All Nightmare Long

Waking up is the most difficult task for me right now. I can hear the sound of people moving around me as I drift into consciousness, and I can feel the back of my head throb more with every passing second. I finally muster up enough strength to open my eyes, which nearly blinds me with light flooding in from a window. Whoever is around me seems to notice this, because I hear a male’s voice say, “Shut that drape, will you?”

When the room is bearable to look at, my vision adjusts to find Matt and Jay sitting next to me on the couch in the common room. They were right; shit isn’t even the word I would use to describe how I feel right now. Though there is no more light blinding me, my eyes still feel sore. They’re nothing compared to the rest of my body, though. I struggle to sit up, but finally manage to prop myself up on my elbows. “No, lay back.”

Jay moves forward and gently pushes me so I’m back where I began. I try to sit up again, but he’s keeping his hand firmly on my shoulders. “Jay…”

“Are you alright? Do you feel dizzy? Should we take you to the hospital wing?”

“No Matt, I’m fine. I think. Where’s Draco?”

Jay lifts my head up smoothly and leans in to look at the back, gently pressing on the area I had injured. It enticed me to wince. “Well, you’re not bleeding anymore at least. Bet that hurts though, doesn’t it? You took a right good smack to that wall last night.”

“Where is Draco?” I didn’t ask nicely.

They look at each other briefly before Jay begins to explain. “He wasn’t in the dormitory last night. Well, neither were we, but we went up briefly to get a pillow and blanket for you. He was gone, though. No idea where he is; probably off having a good sulk.”

“I have to go find him.” I try to stand once more, but end up pushed back by Jay again. “Jay, let go.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t let you get up yet, you’re going to pass out.”

I somehow manage to push his arm off of the grip it has on my shoulders and move to stand up. As soon as I’m up though, a spell of dizziness hits me so hard that I end up collapsing into Matt. I swear under my breath as they gently force me to lie down once more and throw the blanket over me.

There are footsteps coming from the stairwell to the girls’ dormitories, and seconds later Pansy Parkinson is revealed in the doorway. She walks past us, but then stops and turns to face us. “What’s wrong with Keelan?”

“Sick,” both of the boys reply. When she gives a questioning look, Matt says, “Stomach virus is going around, she probably caught it. Puking all night and such.”

She nods slowly, seeming to only half-believe him. “So why isn’t Draco taking care of her?”

“Because he probably hates me.”

My answer seems to please her, as she began to make her way to the door of the common room with a bit of a spring in her step. I don’t even realize that tears began to leak out of my eyes until Jay starts wiping them away. “It’s okay, love.”

I shake my head. “No, it isn’t. I love him, and I completely went against him. He’s going to break up with me, I know he is. He’s going to tell everyone what I did.”

Matt reaches down to move the hair out of my face. “We don’t have any more missions for this moon cycle, but I’m pretty sure next month is when the shit is really going to hit the ceiling. Don’t worry about that now, though. You need to rest up for tonight.”

“What’s going on tonight?” I managed to get my emotions back in check before I asked this.

“Well, you’re transforming again. Three times per moon cycle for us. We’ll probably just chill in the forest like we do when we don’t have any jobs.”

I groan, having forgotten for a moment of my new condition. The door to the common room opens to reveal Moose and Padge walking in, Moose carrying a bunch of something wrapped in a napkin. “We brought you some food, Keelan. And before you can object to eating it, you really shouldn’t skip out on meals when the moon is full. Trust me, it can get nasty. Even Wolfsbane can’t stop you from ripping someone apart if you’re hungry enough.”

“Fantastic.”

I manage to sit up a bit, with the help of Matt, and accept what turns out to be a sandwich from him. “Is it lunch time already?”

Moose shakes his head. “Barely ten in the morning, actually. We got one of the house elves to make you that, though. Enjoy.”

“Thanks.” I take a bite to discover it was roast beef, one of my favorites. These guys really know how to treat someone.

The tension in the air rises suddenly. I look up and realize why. Draco had walked into the room, and is standing a bit away from the group. “Mind if I speak with my girlfriend?”

The boys shake their heads and begin to leave, Jay taking care to pat me gently on the head before doing so. When the door of the common room is fully closed, I bring my knees up to my chest for Draco to have room to sit. He does so, and I cut off whatever he starts to say. “You’re angry with me, aren’t you?”

He takes a few seconds, but eventually shakes his head. “I was. Now I’m just confused.”

I don’t need to ask what he’s confused about, I know damn well what. I know he’s waiting for me to, though. “And why might that be?”

“Because I don’t think I know anyone who actually wants to become a monster. At least, I didn’t think I did. I need to know why, Keelan. I need to know why you would go against me like that and become a bloody werewolf… with them.”

“You wouldn’t understand, Draco.”

Tears come to my eyes once more. Draco beckons me toward him, and when I move he places his arm around my shoulder to pull me into comfort. “What is it that I wouldn’t understand?”

“I’m tired of being nothing! You, you’re someone that everyone loves. You’re a Quidditch player, a Malfoy, you’re set. What am I? Draco’s girlfriend. I’m nothing to everyone, even my parents. They couldn’t be happier at the end of the summer to get me away from them.”

“You think I wouldn’t understand having crappy parents, Keelan?” He chuckles to himself. “My parents love you more than they love me. My father probably only keeps me around because he knows he can get me to do whatever he wants. I still wouldn’t turn into a werewolf because of it.”

I shrug. “Well I would, and I did. Because now, nobody is going to think I’m nothing, especially the death eaters and the Dark Lord. Now my parents are going to actually respect me for officially joining their side.”

“Well that doesn’t mean that I like you running around with those boys.”

I roll my eyes, accompanied by shaking my head. “No offense love, but that doesn’t really matter. They know I’m with you, and they respect that. They can really only help me at this point, whether you’re jealous of them or not.”

He doesn’t respond to this. Minutes drag by, the silence unbearable. I finally get the gall to ask, “Are you going to break up with me?”

He looks over at me. “No. I love you too much to do that. Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

“You know I will.” I actually don’t know if he knows that, but it’s nice to believe something positive once in a while.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I drop to the ground, my breathing becoming rougher with each passing second. My hands are the first to change, becoming paws equipped with sharp claws to tear through just about anything. My skin grows a bit rougher, different from my well-moisturized human skin in order to accommodate the thick coat of white fur that follows. My mouth and nose elongate, becoming a snout which harbors sharp, strong teeth. The last to shift are my senses of hearing and sight, which make me become aware of my surroundings better than I ever could before. I was the last to transform out of the five of us, and when I finish I find the boys staring in what almost seems like satisfaction at me.

The boys decided that tonight is when you learn to hunt.

If I had eyebrows in this state, I’d definitely be raising one at this moment. What do you mean by that? I ate already…

Remember how you can’t turn into a wolf hungry, so you eat as a human? Well, it can work the other way around in that if you hunt and eat as a wolf, you won’t need to eat the next day, except for like dinner. It helps when you have massive amounts of weekend homework and no time to get food.

Or if you’re just in the mood to kill something, which will happen occasionally in this form. Now the three of us are going to go hunt for ourselves since we haven’t finished our star charts yet, which we have to do tomorrow, so Jay’s going to take you separately and explain everything.

Matt, Moose, and Padge turn and run into the forest, leaving Jay and I alone at the edge. I begin to feel frighteningly alone, even though I still have him here with me. I’ve always been afraid of this forest, always. I’m afraid of the dark enough as it is, improved vision or not. Don’t be so scared, I’m with you.

There are things in this forest, Jay. I’ve read about all of them; there’s giant spiders, gytrashes, trolls, centaurs.

That may be so, but we’ve never encountered any of those up close, they usually just keep their distances. Besides, I’m not going to let any of them hurt you. They’d have to kill me first before that happens.

I reluctantly nod and let him lead me back into the forest. [#7FFF00]Is hunting hard?

He shakes his head, and keeps walking. I grow more and more uncomfortable as each second passes, but he doesn’t show any signs of stopping. As though a thought struck him randomly, he says, Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?

I frown internally. You mean as a wolf?

He doesn’t say anything directly to me, but I recently learned how to get into their minds like they can mine. You don’t want to know what Padge thinks about when he sees girls he considers to be ‘hot’ walking by. The answer to my question was no. Jay, you know I’m with Draco.

I also know that he doesn’t love you as much as you love him. And I know you don’t deserve that. Now here comes the first prey item, so pay attention.

I didn’t really pay attention, not with what he said still in my brain. Of course Draco loves me! He doesn’t know what he’s saying. I didn’t tune back into him until he was telling me it was my turn to catch something. Instincts take over, meaning I didn’t really need to listen to Jay anyway. My body goes rigid as my senses enhance. I soon pinpoint something small, furry, defenseless near a tree. I pounce when the moment comes, seizing the rabbit in my jaws and devouring it in three bites. Jay looks proud when I face him. I ignore the look and continue on.