False Pretense

I watched from the living room couch as the movers brought in my things from the dorm. It was too late to change what I had done, and I wasn't about to dwell on it.

I had completely lost myself during the past few months. I never would have treated someone the way I had treated Tre, and I never would have done the things I'd done with Billie. I had to separate myself from them, who knows for how long. It could be a month, or it could be forever. I had to get my head back on straight, and my thoughts all cleared, before I would even consider seeing any one of them again.

Billie Joe had promised he'd show me the real him if I showed him the real me, but who was I? I don't know the answer to that, and I don't think it's fair that I keep on with this false pretense. Maybe one day I would show Billie Joe exactly who I was, and I'd see the full image of the person who he was.

I couldn't keep on the course that I was headed. Life stops for no one and I had to keep on with my education if I wanted to make something of myself. Otherwise I was a useless, lost lump. Billie Joe had taught me, whether he realized it or not, you had to stay true to your dreams, no matter what tries to drag you down in the process.

Now, I'm not saying Billie Joe was trying to drag me down. I believe he really cared for me, in his twisted way of showing it, but I wanted to make a life for myself and I couldn't handle the drama that Billie brought, even if that means sacrificing him from my life.

I believe in destiny, and I believe Billie and I were brought together to help each other out one way or another. Maybe that wasn't fulfilled this time, but that doesn't mean the future doesn't hold more opportunities, does it?