Imperfectly Beautiful

My heart was still racing as I stared up at the ceiling of my bedroom, remembering every detail I could find in my mind and replaying it in my head.

The tender touch of her fingers on my arms, my stomach, my chest. The sound of her sighing in my ear before slowly sliding her way off of me and pressing her body as close to mine as it could possibly get. It was thrilling, it was pleasing, it was…different than anything I had ever experienced before.

“Joe?” At first, I thought I was imagining Peyton’s voice, but when I heard my name in the same tone for a second time, I slowly slid my eyes back open and rolled over to my side, where Peyton was smirking that innocent smile of hers.

“Good morning,” I mumbled, pressing my lips onto hers gently. She slithered her arms around my back and pushed her face into my bare chest before nodding her head slowly.

“It is, isn’t it?” She replied. Even the small detail of her breath lingering across my bare skin sent small sensations throughout my body. She pulled away from me suddenly and looked at the area around her. “What time is it?”

“Almost noon,” I mumbled quietly, glancing away from the clock that was on the wall facing me. I continued to look around me, feeling the pit in my stomach return. A feeling that had been there ever since I woke up hours ago. Later tonight, Camilla would be coming home. She would be sitting on the couch I had been on with Peyton, she would be sleeping in the same spot that Peyton was in now.

“I guess we just wore ourselves out,” I heard Peyton say quietly at my side. Hearing this, I couldn’t help but smile before nodding my head in agreement. I glanced down at Peyton, who was smiling sheepishly, her cheeks turning bright red as she glanced down at our two bodies.

“Hold on a second, okay?” I gathered the blankets around me and tugged on them slightly before standing up from the bed and searching for my camera. I found it under a pile of my clothes in the hallway, and when I came back with it, dangling in my hand, Peyton instantly crawled under the covers.

“Don’t you dare, Joseph Jonas.” I heard her faint voice shout from underneath the cotton. Sitting down at the side of the bed, I flipped off the lens cover and powered on the camera.

“Come on, Pey.” I mumbled, poking the lump beside me. She scrambled slightly before slowly poking her head out from underneath the sheet. “The lighting in this room is beautiful right now, it needs to be captured.”

“So why don’t I take a picture of you?” I focused the camera on her eyes, the only thing she had allowed to let come out from her hiding spot.

“Because, it’s my camera.” I stated, sticking my tongue out at her as she mumbled something under her breath. Only moments later, though, she had reappeared, still pressing the blankets up against herself self-consciously.

“Can’t you take a picture of something else besides me?” Peyton asked vulnerably. “I probably look like a mess right now.”

“You look beautiful,” I murmured, reaching out to tuck a piece of Peyton’s hair behind her ear. She leaned into my touch slightly before nodding her head.

“Fine, what do you want me to do?”

“Just…” I paused, biting down on my lip before nodding toward the headboard. “Lean back up there but put your arm right…yeah. Like that.” I climbed my way further onto the bed before hovering over Peyton. She watched my every move, her strangely colored eyes studying mine as I adjusted the lens.

“Am I supposed to-“The sound of my camera’s shutter filled the room as Peyton glanced up at me in confusion. “What are you doing? I wasn’t ready, do-over.”

I studied the picture on the screen before me and shook my head slowly. “It’s beautiful, Peyton. Just the way it is.”

“Let me see,” she demanded, wrapping her fingers around
my camera and tugging it down toward her. I watched as her face twisted and contorted into a frown. “My mouth is open, and look at my hair. It’s all…flat and stringy. It looks like I’m about to sneeze or something.”

“I like it,” I argued, sliding down next to her. She rolled over onto her side and handed the camera back to me.

“The lighting is beautiful,” she admitted, “it would just look better without me in it.”

“Just because you don’t look perfect in it doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful, Peyton.” I put my head on the pillow underneath me and smiled. “In this world where everything is so perfect, revealing imperfections can be quite beautiful.” I paused before pressing my lips forcefully onto Peyton’s, gathering her hair in my fists as she pressed her body against mine.

“It’s imperfectly beautiful.” I murmured as soon as our lips had disconnected. I saw the tears swell up in Peyton’s eyes and felt my stomach drop. “Is something wrong?”

Peyton shook her head before burying her body closer to mine, so close that her words now came muffled to me. “No one has ever said something like that to me, that’s all. Do you really mean that?”

By the way her voice squeaked at the end, I could tell Peyton was full-out sobbing by now. I smiled before tilting her head up to me, forcing her to look into my eyes.
“Every word of it.” I promised. She continued to watch me, tears pouring down her cheeks in silence. “Are you hungry?” I questioned, attempting to change the topic. She looked up at me thankfully before nodding her head a few times. “Want to go to Rupture?”

She gave me a skeptical look before shrugging her shoulders, “If you really want to.”

* * *

We had the seat by the windows, of course. Peyton and I were silent, both strangely at a loss of words as we drank our coffee. An untouched muffin was set between us. I glanced up from my coffee, just in time to see Peyton look back down. I sighed and ran my hands through my messy hair before drumming my fingers on the table before me.

“I remember the first day you came in here,” Peyton said suddenly, setting her coffee down on a plate that was set next to the muffin. She folded her hands in her lap before continuing. “With your brothers and Camilla.”

My stomach rolled around nervously at the sound of her name leaving those lips. The lips I had kissed, and done much more with.

“When Nick threw a fit and left, and Camilla had left to use the restroom,” Peyton’s attention now turned to the swinging doors behind her as a waitress entered the front room with a tray balancing in her hand. “You were just sitting there, like you didn’t know what to do, staring down at the mess you were making. That I had to pick up, for your information.”

My cheeks turned hot as I smirked up at Peyton. “I’m sorry for that.”

She giggled before shaking her head. “Its fine,” she replied, “Anyways, you left with Camilla. And I guess my point is that, I saw the way you looked at her when you had first walked in. Or the way you had gently touched her hand when Nick was putting her down. And the way you stuck by her side the entire walk out of this place, no matter who was looking at you. And I remember thinking to myself, ‘man, I really want that,’ you know?” Peyton paused to gulp down the rest of her coffee before glancing back up at me. “I think I have that now.”

I sat there in complete shock, watching as Peyton shrugged her shoulders sheepishly before sliding her cup to the side of the table. “I guess that’s what I felt earlier, at least.”

It was only then that I realized that with me not saying anything, it had made the entire situation completely awkward. “No, I get what you’re saying, Pey. I really, really, like you. Maybe even more than that. I guess I’m just trying to kind of, sort out everything that happened last night. I haven’t gone that far with many girls.”

Something flashed across Peyton’s face before she slumped down lower in her chair. I shook my head and reached out for her hand before squeezing it gently. “What’s wrong?”

Peyton shook her head, her blonde locks falling out of place, before leaning in closer to the table we were sitting at. “It’s just,” she paused, “you were kind of…my first.”

I bit down on my lip slowly before stroking Peyton’s palm with the tip of my thumb. It was there, in the spot my brothers, close friends, and family had sat so many times before, that I realized that I was in love with Peyton. I loved Camilla, I wouldn’t have stayed with her for so long if I didn’t, but I wasn’t in love with her. After spending these past few weeks with Peyton, I wasn’t sure I could love another human being on this planet the way I loved that girl. Especially after what happened last night.

“Peyton, I…” I glanced up at Peyton, who was brave enough to still look me in the eye, as I searched for the right words to say. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, I’m so happy about what happened last night, I had no idea that it was…your first time doing that. I guess we had never really, talked about that sort of thing, you know, since we have just been really good friends until this past week. And good friends don’t talk about who or how many people they have slept with. I mean, God. I have no clue what I mean.” I laughed sheepishly before dropping Peyton’s hand out of mine. “I’m really glad you trusted me enough to give up something like that.”

She smirked quietly before nodding her head. “Do you want to get out of here?” She questioned quietly, glancing down at the barely touched muffin and our empty coffee mugs.

“Please,” I laughed, standing up from the chair before pressing a few bills onto the table and walking around it in order to make my way to the entrance of Rupture.

It almost came on instinct, but I found my arm slithering its way around Peyton’s waist almost instantly. I pulled her body close to mine as we continued to walk. Pressing my lips gently onto the top of her head, I couldn’t help but smile as she nudged open the door. The Texan air was somehow more refreshing than usual as we walked down the sidewalk of the desolate town.

* * *

Time with Peyton never seemed to be long enough, and eight-thirty had come sooner than I think both of us expected. I sighed before running my hand through Peyton’s hair once more and slightly nudged her. I felt bad for waking her up as she drifted asleep, but she couldn’t stay here tonight. Even when I wanted her to, so badly.

“Peyton, it’s almost nine,” I mumbled, watching as she slowly got up from my chest. “Has Harmony heard from you in a while?”

“I’m not sure,” she laughed before stumbling onto her feet. “But I should probably get going. I have to work an early shift at Rupture tomorrow.”

Tugging on my hand, Peyton pulled me up from the couch before pulling me into a tight hug. My stomach began to greet the knot once again as I stared at the clock in front of me.

“I’ll drive you home,” I suggested, grabbing my car keys from the table next to me. I retrieved her sweater for her before slowly opening the door of my apartment and leading her down to where I parked my car.

“You know,” She said quietly, sitting down into the passenger’s seat. “I don’t think I have never been in your car.”

“I would have walked you home,” I told her, powering on the engine and pulling out of the parking lot slowly, “but I have to run an errand in town after I drop you off.”

Peyton nodded her head slowly before turning her attention back to the scenery that was flying by my car window. The car ride to her house was silent, the only conversation between the two of us was when I had accidentally bumped my hand into hers on the compartment between our two seats.

I stared down at our intertwined hands now, still resting on the glove compartment, before slowly tracing my eyes up to hers. She was glancing at me softly, a small smile across her lips.

“I had a lot of fun,” she said quietly, “I’m really glad we got to do this.” I nodded my head in agreement before leaning down closer to her.

She smiled wider before pressing her lips onto mine, one simple kiss, and opening the front door. I watched as she slowly exited out of the car, our eyes staying on each other’s the entire time, before slamming the door shut behind her and making her way up to the front porch of her house. Without another word, she had walked inside of the building and shut the door.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I sat there, in awe of what had just happened, in the middle of her driveway. I wasn’t sure how long I was sitting there, but the buzzing of my phone moments later tore my attention away from the front door.

“Way to leave me hanging,” I said as soon as I answered the phone, assuming it to be Peyton that had called. Instead, I was greeted by the sound of what seemed to be a crowd of people.

“Joe?” Her voice. Her slightly agitated voice. “What did you just say?”

“Uh, Camilla.” I turned on the car quickly and pulled out of the driveway, turning the car in the direction of town. “I just said that I was on my way to pick you up. I have to go get something really quick before I come and get you, it will take me ten minutes, tops.”

She was either really angry with me still, or just jet-lagged. Either way, Camilla sighed loudly into the phone, that being her only response before hanging up the phone brutally.

* * *

It was beautiful. Not too much, not too little. Just right. The way it sparkled behind the display glass made my heart instantly thump harder in my chest. I watched as the person behind the counter slid open the glass window and reached out for my selection, easily handing me over the item as I studied the way it looked while resting in the palm of my hand.

“That is what you were looking for, Mr. Jonas?” The elderly lady that was working the store asked me. I glanced up at her, not being able to hide the smile, and nodded my head thankfully.

“It’s exactly what I was looking for, actually.” I replied, glancing down at the velvet box she had set down on the counter before me. I slid the ring, in all its glory, into the box and picked it up quickly, making my way around the counter to purchase it.

“The woman who gets this is going to be a very lucky girl,” The lady said quietly, accepting the money I had slid across the counter to her. In exchange, she gave me the ring and its box, which I slid open once more to admire the rock.

“I hope so,” I said quietly, sliding the ring into my pocket before accepting the change and receipt. With that, I was out of the store, into my car, and on the way to the airport.