Don't Try and Change Me When It Won't Friggin' Work, for I Am Billie Joe Armstrong!

The next morning they were already leaving town:
"Okay so where to now guys?" Billie asked his friends whom he was very glad to be with on the road trip.
"The Windy City!" Tre piped up.
"What? Chicago?" Al remarked, "Why what's there?"
"Are you kidding me? Show girls!" Tre told him excitedly.
"Oh that doesn't sound like fun and that's not everyday I'd say that!" Al remarked.
"Yeah, man, I'd have to agree with Al on that one," Billie remarked and took a right out of the city. The leaving sign said:

"You are now leaving Las Vegas... .Rock on!!!"

"I wanna go to LA!" Mike announced.
"Yeah LA sounds like fun, The City of Angels!" Tre agreed.
"Then LA it is!" Billie decided and Al assisted him with he mapping.
Tre leaned back in his seat and swung his legs up over Mike's legs; he put on a squeaky Grandma voice and began ranting too much as usual when he was over excited.
"I'm a gonna find myself a hot, little Angel and take of her Halo and take of her Jesus Sandals and take of her dres... .
"TRE!" Mike, Billie and Al yelled, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

A few hours later the all felt really tired they pulled into a garage to crab some coffee.
Suddenly ... .the engine fell out of the van.

"Shit... Fuck... Bollocks, now what!" Billie screamed as he Tre, Mike and Al stood looking at the busted engine.
"Maybe we could trade it in... " Tre suggested.
"For what peanuts?" Billie snapped.
"Well maybe we could get it fixed I mean we have the money!" Mike suggested.
"Screw that idea, man, I ain't spending my money on getting a butt ugly van fixed, let's buy a new one!" Tre announced.
"Fuck you we're getting it fixed!" Al replied hastily.
"This is a disaster!" Mike stated.
"You boys need some help?" A sexy female voice announced from behind them.
The boys turned and gaped in shock at the sex on legs in front of them. She was hot, covered in sweat, tanned from head to toe due to hours working in the sun, long black wavy hair and wearing denim cut offs into hot pants and a red tank top cut in a belly T.

"Holy shit," Says Mike
"Fuck me," Whispered Tre.
"Whoa... "says Al.
"Sweetness," Says Billie.

"Can I help you?" The girl said.
"Uh... uh... uh... uh," Billie stammered.
"Yeah what he's trying to say is... ah... " Al stammered.
"What he's trying to say is, Holy Cow!" Tre muttered suddenly looking at her hot legs.
"Ah forgive my friends, I'm Mike, I, I mean, we, have a problem because the engine fell out of our van," he said coolly.
"Oh well then let me take a look!" she said sauntering over. The boy's heads followed her like a moth to the flame.
"The attachments grew weak is all, I can fix it, you'll need a new engine including new skeletal work, it'll take all night though do you guys need a place to stay?"
"Hell, yeah!" Tre said.
"Well there's a motel just down the road, I can drive you there."
"HUH?" Billie Joe, Tre and Al said looking at each other.

*An Hour Later At the Motel*

"This fucking sucks... Mike why didn't you make her fall in love with you then we could have all slept with her!" Tre moaned. Mike groaned,
"She's a lady, Tre, not a blow up doll!"
Billie laughed with Al, "Aw, poor Tre... Ha, ha!"
They were all sitting watching a shit made for TV movie when there was a knock at the door.
Mike jumped up and jogged to the door.
"Oh hey Tasha, you okay?"
"Yeah! Hey there's this party tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to go?" Tasha asked angelically.
Mike was gonna say yes but then Tre arrived over his shoulder.
"Say fucking yes you pussy and invite me along for the ride!" He remarked hanging on Mikes shoulder and hissing the words in his ear like a pest. Billie appeared also, "Yeah you'd be an idiot to turn that down!"
Al arrived below him and said, "Bring me or I'll kick your ass!"

A half an hour later they were piled into Tasha's truck and she was driving them to the "kick ass party". They pulled up outside a busted up old house and got out.
Mike walked by Tasha as they approached the house. There was a loud noise from inside. Music, (if you could call it that), pierced the night.
"Is that... DJ Sammy? That's Chav music!" Tre screeched.
"Tasha, are you into this stuff?" Mike asked.
"NO! I just saw the post for the party on the internet I thought I could check it out because it was nearby but I didn't want to go on my own... so I... "
"Called us?" Mike replied feeling used.
"Yeah... sorry," Tasha replied.
"Hey that's okay, I don't like the look of this place, I'm glad you called, come on let's go." Mike said taking her hand and walking toward the house.

"What? You're still going?" Billie asked.
"Yeah it's got free alcohol, and beds! We're going, end of... " Mike replied.
They other three sighed and followed the bassist into the house.
They opened the door and what they saw was unbelievable.
It looked like attack of the Ali G clones, "Holy shit... .we've just walked into Bling Central!" Tre muttered.
The party was indeed an all American Chav "Partay" but Mike was right, it did have free alcohol and beds and... women.

Tre positioned himself beside the stereo and tried to turn on the radio to Kerrang.
He was accused of crashing the party.
"What the fuck are you doin' home dog?" Some dark guy with a huge yellow bommer jacket on asked.
"Ah just seeing if there is any good songs on the radio...say, you must be hot?"
"What?" The guy looked at him funny.
"You know hot... NO... I mean you look hot in that jacket... "
"We got ourselves a gay crasher!"
"NO I meant... please... "
"Gimp... gimp... .gimp... " the Chavs chanted and they stripped him of his clothes and hoisted him in the air. Tre was now wearing only his boxers.
Billie, Mike and Al were too involved in women to care.
Mike was deep in conversation with Tasha, Billie had a pretty blonde girl and Al had found himself face to face with a little 'Rock' chick who had wondered into the party almost by accident.
Billie suddenly noticed Tre and laughed, "Ha, finally, it's his turn to be the butt monkey!" he said excitedly and waved to Tre, "Bye... hope you enjoy... "
Tre disappeared through the garage door still being carried by the Chavs.

***

"So Tasha, tell me more about you?" Mike said turning to Tasha.
"Well my father owns the store, and I work there... that's basically it." She replied, Mike loved this mystery about her.
He smiled and stroked her bare arm, "Your so beautiful... do you know that?" he whispered.
Tasha blushed... "Stop being so nice to me, Mike," she demanded.
"Why... " he wondered.
"It makes me nervous... " she replied blushing.
"Well I bet I can make you even more nervous," Mike teased looking deep into her hazel eyes.
"Try me... " she sniggered.
He leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips... "How was that?" he murmured quite mesmerised.
"Not even close!" she whispered then stood up and held out her hand.
Mike took it and she pulled him up to follow her.
"Where are we going?" he asked a little taken aback.
"Don't talk... .just follow," She whispered and she led him up stairs.

***
Tre sat, tied to a rocking chair in the garage. He looked on tearfully as the Chavs applied make-up. Eye liner he could deal but red lipstick and blue eye powder. He only ever did that when he was drunk or stoned or rocking out or all three, which he definitely wasn't doing tonight.
"Guys... come on I meant with the weight of that insanely large jacket that you must me hot, hot as in high body temperature!" Tre squealed, they didn't listen they just poured cold beer down his underwear.
"AHHHH THATS COLD... .." he screamed.

***

Billie and his blonde girl went for a walk outside in the wood, beside the house.
She pulled him hard by the hand and wouldn't slow down.
"Whoa... your really strong... where are we going?" Billie asked and she replied,
"Just hurry up, there's someone I want you to meet!"
"Who?" Billie wondered growing fearful. If she had someone to meet him she must know him somehow. That seemed farfetched since he'd never seen this woman in his entire life.
"You'll see... " she replied.
They walked for about five minutes and he could see the house as a tiny speck through the wood.

***

Al was trying to dance with the weird fast music being played... he couldn't get that damned Hilary Duff song out of his head... probably because it was on repeat.
"So ah you like drummers?" Al asked Danni, smiling devilishly.
"Um... Yeah I guess," Danni replied, smiling shyly then she added, "I am a drummer!" she informed him.
"Wow... " Al said smiling happily.
"I'm sorry am I annoying you?" She asked.
Al looked surprised; he realized he must be coming on as quite nervous and not totally in the game.
"Oh hell no! You just carry on doing you're thing, I'm mesmerized by it!" Al said honestly.
Danni laughed, "I'm not doing anything?" she asked confused.
"Well imagine how mesmerized I'd be if you were!" He said astounded.
"You're so funny... but charming at the same time...I ain't never had that,"
"I'm so glad you're here... if it weren't for you I'd either jerking off in the bathroom due to stress of Chav-mania, dancing the tango to Hilary here or beating Mike!"
Danni burst out laughing and Al went red when he realized he'd talked about masturbation to this half stranger.
"Well like wise, if you weren't here I'd be doing the same stuff! Except maybe the Tango," She agreed supportively. Al grinned sheepishly and pulled her closer, "Wrong!" he said as he began dancing the tango with Danni who laughed hysterically.

***

Mike sat on the edge of the bed as Tasha went to the toilet in the en suite bathroom. She hung over the sink as she worked. Worked at what you may ask, well first she stripped off to reveal a black lacy lingerie ensemble and then fiddled with her necklace. It beeped and gave of a flashing red light before becoming an inanimate piece of jewellery again. She eventually doused herself with a small bottle of perfume she had hiding down her cleavage and proceeded to woo the man she would be set to sabotage... it was strangely against her will. She knew he had the keys to the van... those other three pricks were too deranged to even handle talking to her so he'd taken control. She couldn't believe her boss had messed things up with the damn party... .Chavs? Well at least it didn't ruin her plans.
She opened the door... ..