If Only You Knew

“WHAT!?” I practically shouted. Peter + a girlfriend = N-o W-a-y.

“Yeah, she’s waiting in there to meet you. I met her through my business.” Peter’s voice was calm, and he was still looking me in the eye, but something felt off.

“That’s not possible,” I whispered to myself, but my brother heard.

“Actually, you’re right. I don’t and will never want a girlfriend, I don’t want to be tied down. A girlfriend is too much responsibility,” says the brother who took in his younger sister. ‘To much responsibility’ my butt.

“Oh really now,” I said sarcastically, not believing any word of it.

“Really.” Peter held out his hand and we did our secret handshake, which held promises like a pinkie promise did. I believed him now, we took our promises very seriously, he wouldn’t have done the shake if he was lying.

“Were you kidding about the reservation?”

“No!” he said, taken aback. “Some guy I took family photos of said that he was so impressed with the way the pictures of him, his wife and son came out that he wanted me to have a nice dinner with you.” Seeing the look on my face he continued. “The guy saw the picture of you I keep on my rearview mirror.” That answered my question.

“So it’s just the two of us tonight? We’re actually going to sit down and have a nice dinner together?” It’s been so long since something like this happened.

“That’s right,” he said, linking arms with me. Together, we entered the building, skipping, what a sight we must be. Being lead to our table, Peter and I were stared at, by anyone who was near. We weren’t skipping, but it’s not everyday that you see a just above five foot girl arm in arm with her over six foot brother. Once we rounded the corner, the waiter pointed to our table; it wasn’t empty.

I froze. A warm feeling spread quickly through me as I took in the three other people sitting at our table. Sitting at our table was, Mr., Mrs., and Chace_____. My eyes traveled over Chace, taking in the best friend I haven’t seen or talked to for months. He looked great, the same as when I left, if not better. Noticing what a fool I must look like standing in the middle of the room, staring, I walked up to the table. Chace stood, said hi, then hugged me. This kind of contact surprised me, but still thrilled me. We had never hugged before, even if we had known each other since fifth grade. The only contact we ever made was holding hands, and that was only when we helped the other off the ground for whatever reason.

“I’m glad your back,” he whispered in my ear. His breath on my neck sent chills down my back.

“Me too,” I sighed. We broke apart and took our seats next to each other. Something was different in the air in between Chace and me. It was… different, but good. I took my napkin from the table and laid it on my lap, but before I could put my right hand on the table, Chace’s hand took it. I jumped a little, not expecting this, but wasn’t about to complain.

Dinner was awkward for two reasons: 1) Chace’s parent and my brother knew something was going on between the two of us and 2) I was eating dinner with my left hand, which isn’t the easiest thing to do. No matter the little things, I was in heaven during the whole dinner; Chace held my hand the whole time, never once letting go.

As Peter drove us home, I gazed dreamily out the window at the half moon, my hand on the little bulge in my pocket. The ride home was quiet and quick; I didn’t know we lived so close to the Inn. When Peter parked his car in the designated area, I walked in a daze through the lobby and to the stairs. I walked up a flight of stairs, then stopped and sat down. Peter always took the elevator, so I knew I was safe. I needed to see it. I was too scared to open it, but I needed to see it.

I gently pulled the heart shaped, black-blue velvet covered box out of my front jean pocket. It was small, no larger than the palm of my hand, but still beautiful. Inside it, it held every dream that could possibly come true, but also every nightmare. What could possibly be in it?

Deciding that enough time had gone by, I put the little box back into my pocket and walked up the remaining flights to our apartment, on the top floor. Peter was lounging on the couch watching the nightly news.

“Did you enjoy dinner?” he asked not looking up.

“Uh, yeah. That was a great surprise, thanks.” I continued walking to the stairs that lead to my room. I felt strangely detached from my body, everything just went so… perfect tonight. I had gotten to see him, my best friend, my other half, my… love. He didn’t know that, but I loved him, and tonight was everything to me. When I was up in my room I climbed into my bed, fully clothed. I lay on my back staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars I stuck to my ceiling. They weren’t really glowing though, not while the Christmas lights were on. I turned onto my stomach, propping my head in my hands as I stared at the three pictures taped to the wall just above where I lay my head down to sleep.

Three people.

Four friends.

Different lives.

The heart shaped box seemed to grow hot as I lay on it, so I took it out of my pocket once more. If it were from anyone other than Chace I would’ve opened it with Peter as an audience. I trusted Peter more than I trusted myself, but this was something I needed to do by myself.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened the box. I folded up piece of paper fell out and I snapped the box closed, even if it were barely open. I picked up the note and opened it.

Dear Lynely,

Remember how I gave you that nickname when you confessed to me in fifth grade that you hated your name? I loved your name though, but gave you a nickname all the same. You were the best friend I had ever had, and the first day I set eyes on you, I had a feeling you were someone worth following. Not following in that creepy stalker way, definitely not!

Remember when you told me that you weren’t going to be in the same Middle School the next year? I told you that I was going to go with you, no matter what. That kind of following. We had a fight that day though. You said that I didn’t need to protect you, and to this day you still probably wonder why I got so mad at that. To you it was probably a little thing, moving. You just said that to let yourself know that you weren’t weak like Andrew said you were. But, to me you did need to be protected. Not just protected by the new walls of a school or a hallway full of people you don’t know and who don’t know you either, but by me. I needed to be your protector, and I couldn’t stand to see you leave.

You didn’t understand why I was so mad, so when I said some things I shouldn’t have, you left. You turned your back on me, and didn’t talk to me for the whole entire summer. I tried calling you, but I didn’t t know your number; you and Peter had just moved in with his business partner, and no matter who I called they didn’t have your number.

Lucky for me, you had let slip the school you were going to, so I told my parents. Though they didn’t understand the urgency, they enrolled me there. As the first day of school drew nearer, my nerves grew stronger. What if you told me you hated me for going against what you said? I knew that would never happen, but I was too nervous for reality.

You were so mad when you saw me walking in the halls of “Your School”. You continued to ignore me for one more month, one long, thirty-one day month. It was torture, but I decided that after I went back on your wish, the most I could do was give your space. We passed each other in the hall, and though I would smile at you, you just looked the other way and started to talk to either Melissa or Parker, whichever one was with you at that moment. You can definitely hold grudges.

The night before we started talking again there was a meteor shower. As I sat on the bay window in my room, looking up at the sky, I wished on every shooting star that next time you would be there with me. It was then that I realized what I was feeling, what was drawing me to wherever you were. I swore to myself that I would tell you the next day, ‘cause once I realized it, I knew it was something I had felt from the moment I set eyes on you, all those years ago in fifth grade. But, the next day, before I could tell you, you came up to me and told me that you were auditioning for If Only You Knew. “If Only You Knew… how I feel” I thought to myself. After you told me your news, we became friends again, right away, as if we never had our fight.

The rest of the school year went without any fights, and I quickly became friends with Melissa and Parker, but you were still my best. A little while after summer break started, you heard back from If Only You Knew, you had made the part! I was so happy for you, and once again, I had the urge to tell you my true feelings, but didn’t. You told me, once again, that you were moving, only this time it would be more than 800 miles away. I didn’t want you to, but I kept my mouth closed, no more fighting for us. You left a few weeks later, not saying goodbye to anyone. Maybe it was less painful to you that way, but it hurt me more than you will ever know! This meant that you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did about you.

After you left, I couldn’t take the secret anymore, so I told Mel and Parker about my crush on you. What they told me about you had me so excited. I guess my parents found out about my crush on you, since a month later they decided to move out to Hollywood, closer to you. That’s why we were there tonight. I missed you, my family missed you, that’s why we moved out here. To my parents, you have always been like family, and since all our other family lives way far away, what’s a little more distance?

I really hoped we surprised you. We already have a house, we’ve been in town for a few weeks, but decided to keep quiet, to surprise you.

This was the only way I could tell you the truth about, well… everything, so please forgive me if this isn’t the way you wanted to find out. I know you haven’t opened the box yet, so open it. It’s a gift from me, so I hope you like it. You probably know this by now, but here it is again, I love you, always have, always will.

Please be my girlfriend, Lynely,

I love you,
Chace

I stared at the ring inside the box, stunned at both it’s beauty and what I had just read. He loved me, Chace loved me. Gently I took the ring out of the box and place it on my fingers.

“I love you, always have, always will,” I said as I admired the simple ring, copying Chace’s words. The ring was a silver band, inscribed with his name, then a heart, and then my name.

As I lay in bed that night, all I could think was that now all my dreams had come true.