boy. It was probably when Derek and I first started dating, but I didn't really remember what that felt like. All I knew was that being in this moment with TJ was the only thing that felt right.

We passed a brunette guy who was yapping away on his cell phone. The sidewalk was not really meant for multiple people to walk next to each other, so I pressed into TJ to avoid hitting the man. He had just passed when all of a sudden his loud talking cut off. I was shocked when I felt a tug at my arm, stopping both TJ and I from walking any further.

"Uh, Sirena?" the man asked, whom I now noticed was Derek. I pulled my hand away from TJ's a lot faster than I meant too. My hand immediately felt light and empty without his hand in it, providing it with a comforting weight.

"Derek, hey." I spoke, awkwardly shifting my weight away from TJ.

"What are you doing? Have you been here all day? I've been trying to call you. Why didn't you answer?" He pestered me with questions. I watched his eyes raked over TJ, sizing him up to see if he could take him. Without question, TJ could kick his ass, that much was obvious. I felt around my pockets for my phone.

"Oh, I guess I must have forgot it at home." I answered sheepishly.

"Yeah, I already knew that because you dad answered your phone the last time I called. He told me you were with Patrik and Mel. He never mentioned you were with TJ too." He finished, pulling me into his body. He grabbed my arm, wrapping it around his waist.

"Why should it matter," Mel snapped, rolling her eyes at the way Derek was acting.

Derek ignored her though, looking down at me, "Why don't you come back with me and we can hang out the rest of the day?" I bit down on my lip, glancing over at Mel before looking, hesitantly, at TJ. He seemed to have retreated back into himself except for the slight glare that was evident on his face along with the edgy way he stood. His face was flushed red and I could feel the anger radiating off him. A normal person, like Derek, wouldn't have realized that TJ was close to snapping.

"Uh-"

"Great," Derek spoke for me, "it's settled then. See you guys later." He pulled me around with him, dragging me towards his car. He unlocked the door before pushing me into the passenger seat. He climbed in a second later, starting the car and wheeling out of the parking spot. He reached the freeway, flying down the road at a dangerous pace.

"Derek, slow down." I told him, gripping the door and the dashboard to keep from swerving when he changed lanes.

"What the fuck was that?" Derek snapped at me, turning the radio off.

"What was what? I was hanging out with my friends. Am I not allowed to do that now? Or am I just supposed to sit at home and wait around for when you actually want to see me?" I asked, my annoyance was coming through and I could feel the six months of pent up frustration coming out.

"You can have friends. They just can't be TJ Oshie." He remarked, signaling and pulling onto the freeway ramp to my house.

"Why? You were fine with him a couple weeks ago. What changed your mind?" I folded my arms across my chest, glaring out the windshield.

"Because you hated him. It was fine as long as you didn't look interested in him. It stopped being fine when he was holding your hand a couple minutes ago."

"It didn't mean anything, Derek." I lied, "he's just a friend."

"You don't look at a friend the way TJ was looking at you." Derek spoke with a monotone voice. My breathing hitched a bit and my heart fluttered. TJ was looking at me differently? What did that mean? Was he interested in me? I shook my head. Those things should not be going through my head and most definitely not when I was having this conversation with my boyfriend about another guy.

"Derek, he was looking at me the way he looks at everyone else." I assured him, trying to convince myself at the same time.

"Yeah, I'm sure he looks at Mel with that same, I-think-I could-marry-you-some-day-look."

"Your delusional." I told him, taking a deep breath and pushing it out. TJ didn't feel that way about me. I was just the owner's daughter. I wasn't a candidate for his girlfriend. He would never feel that way about me. He was just having a weird day and he needed comforting because he was upset about his ankle. That was it, nothing more, nothing less.

"And your in denial." Derek countered, "look, the bottom line is I don't want you around him anymore. He's bad news." I opened my mouth to protest but I snapped it shut again.

He was right. I needed to stay away from TJ. He wasn't my boyfriend, Derek was. He wasn't the guy I needed to be spending my free time with. He wasn't the one who I was supposed to hold hands with. Not with the guy I hated only days before. Derek was right, he was bad news. I already knew it, but Derek saying it made it that much more real.

"Okay," I responded and I felt like a piece of me died. Staying away from TJ was going to be hard, especially after he gave me a glimpse of what he could be like when he wasn't so focused on hating me.