We'll Fly Home, You And I

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"Dammit!" I yelled. I had been playing Donkey Konga for almost an hour. It was so frustrating when the damn controller/bongos wouldn't work though. I called Charlie when I came back into the dressing room on one of the guy's cell phones. I don't know whose it was, but they had three missed voice messages from Alicia. I told Charlie not to come pick me up. I don't know how late I'll be out staying with the guys. Could be all night, could be an hour. I don't know. I was just going to walk back from where ever we were.

"Fuck this!" I shouted once more at the game, throwing the controller at the wall. Shit. VERY bad idea. I walked over to where it had landed, now in pieces. Broken. God, I can't pay for that!! That's atleast five guys I'd have to fuck.

"Hannah!" Gerard squealed as he came back into the room.

"I-I can explain!!" He gave me a questioning look.

"Explain what?" The rest of the guys filed into the room.

"The bongos!" Bob and Frank shouted. I winced as Gerard turned back to me.

"I can pay for it, I promise!! I'll just have to-"

"No. It's fine. I've never liked that game any way. They play it too much."

"B-bbb-bongos," Bob whined.

"Bob you have a whole fucking drum set. Get over it." Mikey said.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to!! It was the game, I guess I wasn't good at it and. . . ." I fell to my knees at Gerard's feet. "Please don't hurt me. I'll do what ever you want. Handjobs. Blowjobs. Anything! Just please don't. . . ." I trailed off.

"What!?!" He yelled. He descended down next to me. I had begun to cry immensly. I didn't want them to hurt me like all the other men had. And five against one? I'd never have a chance. "Hannah, we would NEVER do something like that to you. Do you understand me? And we would never ask you for anything like that. It's fine. It was just an accident." He wrapped his arms around my shaking frame and glared over at Bob, telling him to say something.

"Ya, we have plenty of much better video games. And I have other drums I could. . . smash." I looked up at Gerard to find him staring down at me with nothing but sympathy. How could someone be so nice to someone they meet only a day ago? I don't deserve this kind of attention. But Gerard's eyes penetrated my skull and began to figure out what I was thinking.

"Come on, lets go get something to eat," he said helping me up.

"Where? I've never been around here. I don't know of any places."

"Bob?" Gerard asked him. His eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"The only place around here is a bar."

"How do you know that?" I questioned.

"Bob used to live here," Frank answered. Ah, a fellow Chicagoian. Gerard let out an exasperated sigh.

"I guess we can go there than." We all headed out to get some late night food. Bob led the way as we trudged down the streets since it was in walking distance.

When we arrived, the familiar scent of cigarette smoke and drunken men filled my senses. If I was any average thirteen year old, I might have puked, but I had grown accustom to it. We sat down at ratty old booth of torn red letter and soon a waitress walked up to our table.

"And what can I get you?" she asked.

"Beer"
"Coke Zero"
"Water"
"Beer"
"Diet Coke"
"Shirly Temple" We all eyed Frank as he said it. "Wha?"

"Can I change my water to a Shirly Temple?" I asked.

"Sure sweetie. Your drinks will be out in a sec." I don't think anyone has ever called me 'sweetie' before. At least not in a loving tone like she did. I quite liked it.

"So. Favorite song." Gerard demanded.

"Ummm. The one you dedicated to me," I smiled.

"Just because he dedicated it to you?" Ray asked.

"No,. . . . maybe. Ya, you're right. Uh, the last one, Helena." Mikey and Gerard grinned at each other. "Now tell me what it's about."

"I was just about to. Helena is Mikey and I's grandmother. We were very close to her, and she died before the record came out." That would explain the she he was talking about at the beginning of the song. "We did a music video for it too. We'll have to let you watch it." I nodded as the waitress came back with our drinks.

"You ready to order?" she asked.

"Oh," Gerard said. We had forgotten about food. "Hamburgers and fries sound good to every one?"

"Can you make mine a Veggie Burger?" asked Frank. The waitress nodded and wrote it down on a pad of paper.

"And a basket of onions ring too," Bob added. The rest of us nodded approvingly.

"All right. I'll have your orders out as soon as possible." Once she was out of earshot, I turned to Frank.

"Veggie Burger?" I said.

"I'm a vegetarian. Vegan." Well, that's not something you'd expect from a guy covered in tattoos.

"Oh, guess what!" I shouted excitedly.

"What?" they said. I leaned in close and spoke in a whisper.

"I got the Mikey Way to sign my arm. See?" I pulled it out onto the table.

"No fucking way! Let me look!" Mikey said, pulling it closer to him.

"Pssh. That's not Mikey Way's autograph. Looks more like a Nicky Bay to me," Frank said from beside him. Gerard grabbed my wrist, I winced, and examined the print.

"No, see? That's an M. The two things. And the W is just on its side a little bit." He shifted my arm from one hand to another as the rest of them carried on with their own conversation. He stopped and took a side glance at me.

Had he felt them? My scars? I admit that yes, I did cut. But the only reason I did was it was the only thing that made me feel better and was the only addiction that didn't cost any money. I had to have some release from all the things I had to go through and do to get by.

Gerard slowly turned over my arm to reveal thick red lines decorating my skin. He gave me a "We'll-talk-in-private-later" look, and I sunk down in my seat a little.

"IIIII'm going to the restroom. Be right back." I slipped out of the booth and walked down the line of stools next to the bar, not taking my eyes off of my destination, a chipped wooden door the word "Women" on it. But I never reached it.

"Well, well, well, look who it is," a hand grabbed my upper arm and I was pulled towards the bar. And I came face to face with an old client. Or rather not a client. He's one of the ones that would NOT pay me. But he always seemed to pick me whenever he wanted a good time. "What are you doing on this side of town Hannah?" I remained silent and kept my gaze to the floor. "Aw, not talking are we?" He shoved me closer to him and forced me into a kiss. I obliged, having no choice. I didn't want previous events to repeat themselves. Still sucking on my face, he pulled my hand down so that it was holding his crotch. I knew what he wanted. A handjob. In public. Hot tears rolled down my face as I started but was pulled back by a strong force and into someone else's arms. I heard a loud pounding sound and turned to see Ray hitting the man square in the face.

Frank was holding onto me as Gerard began to join in with Ray.

"HEY! HEY! No fighting in the bar! You'll have to take this outside gentlemen," the bartender instructed. The man was already on the ground, holding his head in his hands.

"Come on guys lets get out of here," Gerard said. I saw him place some money on our table and we left. Frank helped me along, but I was crying so much that I couldn't even walk, so Gerard picked me up and carried me. I didn't weigh much since I never got to eat anything, so I'm sure it was no task for him.

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