Imperfectly Beautiful

“You know I don’t like surprise, Joe.” Camilla said as she stepped out of my SUV. I walked around the front of the car and placed my hands in front of her eyes, leading her down a path we had parked next to.

“You’ll like this one, I promise.” I told her quietly, leaning down in front of her ear. “Don’t open your eyes, okay?”

I walked out in front of her in time to see the small smile playing across her lips. “Okay, I wont.” I removed my hands from her eyes but stood directly in front of her in case she were to peak. Her eyes stayed shut as she waited patiently.

Camilla and I had been together for a while now. I liked to think no one knew her better than I did, which is why I had thought so long and hard on something I could do for Camilla before she left for England. The usual dinner and movie didn’t seem to be enough in this situation. I had to think of somewhere that she would remember for the long three weeks she was gone. A place where the media wouldn’t corrupt us.

It took me a while to think of horseback riding. I remembered Camilla telling me how she used to ride when she was younger, but she didn’t get the chance to nowadays. To me, it felt like something she would love to do. I wanted to show her that I listened to what she said, I cared about the things she missed, and that I wanted our time together to be something she wouldn’t forget.

I checked to make sure everything was in place before calling out Camilla’s name. “…Just follow the path.”

“With my eyes shut?” Camilla called back. The smile in her voice was obvious, and I laughed shortly. "I'll catch you if you trip." I reassured her, checking behind me to make sure her eyes were still closed.

Camilla's boots kicked up the loose dirt, which was bordered by thick grass on both sides. She stepped onto a stone and almost stumbled but I reached out and steadied her before she even had a chance to trip. She giggled and continued to walk and I checked behind myself, making sure that we weren't going to walk into anything.

"Almost there," I whispered, opening up the large wooden door that leads into the stable, which I rented out for the entire day. "Joe?" Camilla called, and I rushed out of the stable and to her side. "Yeah?" I asked her, trying to catch my breath.

"I was making sure you didn't run away." She laughed, a smile over sweeping her face. I chuckled and grabbed onto her hand, leading her inside of the stable and close to one end of it, where there was a latched gate separating us from the two horses. The horses were quiet, which I thanked God for. If they made a noise, the entire surprise would be ruined even before it started.

Without saying a word, I bent down slightly, pressing my lips against hers forcefully. She was startled at first but relaxed and smiled into the kiss, pulling away after a few short seconds. "Open." I whispered, and her chocolate brown eyes opened eagerly, staring into mine first. She gasped as she broke my stare to look around, her grin widening as she took in the surroundings.

"You remembered..." She whispered, still glancing from me to the two horses that were a mere five feet away from us. "Of course I did." I sighed, pulling her in closer for another kiss.

"This is perfect," She whispered while walking over towards the gate, smiling at the two horses which I picked personally. The stable owner guaranteed that these two horses were the calmest and most well behaved ones he had. "You like it?" I asked her, hugging her waist from behind.

"I love it," She smiled, leaning back and pressing her lips against my cheek. I laughed and turned her around. "You ready to ride?" I asked her, pulling her by the hand towards the open gate. She giggled and opened the wooden latch, swinging the fence open and letting go of my hand and right up the horse that I had picked specially for her.

I watched as she calmly ran her fingers over the smooth fur, with a coy smile on her face as she whispered something towards the horse. The horse had smooth, shiny, cream colored fur, exactly like the horse in the photo I had seen so many months before. The night that Camilla explained her love for horseback riding, was the night we sat looking through all her old photo albums for hours on end. One picture stood out in my memory. It was the 10 year old Camilla, perched up onto of her favorite horse. She explained to me how she would ride her everyday, just trying to pass time, and clear her mind.

"Think you still know how to ride?" I asked her, leaning against the wooden fence, watching as she enjoyed her time with the horse-just soaking in everything. "It's like a bike," She glanced at me, her teeth showing in a wide smile, "You never forget."

"Enough to teach me?" I questioned. She laughed and smirked my way. "I think so," She commented, patting the brown leather saddle on the back of the horse. In one swift motion, she pulled herself up onto the horse, only using one leg and arm, just like a pro. I watched with a wide smirk on my face. "Get up there, big boy." She joked, laughing as she stroked the fur of the horse again. I chuckled, and pulled myself onto the horse next to hers swiftly, staring back at her a smirk playing on my lips.

"Wow, you didn't fall." She giggled, clapping her hands lightly, and I laughed along. "I've had my fair share of experience." I explained, and with that she and her horse trotted ahead of me, and right out of the stable. She glanced back at me, her eyes meeting mine, and a smile playing on her lips. Right then and there, I longed for my camera. I wanted to capture that moment forever-but I knew, that this moment would always be in my heart.

We rode in silence until we were a few miles away from the stables. Camilla had been a few feet ahead of me and my horse but she slowed slightly when we entered a part of the field where the grass seemed to get taller and the white-picket fences had disappeared from beside us.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Camilla asked as soon as my horse trotted up next to her. I cupped my hand over my face so I could see her face through the bright beams of sun shining down onto us.

“Yeah, we’re almost there.” I said quietly, keeping my horse unmoving. Camilla did the same and smiled up at me.

“This is really nice Joe, thank you.” I heard from beside me. Glancing at the winding field in front of me, I laughed.

“I wanted this to be special.” I informed her. I glimpsed next to me, expecting to see Camilla, but she wasn’t there. Glancing in front of me, the surroundings were empty. The only movement was the long grass flying with the wind. I looked behind me though and saw that Camilla had stopped her horse completely and was now watching me as I attempted to turn the horse around.

When I finally slowed down and paused at Camilla and her horse, I saw the worried look on her face. “I don’t want you to think this is goodbye, Joe.”

Once again, I struggled to get off the horse. I managed and pushed my hair out of my face. “I wont see you for three weeks.” I stated. Camilla sighed and glanced around us quickly.

“But we’ll see each other again. It’s not goodbye.” She argued. “We’ve done this before. We’ve gotten through it.”

I nodded my head and glanced down at her. “I never doubted that.” She looked at me for a few moments in silence and shrugged her shoulders. “You just seem different this time. I don’t know why.”

My stomach dropped at her mentioning my sudden mood change lately. I didn’t realize it, I didn’t think it was even happening. Shaking the thought out of my head, I said the first thing that popped into my mind.

“Nick told me Rob was going to be in England.” Camilla’s face strangely softened after I spoke.

“Is that what this is about?” She closed the gap between us. “Joe, Robert is only my friend.” Her thumb ran up the length of my arm, causing a shiver to travel down my spine in the August heat.
“I know, Nick just made me…” I laughed and rolled my eyes. “…worried. But that’s just Nick.” Camilla smiled weakly and tilted her head up towards me.

“I would never do anything to hurt you.” She whispered. I smiled and nodded my head, ducking my head down so I was eye level with her. Pressing my lips onto Camilla’s gently, I wrapped my arms around the back of her waist and pulled her as close to me as it was humanly possible. She flattened her hands against my chest and pushed away slightly. I didn’t need to hear the question she was about to ask to answer it.

“You’re the only girl for me, Camilla.” I whispered, keeping my hands on her hips. “I promise.” She smiled and we wrapped our arms around each other, taking in this final moment of closeness.
But there was something unsure about our hands contacting each other.

Something hesitant about the way we moved away from our embrace. Something doubtful about the smile on both of our faces as we walked back to the horses that were waiting to bring us back to reality.