False Pretense

Maybe it's just me, but there is something about nursing a drunken Billie Joe back to health that makes me feel a fresh batch of compassion for the boy.

I was sitting up against the wall at the head of his bed while he was sprawled across my lap. I wanted to keep his head close to the edge in case he woke up and needed to throw up. I picked up a few Rolling Stone magazines so I was able to keep myself occupied. I started absentmindedly playing with his hair and realized how nice it felt.

Billie stirred and curled up against me so the back of his head was touching my stomach. A few of his hairs brushed against my exposed stomach and I couldn't help but laugh. I looked down from the magazine and noticed how innocent he seemed to be. I ran my fingers through his hair and bent down to kiss his cheek. What am I doing?

I was reading an article on Kurt Cobain when I saw Billie's arm stretch and he sat up lazily next to me.

"What are you doing?" He asked; yawning. I put the magazine down in my lap and looked at Billie. His hair was a mess and the sleepy look in his eyes made him almost look like a puppy dog the way his lips were slightly pouting.

"Reading....Kurt...yeah...Cobain." I stuttered over my words. Billie smirked and leaned in closer to me.

"You know, you playing with my hair felt really good.." His hot breath was on my crook of my neck and I involuntarily shivered.

"Yeah?" I managed to get out.

"Yeah, it was a big turn-on.." He kissed my neck lightly and chuckled into my skin.

"Was it?" I had no idea what to say, or what he wanted.

"Yeah. I was thinking...maybe you could help me out?" He leaned back slightly and looked up at me with a seductive grin on his face.

"I'm not going to sleep with you."

"I know. I wasn't thinking about that." I raised an eyebrow and he chuckled lightly.

"Oh?"

"I was thinking...maybe.."

"You want a blow job?" He smiled and I felt his fingers walk across the exposed part of my stomach.

"Well, now that you mention it..." I internally rolled my eyes.

"If I do this...you can never tell anybody." I threatened, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Promise. Now, let me get you in the mood first."

* * *

"There you are!" A voice yelled, causing me to wake up. I saw an empty bed in front of me and rolled over slowly; I felt as guilty as I was and never wanted to see anybody ever again.

"Oh, god." I whispered. I sat up and turned so my feet were touching the ground.

"What happened to you last night, Kat? We were all so worried!" Traci had her arms crossed over her chest and looked anxious.

"I was going to get my drink when some girl came running past me and she shoved me away from my destination and I ended up hitting this wall," I stood up and stretched my arms. "Then I noticed that the couple by me was Billie and Ashley. Billie was drunk off his ass and he asked me to take him home."

Traci seemed relieved by my story, but I couldn't even fathom what was running through Tre's mind. Oh, Tre. What had I done?

"Well, that's good that nothing happened...right?"

"Right! Nothing!"

"Well, Tre punched Billie, so you might want to get down there and settle this. Tre won't believe a word Billie's saying." I sighed and followed her out the door.

Traci and I ended up in the basement, and Billie was lying on the couch with an ice pack over his lip. Tre was in the corner talking to Mike, who still looked to be fuming. Billie seemed to look relieved when he saw me approaching.

"Sas! Thank god you're here! You need to confirm my story with Tre." I felt Billie's eyes on me but I avoided his stare. I folded my arms over my chest and hung back by the stairs.

"Tre?" I asked, causing him and Mike to turn my way.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you punch Billie Joe?" I looked at Tre, who seemed worn out.

"He's claiming that nothing happened with you last night, but I don't believe him." He walked toward me but I held up a hand for him to stop.

"Nothing happened with Billie. I was on my way to get a drink and this girl ran past me and I ended up hitting this wall and Billie was there making out with Ashley, so I pulled him away from her before he did something even more stupid. We fought a bit and then he ended up asking me to talk him home. So I did." I tore my eyes away from the carpet and met Tre's, who seemed just as relieved as Traci.

"Why were you in his bed?"

"I was looking after him--" I began to explain, but Billie interrupted me.

"Yeah she was." I shot him a glare as he smirked; inhaling on his cigarette.

"Anyway, I was just looking after him. He ended up rolling over and leaving me a lot of room and I eventually just fell asleep." Tre pulled me into an unexpected hug and kissed the top of my head. I pulled away from him quickly, and smiled sheepishly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows a bit.

"I feel dirty. I'm going to go take a shower?" He nodded and before I caught Billie's stare, I made my way up the stairs.

~ ~ ~

Kat had avoided looking at me the whole time she was in the basement. I thought we were going to be okay, she seemed to enjoy what I had done to her and I sure as hell enjoyed what she did to me. For being inexperienced, she sure seemed to be know what she was doing.

I made my way up the stairs and into my bedroom, I was in the mood to write and I needed my notebook. I kicked around random pieces of clothing that were where my notebook was supposed to be. I noticed Kat's Ramones shirt exactly where my notebook should have been.

"Oh, that sneaky bitch." I muttered, walking to the end of my bed. I scanned the floor until I saw it on top of some pants. Gotcha.

I grabbed the notebook and made my way down the hall, I needed to talk to her about this.

~ ~ ~

I sat on the back deck smoking a cigarette. The shower made me feel a little better, but the memories of last night were still there and starting to make me feel sick.

"There you are." I heard Billie's voice appear from the door and I jumped up, stepping as far back as I could.

"Stay away from me." I muttered, inhaling on the stolen cigarette. He furrowed his eyebrows and pulled the slider shut without turning around.

"What?" I noticed his notebook in his hand.

"I said to stay away from me."

"Why?" He raised his eyebrows in genuine shock and I laughed a little bit.

"Why? Because of what happened. I went against my morals for pleasure and I shouldn't have. Not to mention, I have a great boy who's technically my boyfriend."

"It was just a one time thing, but I thought you enjoyed yourself?"

"I did. But, Billie, do you remember yesterday at the Gilman what you told me?"

"No." He shook his head.

"You said you wanted to get laid and I ruined that for you. Well, you were horny last night and you took advantage of me for your convenience."

"Took advantage? You agreed! It was consensual!" I sighed and inhaled on the cigarette.

"That's not what I meant! I know I agreed, but you only tried something because you were horny and wanted some sort of action. You knew I wouldn't agree to sex so you went for the next best thing."

"I don't understand what you're saying." He muttered, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I'm saying to stay away from me." I pushed passed Billie and pulled the slider open; disappearing inside.