Love the One You're With

We were Fifteen
It was the last game of the season, freshman year. Zach's team had gone to the finals and this was the big game. He took the ice, and I could hardly breath. For the first time I realized how good he really was, and how beautiful he was when he skated. He skated around his side of the ice with his team, but I could see his eyes searching the crowd. At first I thought he was nervous; he'd never played in front of this many people before, but that wasn't it. He was searching for someone in the crowd. Finally his eyes met mine, a smile sprang on his face, the one that I knew so well.

The team played great, but no one played better than Zach. He skated faster and harder than anyone on the ice and the goalie had no chance against him. He scored 3 goals and even got showered with hats. Our team won 4-1 and the guys lifted Zach on to their shoulders as the crowd made their way to the ice to join in the celebration. I saw him searching the crowd again, there were girls everywhere, even at 15 they were hoping Zach would look at them, talk to them, date them, but his eyes kept searching.

When he found me in the crowd he jumped down and grabbed me into his arms. "You're amazing Zach!" I yelled over the crowd.

"I couldn't have done it without you Pheebs."

"Right." I replied sarcasticly.

"I can't do anything without you. You're my good luck charm. I love you."

"I love you too Zach."

He kept his arm around me as we walked into the locker room together.

****

I walked downstairs without my ring. I could explain what happened with Zach, but the fact that I couldn't find my ring; I'd have trouble explaining that.

Joe stood up as I entered the room. "Can we get out of here?" he asked.

"Sure."

Despite how angry he must have been, Joe was still the perfect gentleman. He put his arm on my back and guided me toward the door. He opened the front door, but allowed me to walk out in front of him. We got to his car; he held the door and closed it for me. That's who Joe was really, a perfect gentleman. I could see on his face how much he was hurting.

We drove in silence. I wasn't sure where he was taking me, but I was along for the ride and I just kept quite. I was rehearsing what I was going to tell him in my mind when he spoke.

"Phoebe, where's your ring?"

I swallowed hard. "Oh, I got dressed really quick. I just forgot to put it on." So now I was resorting to lying to him. He seemed to buy my explanation though because that's all he said about it.

Joe took me to Frick Park. I knew immediately he was taking me to my favorite restaurant, Cafe at the Frick. The cafe was in the middle of the Frick Estate, which housed a huge mansion, a car museum and the most beautiful gardens I'd ever seen. We got our table and settled in in-front of the windows.

"Joe, can I explain?"

"I wish you would Phoebe."

"Zach is an old friend of mine; my oldest friend really. The last time we spoke we fought. I hadn't talked to him in over three years. I figured we were still fighting so I planned to avoid him while he stayed at Sidney's. Well, when I saw him I realized we had a lot to talk about. Last night we were in my room talking, and we fell asleep. Nothing happened."

"I believe you Phoebe," he said and reached for my hand. "At least the part that nothing happened."

"What do you mean, you don't believe the rest of it?" I asked.

"You have this picture of you and him in your room. I've asked you about it before, but you never gave me a straight answer. You'd just say he was an old friend. Yoy know the thing about that picture that always bothered me Phoebe... It's the way you're looking at him. He was a lot more to you than a friend. I always prayed you'd look at me that way."

"Joe, I don't know what to say." I felt like I could just burst into tears.

"Phoebe, I love you and if you tell me there's nothing going on between you two, I believe you. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. I have to trust you." He smiled at me, but I could tell he was still hurt.

The subject changed quickly, and we started talking about other things. "You really like it here don't you Phoebe?"

"Here at the cafe? I love it. I love the grounds of the Frick Estate. I'd live here if I thought I could get away with it."

Joe smiled at me. "What do you think about having our wedding here, maybe this summer?"

I leaned across the table and kissed him on the lips. "I think this is the best place ever to have a wedding. Thank you Joe."

"After breakfast we can stop and see what dates are available."

I smiled at him, but my mind drifted back to Zach. We hadn't talked in three years and now all I could do was worry that I'd hurt him by not telling him I was engaged. I came back to earth by reminding myself that Zach wasn't mine anymore.

Joe and I walked over to the estate office and asked about dates available for weddings. There were two dates. One was May 14th and the other was July 4th weekend.

"Joe, I can't get married in May."

"Why sweetheart?"

"Sidney may be in the middle of the playoffs. I want him to give me away."

"Well then July 4th weekend it its." We signed the paperwork and Joe gave them a down payment. We scheduled meetings with their staff caterer, florist and photographer. I think I was in shock, things were moving so fast. I'd been engaged for two weeks and in five months I'd marrying Joe.

****

At Mellon Arena, I took my usual seat. I always sat with the wives and girlfriends of the players. Sidney never dated anyone seriously enough to invite to the game so I reaped the benefits. I took my regular seat next to V, Marc-Andre's girlfriend.

The Devils skated out and were greeted with boos. Then the Pens took the ice and everyone cheered. Sidney skated by and waved. I waved back but was a little pre-occupied looking for Zach. He hadn't taken the ice yet. I worried for a moment that something was wrong, but he eventually did skate out. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, he still took my breath away watching him skate on to the ice. His eyes searched the crowd, just like the old days. He skated to the blue line, yelled something to Sid who pointed at me. Our eyes met, and he held my gaze for a moment before he looked away. I looked for the smile that usually followed. This time he didn't smile. I wondered if that's because he realized I wasn't his anymore. I know that was the thought that kept me from smiling.

Zach had a rough game, he had no goals, and no assists. He had several hard checks and Matt Cooke seemed to be on his back everywhere. He was hit in the face with a puck and needed medical assistance. I was on my feet with my hand over my mouth. He got up and skated off the ice, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The final score was 6-2. When I went back to meet Sid after the game, He took me into the locker room. I said hello to the guys and got sweaty hugs from Jordan and a clean showered hug from Kris. I went to Sid's locker and sat there, while Sid took off his pads. "So what's the story Sid, does he want to talk?"

"Well judging by how terrible he played tonight I'm guessing he needs to talk. Come on, I'll take you over there."

We got to the visitors locker room and Sid stuck his head in. "I've got a girl with me, can we come in?"

Sid got the OK, and we walked in. He introduced me to some of the guys, Travis Zajac, Martin Broduer, Patrik Elias. "This is Phoebe, my roommate," Sid said. I was in awe a little bit, especially meeting Marty Broduer. They all seemed like nice guys. "Is Parise around?" Sid asked.

"Wait a minute. Is this Zach's Phoebe?" Travis asked.

Sid smiled and nodded.

"So your the reason Zach was so off his game today. You two need to work everything out; I've never seen him so unfocused." Tavis said.

"Zach's getting his face sewn up." Brian said and pointed to a room off the locker room.

Sid walked in first, and I followed. Zach was sitting on the table and had his eyes closed so he didn't see us come in. He was wearing only his under armor pants exposing his chest that was even more ripped than I remember.

Seeing him cringe as the doctor pulled his floss though Zach's skin made me feel sick. I couldn't help but cry out, "Zach are you Ok?"

Zach's eyes sprung open when he heard my voice which made the stitches hurt worse and he winced. I walked over to his side and he grabbed my hand. "I'm Ok Pheebs. I wasn't sure if I'd see you tonight."

"I'm going back to get a shower," Sidney said walking out the door.

The doc finished sewing Zach's eye and left, leaving Zach and I alone in the room. I put my finger on Zach's swollen head.

"How many stitches?" I asked.

"Nine."

"Not your record." I teased.

"Yeah? What's my record?"

"24, from the high stick in North Dakota."

Zach gave me one of his famous smiles. "Can you wait for me to get a shower? I don't want you to leave."

"Sure," I said.

"Great," Zach said smiling. He jumped off the table grabbed my hand and walked me into the locker room.

"Marty this is Phoebe."

"I know we met."

"Can she wait here with you? I don't want the other guys to get near her. Protect her like you'd protect the net."

"Will do Parise."

And with that Zach walked off to the showers.

"So you and Zach used to be a couple huh?" Marty asked.

I couldn't believe that Marty Brodeur was asking me about my relationship with Zach. "Yeah, but that was a long time ago."

"Not that long, only three years." Marty said.

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"I've had many long plane rides with your boy Zach. I know a lot about you."

I was really surprised that Zach would talk to his teammates about me. There was something about Marty though that made me feel like talking to him.

"I'm really surprised he'd talk about me. I'm sure he's had lots of girls in his life since then."

"That's just it. It's not that he hasn't been with other girls, but never more than one or two dates. I think he's been hung up on you, his hometown sweetheart."

"Well if that's true, he has a funny way of showing it. Not calling me for three years, I hardly think he's hung up on me."

"Oh I beg to differ, you're the only one he ever talks about. He tells us stories about you two growing up together. I don't think he's changed that much Phoebe. Maybe you should give it another try."

I was so uncomfortable with the conversation at this point. I had spent three years getting Zach out of my head. I finally had a plan, my life was on track and here was a guy I didn't even know trying to crash down all my walls. "You know, I think I better go." I stood up and walked toward the door, but Marty grabbed my elbow gently.

"Please don't go, Zach will never forgive me."

I took a deep breath. I stepped back and took a seat near Marty.

"I see now, you don't want to get back together with Zach. Your not here to rekindle things."

"No Marty, I'm not."

"I owe you an apology young lady. I guess I've been in this business so long, I'm so used to gold digger x-girlfriends trying to get what they can from hockey players that actually make it."

"Ya that's not me. I didn't even want to see Zach, but Sidney made sure I did."

"So why did you break his heart in the first place?" Marty asked.

"Me, break his heart? Oh that's funny."

"What? The kid obviously still has a thing for you and you're trying to avoid him, so I assumed it was you that broke it off."

"You're wrong on that one Marty. He broke my heart, and it has taken me three years to move on." Tears came to my eyes and Marty seemed to notice.

"I'm sorry Phoebe. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh, I've been upset for three years, it's not you believe me. I just never imagined my life without Zach and then all of sudden he was gone. Now I have to face him again and it's so hard."

"Listen Zach is going to be out in a few minutes. If you ever want to talk, or just want to know how he's doing you can call me. Give me your phone." I did as he said, and he put his number in. "You both seem like such good kids, it seems to me you should work things out."

"It's too late for that Marty."

"Too late for what?" Zach asked coming into the room.