Imperfectly Beautiful

The bright sun made me groan as I rolled over, a shiver running up my spine as the wind hit my bare skin. I sighed and sat up abruptly, pulling my blinds shut and rubbing my eyes. What time is it?, I thought as I pulled a grey v-neck over my bare torso. A yawn escaped my lips as my bed creaked and I stood up, stretching my arms up above my head.

I dragged my feet along the carpet as I walked towards the door leading into the living room. My hand lazily slipped along the doorknob, swinging the loosely hinged door open. I groaned as the bright sunlight of the room flooded my eyes, and caused me to blink a numerous amount of times before I could see straight. "God damnit." I mumbled out loud, as I removed my hands from my face.

I jumped as I noticed a shadow on the couch, sprawled out in every which direction, but chuckled as I noticed what - or who- it was. Nick was stretched out along my cocoa leather couch, in the same position I have found Camilla in too many times to count. His plaid blue shirt was laying sloppily on the floor, and left him in a thin white v-neck, similar to the one I had just put on myself. His hair was a mess, and hung in his eyes, and his mouth was slightly agape. I rolled my eyes as I noticed he still had his converse on.

"Nick." I said sternly, as I walked over and hit him in the arm. He didn't even stir, and I wondered how he could sleep so heavily in such an uncomfortable situation. "Nicholas." I said again, as I hit his arm once more, and his eyes finally flickered open.

"Wha?" He groaned, clearing his throat and sitting up sleepily, I sighed and held back a chuckle at the sight of him, his hair being such a mess was a rare occurrence. "Did you knock out here?" The question was obvious to me, unless he broke in when I was asleep.

"Yeah, I guess." He stretched his arms over his head, a yawn escaping his lips as he leaned over and ran a hand through his mess of hair. "Why didn't you go home?" I leaned back against my couch, propping my feet on the leather ottoman in front of me, which housed various magazines and photographs. I scanned my eyes over them as Nicks voice hummed in the background. One of Camilla lay on the edge, her eyes were bright and her smile huge. A smile vanished on my lips as I studied the picture longer, and something in my heart didn't flutter. My stomach didn't twirl, something just felt... different.

"Dude." Nicks voice shook me from my worrying as I glanced to him quickly, an indifferent expression on his face. "Were you even listening?" His voice was agitated as I sighed and shook my head.

"Sorry, I was just... distracted." I mumbled and his eyes shot to where I had my stare fixed before, and I knew he would look at the picture next to Camilla's. "That's what I was talking about." He said as he brushed Camilla's out of the way, Peyton's blue eyes coming into brighter view. "What?" I asked him, becoming curious on why he was speaking about her.

"I was talking to you about her, but you were too distracted by her picture." His voice held humor in it, as he flipped the photograph over, leaving the white side facing up. "Oh, my bad. What did you say?" I cleared my throat silently, as I suddenly felt nervous and my palms began to sweat. It was the same feeling I had walking up Peytons block last night, the same feeling I had when I saw her face. It was the feeling I always had around her, It was her feeling.

"I mean, I wanted to talk to you about this alone. Because I know that Kevin can take things... out of hand." His voice was sort of, uncertain, almost as if he was scared of my reaction. I nodded and swallowed hard, my throat a little dry, "Yeah, I know."

"Joe, I know you love Camilla." Nick spoke her name lowly, and it caused me to look up at him, his hair still crazy and his shirt still hanging loosely. "I do, Nick. I really do." This little mentioning of her made me physically sick, as visions of her and Rob flashed in my mind. I knew Nick saw it too as he quickly changed the subject.

"And everyone can see you like Peyton." A small smirk stretched across his dry lips as my expression relaxed as I remember last nights occurrence, her small hands gripping onto my arms just made my head spin.

"Nick, I mean... I don't even know how to explain how she makes me feel." A small smile took over my face as memories flashed rapidly through my mind.

"And Camilla, she's with Rob and then Peyton got angry and she's just so confusing. And I love Camilla, but sometimes she just seems to take me fo-" Nick cut me off from my pointless rambling, as my hands tightened into fists at my sides. "Joe, does she make you happy?"

"Who?" I asked, as I pulled at my hair which hung in front of my eyes, which suddenly became more than annoying. "Peyton."

"Yes.” I paused and glanced up from the floor, “More than happy, Nick." I sighed as I realized all of what he -and myself- was saying was true, I already knew where he was going with this. His mind tricks always seem to work.

"Then, don't beat yourself up over it." He stated simply, shrugging his shoulders carelessly. "I mean, Kevin is always going to try to pressure you to stay with Camilla. Just because he married the first girl who saw him naked, doesn't mean you have to." I laughed quietly at the crack he took at Kevin, which was more than true.

"Joe, do what you think is right. I trust your decision, and you should too." He smiled at me, and I nodded, a small smirk sweeping over my lips. "Thanks Nick."

He laughed, "Anytime bro."

When Nick finally left my house, and when I finally mustered up the inspiration to take a quick shower and get myself ready for the day, I couldn’t help but look back to what Nick had told me.

Being with Peyton was right. I knew it was. Because if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be feeling this feeling that I’m feeling now.

Talking with Nick made me feel better about the decision I had finally come to. It might not be what the wise would do, but it was what I was doing.

I looked back up at the familiar door of Peyton’s and Harmony’s and inhaled deeply before gliding my knuckles across the hardwood.

Her light footsteps echoed through the empty hallways as I studied the scenery around and behind me.

The door slid open brusquely and we didn’t exchange a word. Just a quick glance over and a smile before she leaned out of my way to let me in.

But we didn’t need to talk. My decision was obvious.