Hermione's Little Brother

If Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley knew that Bartholomew de Bois had severe motion sickness, they probably never would have agreed to chaperone him to the Grangers. About 5 minutes after Bart found the bombed up GPS, he began to feel very, very sick.

“Hold it in,” Harry said, speaking the usual.

“I can’t,” Bart sobbed, his voice wobbling, “this is why I never trav-lerughhhh…”

“Bloody HELL!” Ron yelled, leaping out of his seat and turning around, only to be faced with green-faced Bart emitting foul substances from his mouth, “Ohh….” Ron proceeded groaned, “that’s disgusting.”

“Sorry,” Bart managed to snap, before his face ducked out of sight again, followed by ghastly retching noise.

“Harry,” Ron whined, his hand shook as held his wand, “can I… please… clean it up?”

“Ron!” Harry hissed, “Not when Bart’s around.”

“It’s disgusting!” the redhead moaned, and grimaced as another gut-wrenching groan came from behind them. It wasn’t long til the pong of vomit wavered to the front seats.

“Oh, I’m going to be sick too,” Ron warned, slapping a hand over his mouth, holding his wand with the other.

“Put it away!” Harry half-yelled, making a lunge at Ron, leaving the wheel completely unmanned.

“Can’t! Stand! Stench!” Ron spat, waving his wand wildly around.

Harry grabbed both Ron’s wrists and forced them down. His foot was off the accelerator, but the Convertible was on cruise control, so the car continued to speed forwards.

As Bart continued to hurl unspeakables into the foot area of the back seats, Harry and Ron began a comical wrestle for the redhead’s wand.

“Hermione said no magic!” Harry hissed.

“Mione said no magic,” Ron mimicked, keeping a firm hold of his wand, “easy for you to do!”

“We’re not ruining Bart’s innocence before Hermione gives the thumbs up!” Harry growled.

“I’ve been going magic-less for over six hours!” Ron frothed, “let me at’em!”

“Ron!” Harry roared, grabbing the wand and throwing it under his seat, “snap out of it!”

“Harry…” Bart moaned, “the car…”

The black-haired driver gave Ron a heavy shove to secure him onto the chair before landing with a thump back on his own and throwing his foot down onto the break.

The entire car halted to a dead stop in less than a second. Ron, who had bent down to retrieve his wand and resurfaced again, threw his hands against the passenger compartment to prevent himself from hitting the windscreen. Behind him, Bart lurched forwards from the car’s movement and gave a final groan before emptying the pits of his stomach onto the redhead in front.

Harry reeled forwards from the brake, and he hung in the air for a few seconds before flinging backwards onto his seat. To his left, he heard a pained moan.

“Bloody hell,” Ron gasped, “Bloody. Hell. Bloody. Hell.”

Harry dreaded to turn his head just the slightest to look at his friend, in case it would cost him his sight.

“I swear,” Ron continued with more than just an edge to his voice, “if Bart hasn’t already died from the vomiting, I’m going to kill him.”

Harry turned to at the redhead, delaying as much as he could, and had to summon all his willpower to not burst into laughter.

Ron’s face was scrunched up in anger and frustration. His red, red hair would have easily illustrated his fury if it wasn’t coated in cream green sludge with little black pieces wedged in between. His paralysed fingers were splayed across the passenger compartment, and between them he clutched his wand.

In two parts.

It was like the second year of Hogwarts all over again. Only they weren’t being chased the Hogwarts Express, battered by a moving tree, driving a bewitched car. And they definitely didn’t have a barfing third passenger.

“I don’t know what’s worse,” Ron whimpered, “breaking my second wand, or having Bart’s sick all over me.”

“Sorry, Ronald,” Bart coughed, emerging from the back row, “I shouldn’t have caviar for breakfast anymore, I should remind Sister Hermione.”

Ron pushed the door open and flung himself out, gloopy liquid clinging to his shirt.

“Go clean yourself up,” Harry dismissed, before flinging around to check on Bart, “Bartholomew, are you okay?”

Bart looked up at the older boy and nodded, a shadow of his smile returning, “I need the toilet now…”

“Bart!” Ron snapped, “You live here, where’s the nearest lake?”

“I don’t know,” Bart sulked, jiggling his knees, “I just need to pee.”

“Go use the bushes,” Ron snorted, “I did. It was satisfying. Harry?”

“I would know if the GPS was working,” Harry replied, giving the redhead a knowing look.

“The bushes are swarmed with creepy crawlies,” Bart complained.

“Said the boy who has Caviar for breakfast,” Ron sneered, opening Bart’s door, “come on. I’ll show you.”

“I’ll clean the car,” Harry said, his hand already reaching for the wand in his back pocket, “you guys can go somewhere for a while.”

Bart hopped out of the car and began to follow Ron, who had already began to trudge into the wilderness. Luckily for him, they found a lake not too far in. Ron happily jumped into the waters, while Bart settled on a seemingly clean bush to remove his trousers to.

There was silence for a while.

“Harry was attacked a giant snake in a girl’s bathroom once,” Ron said testily.

“Sure,” came Bart’s reply.