Don't Try and Change Me When It Won't Friggin' Work, for I Am Billie Joe Armstrong!
Same Old Shit
"Alright Billie Joe, here's the deal, son..."
"I'm not you're son, you're definetley not my father, I'm dead sure of that!" Billie retorted sarcastically.
"Yes well... Ithink that if you take up some extra curricular activities..."
Billie Joe sighed and leaned back in his chair staring out of the window.
"... Then we can forget about this little incident!" Mr Rayman suggested.
"Dude... Ah... Sir, look it wasn't me, I swear," Billie screeched.
"And you know who did..."
"No!"
"... So until you tell me you will take the punishment..."
"Fine then punish me," Billie said looking Mr Rayman square in the eye.
'The big gay, ginger bastard! ' Billie thought angrily.
"Well yes actually I think I will, I want you to join a sports team."
WTF, No fucking way was Billie gonna do that.
"Your not serious... Sir I don't do fucking sports!"
"Aaaand you can carry a swear jar around with you..."
Shit! Now he'd gone and done it... Mr Rayman's dumb fat wife made homemade jam for the faculty members, who returned the empty jars to Mr Rayman so he could put his new 'swearing prevention' procedure into action.
To Billie's dismay, and to Rayman's amusement, he lifted an empty jar from the cupboard in his desk and slid it across the top.
"Ten cents Mr Armstrong..."
Billie reached into his pocket for a ten... The worst thing about it was that he didn't get to keep the money at the end of the month, it was donated to the school's carricular fund... Sucky!
Mr Rayman smiled as the coin hit the bottom of the jar.
"Now remember give this too your teacher at the beginning of each class so that if they hear you swear they can make you donate... And NO SPENDING!"
"Whatever!" Billie snapped and walked out.
Mike and Al were waiting outside the office.
"He rag on you much?" Mike asked. Billie held up the jar, "Oh.. That aint good!"
Mike added.
"So are you are so going to tell him who really did it?" Al asked.
"No... I'm not a grass!" Bilie replied, "Oh and you'll never guess what else he's making do!" Billie said.
"What?" Mikea and Al asked.
"Join a sports team!"
"No way!" Mike and Al replied.
"Yes way and I have to decide by the end of the week what sport to take up, so you guys have gotta help me pick something that makes me... Well... Me!"
"You could do a guitar marathon!" Al suggested jokily.
"Oh yeah right, Mr Rayman would love that!" Billie replied as they walked home from school.
"Are we going to Gilman tonight, The Lookouts are playing and that dude Tre, you know their drummer, he's cool, we're gonna hang out after they play!"
Billie nodded, "After the day i've had 'Gil' seems like heaven, call me later i'm gonna stop by Shaz's!"
Al laughed, "Oooo Shaz, hey Bill, How much do they charge for the word Dick?" he laughed hysterically.
Billie put his hands in his pockets and sauntered off to Shaz's house. Shaz was his ex best friends mom, Ally was his ex-best friend, she died in a car accident a year ago but Ally's now single parent mother and Billie remained good friends. Sharon was like his agony aunt.
"Hey sharon you home?" Billie called out, he just walked in nowadays, Sharon didn't mind, he was practically the only family she really had.
"Hey Billie hun, what's up? She asked happy to see him.
"Just from school..." he said drearily.
"Not a fun day, huh?" sharon predicted.
"Not at all, Mr Rayman, the principle, he's punishing me for something I didnt do!"
"That's awful what?" Sharon asked
"Some one... Well... My mate Al, he blocked up the boys bogs with bog roll and flooded the bathroom!" Billie explained.
"And you were caught at the scene right?" Sharon predicted again, she was good at that!
"Yeah, well now he's making me join a team and carry around a dumb swear jar!" Billie moaned.
"Sharon ruffled his hair, "That's just another draw back in life, kiddo... Just like a bad draw back you can have as a majorly famous band on a tour. You gotta take the bad things with a pinch of salt and work hard on the good things, for example, your guitar!" she disappeared into the closet adn returned with a baby blue stratocaster, it was Billie's first and only guitar... Which he'd named 'Blue'.
"Oh yeah I forgot I left it here," Billie said smiling.
"Why don't you let me hear that song you keep telling me about!" she suggested and Billie obliged.
Al's Place
Mike and Al watched the new release of James Bond, they were in stitches as they drank their root beer, Al's parents were out.
"This movie sucks! I think i'd need to be stoned to watch this and like it!" Mike said. Al agreed, "Yeah I know, but it's either that or... Pretty Woman!"
Mike cocked his head, "This movie isn't so bad after all!"
The phone rang, "Dude where are you?"
It was Billie...
"Okay we're coming now!"
They hung out at Gilman for a while and watched The Lookouts play.
Tre hung out with them after at a house party.
When Monday arrived, Billie had decided to join the tennis team, he'd had more experience with that although he hated the white shorts.
Then one day he met his toughest apponent yet, a really FIT babe called Lacy Owen, she was amazing, they dated for a while then one day he caught her kissing some other guy behind the bike shed.
SLUT
Well anyway, Rayman had backed off a bit and by the end of the month the swear jar was full to the brim with pound coins for calling his home Ec teacher a dick and a few notes for calling his religious Ed teacher a homophobic Wanker.
Mr Raymam requested Billie return the jar on the Monday morning, then he had a fantastic idea...
Billie was outside Mike'son saturday morning, sitting in a vintage beat up Thunderbird van.
"What... The... The... Hell... Is... That?" Mike asked when he emerged from Al's villa.
Al gaped in awe, "I didn't know you had a licence!" Al remarked.
"He doesn't!" Mike said, "Bill get out of the car!"
"Why? Guys we're going on a road trip!" Billie announced.
"No we're not, for starters Angela would kill me... And... You have a swear jar to return!" Mike said.
"Not any more!" Billie said smiling, "Hop in!"
"Alright!" Al said jumping in to the convertible.
"Oh for goodness sake, Al get out of the fucking car!" Mike yelled.
"No way dude, it's not every day you get an offer like this." Al said.
"Come on Mike schools nearly over for the summer anyway!" Billie said. Mike he'sistated, alright, let me grab my guitar!" he said excitedly.
"Hey I need my drums!" Al yelled.
"Wel come and get them then cus I aint!" Mike yelled back.
When their livley hood was piled into the van they set off.
Their journey was help up a couple of seconds because they saw Tre at Ellie's Hot Dog stand.
"Dude we're going on a road trip wanna come!" Billie asked.
Tre smiled..." Um yeah as long as I can bring steven!"
They all looked at him, "Ah whos steven?" Billie asked.
"My invisible pet seagull!"
...
"Oh... Um okay... Sure why not!" Billie said and Tre excitedly jumped into the van.
They set off to tour the USA...
"I'm not you're son, you're definetley not my father, I'm dead sure of that!" Billie retorted sarcastically.
"Yes well... Ithink that if you take up some extra curricular activities..."
Billie Joe sighed and leaned back in his chair staring out of the window.
"... Then we can forget about this little incident!" Mr Rayman suggested.
"Dude... Ah... Sir, look it wasn't me, I swear," Billie screeched.
"And you know who did..."
"No!"
"... So until you tell me you will take the punishment..."
"Fine then punish me," Billie said looking Mr Rayman square in the eye.
'The big gay, ginger bastard! ' Billie thought angrily.
"Well yes actually I think I will, I want you to join a sports team."
WTF, No fucking way was Billie gonna do that.
"Your not serious... Sir I don't do fucking sports!"
"Aaaand you can carry a swear jar around with you..."
Shit! Now he'd gone and done it... Mr Rayman's dumb fat wife made homemade jam for the faculty members, who returned the empty jars to Mr Rayman so he could put his new 'swearing prevention' procedure into action.
To Billie's dismay, and to Rayman's amusement, he lifted an empty jar from the cupboard in his desk and slid it across the top.
"Ten cents Mr Armstrong..."
Billie reached into his pocket for a ten... The worst thing about it was that he didn't get to keep the money at the end of the month, it was donated to the school's carricular fund... Sucky!
Mr Rayman smiled as the coin hit the bottom of the jar.
"Now remember give this too your teacher at the beginning of each class so that if they hear you swear they can make you donate... And NO SPENDING!"
"Whatever!" Billie snapped and walked out.
Mike and Al were waiting outside the office.
"He rag on you much?" Mike asked. Billie held up the jar, "Oh.. That aint good!"
Mike added.
"So are you are so going to tell him who really did it?" Al asked.
"No... I'm not a grass!" Bilie replied, "Oh and you'll never guess what else he's making do!" Billie said.
"What?" Mikea and Al asked.
"Join a sports team!"
"No way!" Mike and Al replied.
"Yes way and I have to decide by the end of the week what sport to take up, so you guys have gotta help me pick something that makes me... Well... Me!"
"You could do a guitar marathon!" Al suggested jokily.
"Oh yeah right, Mr Rayman would love that!" Billie replied as they walked home from school.
"Are we going to Gilman tonight, The Lookouts are playing and that dude Tre, you know their drummer, he's cool, we're gonna hang out after they play!"
Billie nodded, "After the day i've had 'Gil' seems like heaven, call me later i'm gonna stop by Shaz's!"
Al laughed, "Oooo Shaz, hey Bill, How much do they charge for the word Dick?" he laughed hysterically.
Billie put his hands in his pockets and sauntered off to Shaz's house. Shaz was his ex best friends mom, Ally was his ex-best friend, she died in a car accident a year ago but Ally's now single parent mother and Billie remained good friends. Sharon was like his agony aunt.
"Hey sharon you home?" Billie called out, he just walked in nowadays, Sharon didn't mind, he was practically the only family she really had.
"Hey Billie hun, what's up? She asked happy to see him.
"Just from school..." he said drearily.
"Not a fun day, huh?" sharon predicted.
"Not at all, Mr Rayman, the principle, he's punishing me for something I didnt do!"
"That's awful what?" Sharon asked
"Some one... Well... My mate Al, he blocked up the boys bogs with bog roll and flooded the bathroom!" Billie explained.
"And you were caught at the scene right?" Sharon predicted again, she was good at that!
"Yeah, well now he's making me join a team and carry around a dumb swear jar!" Billie moaned.
"Sharon ruffled his hair, "That's just another draw back in life, kiddo... Just like a bad draw back you can have as a majorly famous band on a tour. You gotta take the bad things with a pinch of salt and work hard on the good things, for example, your guitar!" she disappeared into the closet adn returned with a baby blue stratocaster, it was Billie's first and only guitar... Which he'd named 'Blue'.
"Oh yeah I forgot I left it here," Billie said smiling.
"Why don't you let me hear that song you keep telling me about!" she suggested and Billie obliged.
Al's Place
Mike and Al watched the new release of James Bond, they were in stitches as they drank their root beer, Al's parents were out.
"This movie sucks! I think i'd need to be stoned to watch this and like it!" Mike said. Al agreed, "Yeah I know, but it's either that or... Pretty Woman!"
Mike cocked his head, "This movie isn't so bad after all!"
The phone rang, "Dude where are you?"
It was Billie...
"Okay we're coming now!"
They hung out at Gilman for a while and watched The Lookouts play.
Tre hung out with them after at a house party.
When Monday arrived, Billie had decided to join the tennis team, he'd had more experience with that although he hated the white shorts.
Then one day he met his toughest apponent yet, a really FIT babe called Lacy Owen, she was amazing, they dated for a while then one day he caught her kissing some other guy behind the bike shed.
SLUT
Well anyway, Rayman had backed off a bit and by the end of the month the swear jar was full to the brim with pound coins for calling his home Ec teacher a dick and a few notes for calling his religious Ed teacher a homophobic Wanker.
Mr Raymam requested Billie return the jar on the Monday morning, then he had a fantastic idea...
Billie was outside Mike'son saturday morning, sitting in a vintage beat up Thunderbird van.
"What... The... The... Hell... Is... That?" Mike asked when he emerged from Al's villa.
Al gaped in awe, "I didn't know you had a licence!" Al remarked.
"He doesn't!" Mike said, "Bill get out of the car!"
"Why? Guys we're going on a road trip!" Billie announced.
"No we're not, for starters Angela would kill me... And... You have a swear jar to return!" Mike said.
"Not any more!" Billie said smiling, "Hop in!"
"Alright!" Al said jumping in to the convertible.
"Oh for goodness sake, Al get out of the fucking car!" Mike yelled.
"No way dude, it's not every day you get an offer like this." Al said.
"Come on Mike schools nearly over for the summer anyway!" Billie said. Mike he'sistated, alright, let me grab my guitar!" he said excitedly.
"Hey I need my drums!" Al yelled.
"Wel come and get them then cus I aint!" Mike yelled back.
When their livley hood was piled into the van they set off.
Their journey was help up a couple of seconds because they saw Tre at Ellie's Hot Dog stand.
"Dude we're going on a road trip wanna come!" Billie asked.
Tre smiled..." Um yeah as long as I can bring steven!"
They all looked at him, "Ah whos steven?" Billie asked.
"My invisible pet seagull!"
...
"Oh... Um okay... Sure why not!" Billie said and Tre excitedly jumped into the van.
They set off to tour the USA...