We'll Fly Home, You And I

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I must have fallen asleep during my crying fit because I woke up in a soft bed. A really soft bed. Warm white sheets. I sat up to view my surroundings, then cautiously went back down. I was in a hotel room. And hotel rooms only meant one thing for me. But my clothes were not tossed to the floor, I had no memory of ever doing anything.

I turned to my side to find Frank, fast asleep. His clothes were on. Bob and Ray were in the bed closer to the window. But where were. . .

"Got any threes?"

"Go fish." Mikey and Gerard were on the floor playing a card game. I pulled the covers back and walked over to their spot on the ground. "Hey! You're awake!" Mikey said. Gerard looked up and motioned for me to sit with them. As soon as my ass hit the carpet, Gerard's arm surrounded me entirely in a warm hug. I sat there awkwardly until he let go.

"Are you alright?" I nodded, keeping my eyes on the floor. I didn't want to look at them. I was ashamed of what I had let the man do to me. Sure it happened all the time, but I forgot I was with people who didn't want me to have to go around doing it.

"Why am I still with you guys? You could've dropped me off . . . somewhere. I don't want to be a burden."

"Burden?" Gerard scoffed. "We didn't want to leave a crying girl on the streets in the middle of the night in Chicago. That's be idiotic!"

"Well, aren't you guys on tour or something? Don't you have another city you need to be at?"

"No," Mikey said. "We're just doing a few shows before our next album comes out. It's sort of to promote it."

"You want to see?" Gerard asked, now excited.

"Sure." He jumped up and rushed over to a large black bag and pulled out a CD case that was a grayish color and handed it to me. "The Black Parade," I read. I turned to the back to read the song titles. A few such as Mama, Disenchanted, I Don't Love You, and Famous Last Words caught my eye. I shuffled it back over to the front. There was what appeared to be a skeleton in a marching band costume right in the center.

"I drew that," he said. I looked up to see him examining it himself.

"It looks awesome," I complimented. He mumbled a thanks just as we heard Frank start to wake up.

"Hey what time is it?" he said while yawning.

"Six o' clock," Mikey said. Frank sat there for a moment before getting out entirely.

"Good enough," he said. "Did you guys make any coffee yet?"

"Ya, but you'll have to make some more if we're going to have any left." Gerard looked down at me. "Do you want any coffee?"

"No thanks." I said. I had never had coffee, but if it turned out that I liked it, it's just another thing I'll have to work to pay for. Frank came back in with a mug of coffee rubbing his head.

"Do we have any ice? I think I hit my brain with the guitar last night."

"Well if you didn't swing it around like a retard, I'm sure that wouldn't happen," Mikey said.

"I'll go get you some ice," Gerard said, stopping an argument before it happened. "Come with me Hannah?"

"No I'm . . ." He gave me a look to tell me that I needed to come with him. "Alright." I got up, got the ice bucket and headed towards the ice machine with Gerard. "What?" I asked once we were out of the room. He grasped my hand and rotated my arm so that it was facing up. Large visible lines shown up at us, dark terrifying memories for me.

"Why?" he asked. "Why do you do this to yourself?" We began to walk down the hall.

"You honestly expect me to go through all that I've had to put up with and not have some kind of self torture Gerard? I can barely put up with myself! I'm a fucking whore Gerard!! My only reason to live is to give other people a good time! I'm sure if it wasn't for birth control, I'd be pregnant right now. And I wouldn't be able to go have my kid in a hospital, because then they'll find out that I have no parents and send me to an orphanage where I would spend the rest of my life watching the other kids leave while I wasted away in some cold dark room until I turn eighteen. THEN, I would be back out on the streets! Face it Gerard, my life has been pointless!!! I don't even deserve to have one!!!!" By this time I was crying again.

Gerard tried to comfort me by putting an arm around my shoulder but I shoved it off. "No, Gerard. You shouldn't be doing this. I've done nothing to deserve any of this. I shouldn't have come here. Don't waste your time or money on me Gerard. I'm not worth it. I'm just a lost cause." He was going to say something, but I never heard it. I took off running down the hall towards where the elevators would be.

"Wait!! HANNAH!!!!" He shouted at me. "Hannah, COME BACK!!!" But I ignored him. I slipped into an open elevator and hit the bottom button. His pounding footsteps were coming closer and closer. I hastily hit the "Close" button until it agreed to obey. And I left them and went back to where I belong. Where I will always belong. To the nightlife of Chicago.

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